depressed help: My Mum is ruining my life! - Help.com

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What is it about your mum that drives you to the edge and makes you want to self harm?

Have you tried talking to her about it?

I don’t think that self harm is attention seeking at all. Sure as eggs is eggs you hide the cuts from your family and friends.
Are you in any therapy at the moment?

Does she know that you self harm?

I suppose this break up with your boyfriend is what pushed you back to cutting this time. Or was it your mum?

Normal_Charlie wrote:
im not in therapy cos i dont want anyone to find out. I havent done it for so long but ive just been feeling so low recently.

The more ppl you tell this, the easier it’ll become…also you’ll receive more advices, different points of view, and generally understanding…

You say that no matter what you do, your mum won’t change. Maybe knowing you self harm is the push she needs to see that maybe she is a bit overbearing and overprotective. She probably doesn’t mean to be and would be horrified she had made you feel this way. Maybe you just need to give her a chance.

If you can’t talk to your mum yourself, then you need some outside help. Definitely for the self harm, and maybe to help you and your mum communicate better too.

What was it that your mum did that made your boyfriend break up with you? Having an over-protective mother cannot be the only reason he broke up with you can it.

wow, i’ve just noticed that i’ve a long username….errr sry about this comments, but i haven’t slept so maybe i won’t make much sense =P

soo…what ppl would think of you or your mum?

And what would they think?

Of course you don’t want people to know, but for things to get better other people may need to know, unless you think you can do this on your own. Are you still at school?

Alright, she wouldn’t let you see him, hmmm, did she have legitimate cause to separate you two? Was there a large age difference or did she ever mention something about him she didn’t like, I’m just trying to see if she just overly concerned about you or taking things a little to extreme because she thinks its the right thing to do. How old are you and have you ever spoken with her about how she is smothering you before?

Lots of ppl cut, and if you ask me, the act itself it’s stupid, bot the persons…
it’s stupid because, the physical pain will overwhelm you and your psychological pain for some second or a few minutes, after which you’ll be back to your problem…so basically: you aren’t solving a thing, you’re leaving scars on yourself, you’re getting your self-esteem down, you’re avoiding the main problem, and you’re closing yourself from others help because you think no-one can understand…

you should talk to your counselor, listen to what he/she has to say on the matter, and stop doing something pointless and stupid as cutting…
you can also try telephone lines if you’re really down, come in here (not my highest bet, since you can become addicted to this), talk to someone who you know, or do something to keep your head off the matter…

i wish i could help, but im in the same situation

ƒ∂ƖƖεи tears wrote:
i wish i could help, but im in the same situation

you could understand each other, and help each other that way,,,

but i dont cut.
when i used to get soooo angry and didnt want to hurt anyone i would seriously think about it to let my anger out. but i didnt. i hate being called emo. if i did cut, i would just be approving to wat everyone was calling me.

Hay I know hurting yourself shows how much helpless you feel..

Someone who self harms is not an emo, they are someone who needs a little help and maybe a shoulder to cry on till they are better.

ƒ∂ƖƖεи tears wrote:
but i dont cut.when i used to get soooo angry and didnt want to hurt anyone i would seriously think about it to let my anger out. but i didnt. i hate being called emo. if i did cut, i would just be approving to wat everyone was calling me.

you can still compare that

Ok she seems to be a little overly possessive and defensive. Have you tried telling her you are not a kid anymore and can handle yourself fine, and that if you should need help you will tell her but that she’s not to get so protective of you unless you do need it.

Do you think it has got so bad you wouldn’t be able to stop on your own?

Let it be……. stop thinking about it….
go out…have some fun..do something creative…….
do something you havent tried till now……. take you mind away from it….
thinking again and again on this will hurt you every time……
best way is help others in this web site……… you will feel much better..

OK… 18 and still feeling like this is not a good sign; clearly your mother is very much overprotective of you. I seriously recommend professional counseling. It helps to talk to someone. Venting here is all well and good, but it’s not the same thing; trust me. I can see your point of not having her over react, but this is for your own well being. At 18 you need to be more concerned with yourself, and you need to start looking toward your own future, unless you plan on living with your mom. Cutting is obviously a form of self harm and is very addictive. It’s risky and you need help to stop it. At 18 you can see anyone you want, and if you look around it’s not even that expensive. If you see a student intern it’s very affordable. Please seek the help you need and clearly are asking for.

i know…but it doesn’t help you….

think of the problem as a tree…by cutting, you’re only taking away the leaves of it…you need to take it off from the root if you want to solve it, for good…

You say that you don’t know where to go for help. Well you can go to your Dr.

Richard cor de lyon wrote:
OK… 18 and still feeling like this is not a good sign; clearly your mother is very much overprotective of you. I seriously recommend professional counseling. It helps to talk to someone. Venting here is all well and good, but it’s not the same thing; trust me. I can see your point of not having her over react, but this is for your own well being. At 18 you need to be more concerned with yourself, and you need to start looking toward your own future, unless you plan on living with your mom. Cutting is obviously a form of self harm and is very addictive. It’s risky and you need help to stop it. At 18 you can see anyone you want, and if you look around it’s not even that expensive. If you see a student intern it’s very affordable. Please seek the help you need and clearly are asking for.

where does it say she’s 18?
lol, i haven’t read it

You dont have to go out to divert you mind and to stop hurting yourself….
be creative.. start painting…. writing poems… songs…..
divert your negetive thoughts in these positive direction instead of giving pain to yourself…. seriously try it …it will help….

If you don’t know whether it is possible for you to stop without help, then I suggest you find someone to help you. Even if it’s just a back-up. Does your college have a counsellor you could talk to?

Well is it possible to take about a week away from home and stay with a friend, another relative, so you can relax and not worry about her so much. Then after the week see if she has changed after being away from you, if not, have another calm talk with her and remind her, she sounds like she wants to be better to you because she has tried changing but fallen back into her old habits. Just let her know when shes being over bearing, for instance, if shes starting to smother you say very calmly, mum, calm down and give me a little space, or something along those lines, let her know shes being over-protective and constantly remind her if necessary.

no prob

I hope things get better for you, just try to take some time out for yourself, let your body heal again. And don’t be afraid to talk to people, if strangers online can offer so much help just imagine what a good friend or relative could do.

No problem. If you ever want to talk then you know where to find us :)

Go and talk to your Doctor. Not for drugs, just someone that will listen closely and be able to put you on the right path for being able to cope in other non painful ways.

What is it that you want to do in life? Work on that and do not try to please you mum just yourself.