What if i wrote this to someone do you think they will be mad or understanding? - Help.com

Hmmmm . . . this reads to me like a “breakup message,” so the other person may react somewhat negatively, as he sees himself being dumped.

I don’t think you meant it negatively. I think you are seeing fundamental differences between your “world views,” and you are seeing him as wanting someone very different from you. And then there’s the question of the “mood swings.” Sounds like you both get depressed at the same time, so cannot support each other.

Don’t know if I would send it . . . I’d try talking to the guy and asking him if I was truly what he wanted. I’d tell him that I hadn’t been helping myself because I had been so focused upon him. I’d also ask myself if HE was what I wanted in a boyfriend, and potential life mate.

But talk to each other. Written words convey only half the meaning we want them to!

Some couples “mesh,” and others do not. It’s easier when your world views coincide, but it’s not absolutely necessary. The most important thing is to be ACCEPTING of each other’s viewpoints and attitudes about things.

If you can still SUPPORT each other, different viewpoints notwithstanding, you can still be right for each other.

I can be friends with almost anyone. I don’t reject people because their viewpoints are different from mine. What I need in a friend, or spouse, is someone who ACCEPTS me for who I AM, who doesn’t berate or belittle me because I see things somewhat differently.

Look at James Carville, who is a Democratic Party strategist. He’s married to a Republican! They seem to love each other, although their politics are diametrically opposed!

If you can accept each other and be happy with each other, it doesn’t matter.

People can learn to cook. HE can learn to cook, as well.

Yea but i mean he said im a head case anyway. So why not just end it? We will be doing each other a favor. I dont even know why i asked something so obvious. I know he will be really hurt because he told me on numerous occasions that he really cares for me. I care for him but i always visioned myself with someone who loved animals just as much as me. We even talked about how we will deal with the animal issue because i really really love them. I see them as being equal to humans which to ALL of my friends seem stupid. I never met a person who love animals as much as me only professors :( so i know they are out there. He said hes going to take a cooking class and i said i will love to cook together and learn new things.

I do this all the time though. I push people esp guys but i really dont know how to break it. And i really dont know if im doing it because its not what i want or if i dont think i deserve it

I think me and him need to have a one on one talk and see where this goes

I’m pretty much on the same wavelength with you as regards the animals, and I think the way we treat them reflects very poorly upon us as a species . . . and I also think the “Humane Societies” that kill dogs and cats are right up there with Auschwitz and Dachau.

I don’t think being called a “head case” is very complimentary in itself, but it COULD be said in a way as to indicate concern, and not ridicule. Personally, I’d choose quite different words to convey my concerns!

Anyway, kid, you don’t have to DO anything today . . . you don’t have to make any major decisions about your relationship.

Why don’t you take that cooking class with him and see how things turn out?

Well he really didnt say head case but thats basically what he meant. I just put it in simpler terms.

Thats funny that you ask that because i said i wanted to take that class with him :). Im so use to cooking for myself that i dont know how to cook for others. Im health conscious so i dont put a lot of seasonings in my food (i use to be addicted to salt when i was a little girl and it took determination to curve that addiction.) and i also cook healthy foods. Hes the total opposite so i dont know how to cook for him. I like my food because ive grown accustomed to healthy underseasoned foods hes not and i dont know how to explain that to him. I just advoid the question whenever he ask me to cook. Plus i dont think the “girl” should have to live up to what society says so i kind of get offended when men ask me if i know how to cook

I have to do something soon because hes starting to call me a lot after we’ve been ignoring eachother. I just dont know what to say so i dont answer or respond to his messages

Don’t know about your cooking ability . . . do know that I’m a lousy carpenter and plumber, so there goes a male stereotype right out the window!

You can find happy mediums in cooking and everything else!

How about planning a trip to the zoo or a local aquarium together? Give things a chance. Remember, you don’t have to do anything right now. Time is what will tell!

Thank you soooo much for taking the time out to give me advice on this non important post lol. I decided to write him this instead:

“Hey, i just want to let you know i am thinking about you and i do miss you, but right now i just need this time to myself. So if you call and i dont answer dont get upset or aggravated or frustrated”

And this was his response:

“That’s ok. Do what you need 2 do . I miss you 2 , SUPER BAD. Bye”

Now you dont have to be bothered by this crap anymore lol :P. Thank you again :)

Ohhhh . . . great message and response!

Best of luck to you both . . . you’re gonna be OK, I can see it!