Love help: I feel as if i cannot go to college because of my boyfriend.

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I feel as if i cannot go to college because of my boyfriend.

I know i love him, but he is extremly possesive. I had already promised him that i would not ever make him wait for me. I have good grades and i want to go to college if i get a chance so i can get a job and he and i can be together. he wants to go to college too, but his grades are below average, so he may not get into the same school as i do. if i got accepted to my first choice school and he did not get accepted there, i feel that i would not be able to go because he would say that i would be making him wait for me (because the only way he and i can get an apartment together (already paid for) is if i go to my first choice school, not neccissarily him). that would mean that he would have to make a longer commute to get to his school which would cut into our time together (even if we had classes at the same time) . he also would not know where i am at all times, and worry about what i was doing and if i was ok. the other issue is that even if we got into the same school, we would not be the same major, so we would have to take classes apart. if this happened he would feel that i had been making him wait (unless we had all the classes at all the same times) and he would still worry about what i would be doing and who i would be talking to, and if i was ok. if i do make him wait by choice, i know that he would commit suicide. i feel like i cannot go to a college because he would be gone, eventhough i worked all through highschool and feel that i deserve it. i feel that i would not be able to go and be forced to sit back and wait for him every day to come home from college and i dont even work (because he would worry about me then). i dont know what to do because i love him and he needs me to live, but i feel like i cant win and that no matter what i do (unless we got into the same school, had the same major, had all the same classes together at all the same times) that he will be unhappy and go and kill himself. i do not know what to do. help!!!!!!!

This open post was written 11 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 180, 6, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Katiebug637 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (4 hours, 9 minutes after post)

Wow, based on my experiences, I learned the hard way that you cannot be on top of someone like that every second of every hour of every day. Its just no way to live. He is not having a life/enjoying his life when he spends every second of his time “worrying” about you and what you are doing , who you are talking to ect… I was like him, actually I still am but I am learning to control that. Luckily I am able to somewhat snap out of it now and I feel much better.

I suggest you have a long talk with him and in the end, you need to tell him that its all about trust. He has to trust you that you will be okay without him always knowing what you are doing at all times. Don’t let him be the reason you are not going to school. Go to school for you! for YOUR future! Don’t let anyone get in the way of that. If that is what you want to do, do it! If he loves you he will support you and trust you. There should be no need to even question that.

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ellecee 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (13 hours, 32 minutes after post)

There is absolutely no reason in the world that you should feel so responsible for this guy’s happiness. There is a serious control problem here bordering on the dangerous. Love is supposed to enhance your life, not imprison you. If you chain yourself to his needs and insecurities you have a depressing life ahead.

Live for yourself, step carefully out of this situation, and don’t look back. You have a whole life of possibilities and successes ahead of you. There will be many loves in your life, many experiences. You owe it to yourself to take the opportunities that come your way. If he loves you, he will want you to have all the best in your life. Even if that at times takes you away from him.

Be careful, and good luck.

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henleypatric 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (1 week, 1 day after post)

Why not just live together? You could still both go to collage and see each other, just make sure that the one your applying to isn’t to far away from where he might go.

unique_love1989 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

you should make him leave u..dont leave him but trick him into wanting to leave u that way he wont be so upset and go off hurting someone or himself..and u can live without that burden because u know u did what u had to do for the both of you.

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Cheukie 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (4 weeks, 1 day after post)

Im not sure how u feel about ur boyfriend. But, plz ask urself how long u two can keep, n wht u want to do in the future. But, knowledge can be with u forever, n studying wht u love is am amazing experience. Better college, better students, better teachers, better experience.

Although u hv to leave from ur bf for a while, u still can contact him. In holiday, u will hv daySSSS to meet him. Love is based on trust. Do u trust his love? It is that same problem to him, if u r an adult, n he trust u, wht does he need to worry?!

ALL U NEED TO DO. ASK URSELF, DO U TRUST HIS LOVE? N, does he?

Also, remember this, hving new experiences n sharing with him is so fun. U two just do the same things over and over. One day, u two will get bored. separation makes u two miss each other. thinking about it positively. it just tells u two how important u are~! Strengthen the bonding between u n ur bf. Wht a sweet thing~~~

s.avil #
An Unknown Location | 4 days, 4 hours ago (11 months, 2 weeks after post)

the best jobs go to college grads don’t listen to him follow your dream don’t u wanna have a job were u could get paid more

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I feel as if i cannot go to college because of my boyfriend.

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