Did you know him/ have any sort of relation w/ him before last Saturday?
You have to remember its a guy. Guys aren’t like girls, they are like OH we did something saturday, and have plans to hang out next weds, i’ll see her then then, and thast all there is to it. Or at least thats how i feel like men are.
Why haven’t you contacted him? Is that a bad sign?
Your old enough its an equal World .Why not contact him and say HI back to him.Find out what is bothering him…
He might just be shy. Or a jerk. Wait to see how he treats you on Wednesday.
rmrose wrote:
I wonder why a guy would not contact me after having kissed me and held me all over last saturday.
He’s probably thinking the same thing
Thanks all of you for you replies .
Actually he is a collegue at work, he started to give me extra attention a few months ago. We talked now and then and he passed by to see me at my desk now and then. He works on the other side of the building so we have to really pass by each other to see one another. After talking and talking he finaly called me up one day and I invited him over to have a chat. Nothing happened , then we saw each other again at work and we set a date for last saturday . Saturday something did happen , we kissed and held each other but did not have sex.When he left he said , see you on monday.
He came by on monday to say hi for a couple of minutes, I send him a thank you sms with a kiss which he preplied the day after . Then I went to see him at his office. In between he worked 4 nights. On wednesday we are supposed to have one shift together..so we haven’t really made plans. Since I made the last move I feel like it’s up to him…I do not want to force myself into his life.
I would like him to take action .
I’ve been alone for 8 months, his wife has left only about two months ago after a year of trouble.
That is how it really is..
Well, he might be a little skittish about relationships right now. Guys have all kinds of anxiety about whether and when to call a woman after a date anyway, and he is probably even more rejection-sensitized than most men. Don’t take it as a bad sign. He doesn’t know you want him to contact you unless you tell him.
Also, don’t think that he is somehow “responsible” for making the next move. Relationships are not tennis matches — you don’t have to take turns. Trying to play a game like that is only going to make your relationships stressful for you and the guys. If you want to talk to this man, talk to him. If he seems uncomfortable with it, ask him if he would prefer to go slower. Don’t try to guess what he wants or make him guess what you want — just talk about it. It really works better.
Thank you tjwoods, I am a bit careful cause I had my heart broken in my last relationship , my ex kept on pushing me away..that’s why I am a bit afraid to make too many moves towards him .
You are right, guessing doesn’t help any of us. I will talk to him on wednesday when I will (hopefully ) see him at work or ask him if he wants to see me again.
Maybe I worry too much..It is better to see this from a guy’s point of view sometimes.
Thank you !!
I understand — we all carry our past scars around with us, and it really affects our reflexes. The key is to recognize when we are reacting to something from the past and give ourselves time to process that reaction. Then we are free to decide what is best for us in the present.
Good luck! I hope Wednesday works out well for you!
Thank you again, it takes time to heal from a broken heart and its consequences.
I will talk about oi and post the answers here.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas !!
SuperEggplan wrote:
Did you know him/ have any sort of relation w/ him before last Saturday?
See above..a couple of months via work. We just talked but there was a tension there ..I felt an attraction towards him and he towards me (as he said saturday)
I didn’t see him on wednesday but left a message on his phone. He called back and we will have a talk about it soon. It seems like he’s still emotionally involved with his wife..which is normal.
I feel better now cause at least we still talk and will see what the future brings.
It’s so hard to finally step out of a relationship after years..I can’t blame him for loving a person he was married to for 6 years.
It sounds like things are moving along in an good direction now. Keep those lines of communication open and you will have less worry and fewer surprises.
It does take a long time for a person to process a separation from someone who was that close to them for that long. Even when a person is sure that it is the right decision, the sense of loss and the disruption of daily life can take a year or more to really process. There are always moments in the first year when they think things like “Well, I always used to go skiing with her in the winter, what do I do this year?”, or “We always used to do X for Easter, what do I do this year?”, or even “She used to handle all of the spring cleaning, how do I know what to do now?”. It can be frustrating to hear about an ex repeatedly, but if you let him know that it is okay for him to talk these things out when he experiences them it will help him deal with the stress of change.
I hope everything works out well for you two. Let us know if we can help at all, and have a happy New Year!
Thank you so much for the reply Tjwoods. It does take a very long time indeed to let go of someone emotionally .
In this case it looks like he is willing to give it another try with his wife..which I understand cause I’ve been there myself:I had lots of trouble letting go of my ex boyfriend and tried over and over again without result.
That’s why I think it won’t work out for them anymore..which is sad for them but maybe better in the end for both of them.
I will give him time and be a friend , I will see what happens later on.
He said he didn’t know what to say to me..he doesn’t want to fool around with me either. I don’t know if I should see that as s good sign, I guess so.
I can’t hold up my life cause of his not knowing so I wil just live on and see what happens between them (and us maybe).
Thanks again for your wise words !
Enjoy these last days of the year !!
Untill now he hasn’t called me to chat about it……It’s been almost a month ..Guess he won’t anymore…
I wonder how I could have been so mistaken about a college.
I was really mistaken……..
I feel bad when he shows up cause he hasn’t called me to even talk about what happend. I asked him to chat about it ..he said he’d call me …7 weeks ago……
A real jerk as it turns out…..
Even when carefull and serious we can still run into poeple who tak eadvantage of us..
Feel bad about it even though ‘nothing happened’ as he said when I tried to bring it up…
He was either shy or just using u. You’ll have 2 c how he acts around u on Wednesday.
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