Family help: I’ve always spent Christmas with my family in New York.

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I’ve always spent Christmas with my family in New York.

I have lived in Florida for the past four years. We booked tickets to spend the holidays with my family until my sister refused to allow us to stay at her house. My mother has made arrangements for us to stay with her, but my sister is upset because now I will not be as available to her for her wedding arrangements, which is in August. I’ve now been demoted as M.O.H. to a bridesmaid because she feels that I have not helped her enough with her wedding. I have been accused of caring more about my own life than her wedding day. My mother has accused us of acting bratty and told us to act like adults. I feel that I haven’t done anything wrong. My boyfriend is appalled by my sister’s behavior and no longer wants to make the trip. He had made the choice to spend it with me rather than his family. He now wants me to stay here with him to celebrate together with his family. This would be our second Christmas together, but last year were with our own families. I’m to the point where I don’t even want to go either, but feel that it would hurt my mother, especially since I know she hates that I live in another state. What do you think?

This open post was written 11 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 156, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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sc4250 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

Wow, it sounds to me like your sister is being a bit over-controlling. Not knowing every detail thought I don’t feel right making a solid assumption. In all honesty though if you ever do settle down with someone you might not always be able to spend christmas with just YOUR family unless you marry someone who doesn’t celebrate the holiday (does that make sense?). With that in mind, it is completely your call.

Help me with: I have been trying to sleep for close to two hours..

nikecw1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (29 minutes after post)

Yes, it makes sense and thanks for your reply. I know that eventually that will probably be what happens unless for some reason I ever decide to leave the warm weather for the tundra of NY winters again. It’s hard to tell you all of the details, but as the maid of honor, she never really told me what she wanted me to be doing. Apparently, what she wanted me to be doing was looking stuff up on the Internet for her to view (dresses, flower arrangments, etc.) I did help her with some things, maybe not as much as I was supposed to, but I live hundreds of miles away and can’t afford to make airplane trips back and forth to help her. She says that I am causing her more stress rather than helping her(a bit overdramatic I think).Obviously I am not a mindreader and I am very busy in my own life. I am a teacher and am very busy planning and also work a second job for extra money. She accused me of caring more about playing soccer than her wedding. I do play alot of soccer, but that’s not the point. The point is that this is my life that I’m living. I’m not here to serve her wedding needs hand and foot. I feel as if she’s one of those bridezillas! I also forgot to mention that she is younger than me and has a habit of being very rude to people.

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sc4250 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (35 minutes after post)

From what you said I feel like because she is getting married she feels everything must be about her 24/7 until the very day. If she hasn’t asked anything from you, there really is nothing you can be expected to do, and if she feels MOH only has to do with how much you help and not how close you are otherwise, then let her do what she is going to do because it is a backwards idea. If she cared that much to have you be MOH she would understand your situation and that you can’t just drop everything and cater to her. Talk to you mother and see what she thinks, maybe you can make a trip to see just your mother later after the holiday’s and this little confrontation blow over a bit.

Help me with: I have been trying to sleep for close to two hours..

Kuvri (yodaluv12) 2 #
Kangerlussuaq, 01, GL | 11 months, 1 week ago (35 minutes after post)

I say forget your sister and her crazy ideas and do what YOU want to do. btw you should care more about soccer and your job than her one-day wedding… it’s her wedding, not yours.

Help me with: We are nearly at a time where most of the world will make a historical decision- what will you decide?

nikecw1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (45 minutes after post)

Thanks, this is what I’m thinking as well. I just wanted to vent a little and make sure I wasn’t crazy. BTW, my mother can also have twisted ideas as well, like when she got mad at me for not sending her a christmas list in time because I was busy with other things :). Ahhh the joys of family!

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I’ve always spent Christmas with my family in New York.

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