friends help: I need some major help on arguing with my friend.

*heather*

I need some major help on arguing with my friend.

He always wins! I feel like a complete dumby too (most people mistake me for smart actually). He twists my words sometimes, and he gets very testy about things. And if I have any point at all he gets upset, then challenges me some more in ways he might not be able to answer. Like the other day we were arguing about reasons our teacher doesn’t have a better method of teaching, and he said she just doesn’t care. I thought I’d be nice and stand up for her, then I ended up listing ten reasons that aren’t so bad she might have for her difficult manner of teaching. Then he just said I repeated like half of them. It’s like he delights in proving he’s smarter than me! We argue a lot, but we try to stay out of it because we have really been upset before. He tends to get mean, and sometimes even personal. (And by the way, he really is a great friend, we just have very different opinions on things). He’s argued with my mother once, and she’s the best arguer there is, but he actually scored a few points! Agh, please, any good tips or help would be much appreciated.

This open post was written 4 years, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 1,349, 9, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post *heather* may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. *heather* is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 7 months and has 6 posts and 54 replies to their name.

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arguing, friends, Family (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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jleec 3 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

the best way is to just be indifferent and not give a **** if he’s right. dont give in, just dont care.

Help me with: i need help, i have an addiction to help.com

*heather* 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (10 minutes after post)

Thank you, but I’ve tried that for a long time now. Most of the time after a long argument I just say something like, “Whatever” or “Remind me why I argue?”.

Help me with: I don’t know how to talk to a guy that I really need to get to know.

Wolves_of_Passion 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (29 minutes after post)

ask him what hes trying to prove to everyone

Help me with: The best things in life are free.

*heather* 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (35 minutes after post)

Thanks, I don’t think I’ve tried that, but I will. The only thing is, he can PMS worse than any girl I know. Sometimes it’s like walking on very thin ice for no reason. Although we’ve been friends for years, for reasons I won’t mention we’ve agreed to talk only on email. This is alright with me for the most part, but it’s very difficult to get tone across through writing emails. I’m not sure, but he must mistake what I say for being mean, because he gets snappy, then when I say sorry and try to explain what I meant he accuses me of lying. I’m not sure what his problem is. Bipolar or family issues maybe? Boys…..

Help me with: I don’t know how to talk to a guy that I really need to get to know.

wilsonianobjective 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (37 minutes after post)

There are many books about how to argue effectively. You can start with wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument…

Wolves_of_Passion 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (37 minutes after post)

people who are bipolar are very easy to irritate and sometimes it seems they get upset for no reason. I don’t know tons of info abut bipolar disorder, but I know they can go from being extremely happy to extremely angry or sad at the drop of a hat. Its possible, but maybe its just his personality idk honestly.

Help me with: The best things in life are free.

*heather* 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (39 minutes after post)

Yeah, I’ve sort of just accepted it as his personality, but sometimes I wonder if he’s okay. Thanks for the link wilsonianobjective.

Help me with: I don’t know how to talk to a guy that I really need to get to know.

Flipsyde 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 5 months ago (54 minutes after post)

He sounds like a very difficult person to be friends with. Are you his only friend ? I’d be surprised if he is popular with an righteous attitude like that. If you are unable to chat with him without him dragging you into a dead end debate, there’s not much point really.

schwartzc 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 9 months ago (1 year, 7 months after post)

i totally get what your saying. i know a guy exactly like that, and we do the same thing. the best things i’ve ever done in an argument with him was win. but, if that’s not an option,then:
1. try to think about what you’re going to say before you say it. pretty obvious, i know, but try it out. it’ll keep you from saying something dumb, like, “george bush is a TOTAL feminist!” (i used that one.) plus, if you thing about what you’re going to say beforehand, you might just find a place to put in a big word or two to make your argument sound more convincing.
2. sigh deeply and shake your head back and forth a couple of times. act like he just doesn’t get it (it’s REALLY intimidating!).
3. if he likes to argue about certain things (my guy and i usually argue about politics), then make sure you’re knowledgeable before engaging in an argument (google is awesome.). don’t walk into battle without a sword in your hand (wow, that sounded a lot less dorky in my head.)!

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I need some major help on arguing with my friend.

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