Relationships help: Im doing it again… - Help.com

Skyy, no one can make you happy!
Being happy comes from within, you will only be dissapointed if you are expecting others to make you happy. I beleive you need to start giving yourself some attention and love. When you love yourself and are happy with yourself you will see you will attract the same.

What in the world r u talking about

You’re sabotaging your own happiness, again!

Did you not see my essay on happiness?

You have to learn to accept that you deserve to be happy!

So it has to do how you feel physically?

You at least know where your problems lies. And from that, you can do something about it. Stop eating when you feel depressed and maybe start working out or exercising! Energy begets energy and makes you feel better and more outgoing. You at least can pinpoint what your main issue is and you can start to tackle it and really do something about it.

Im pushing people away who i deeply care for. It never fails. Everytime i have a long break (ex. holiday break, summer break) i isolate myself from my friends.

You can accept that in yourself, rather than feel bad and try to change it — the reason this idea may have some merit is because if you’re pushing people away because of low self-esteem then you’ll do it even more if you feel more bad about yourself…like a spiralling downward cycle… . all of which you probably already understand, except that I speak confusingly. — my only recommendation, personally, is not try to change, but do give into the habits and impulses that get you what you want to be happy, don’t reject yourself just because you reject others.

hm.. just offering some words, maybe I’ll find better thoughts out there somewhere and come back.

I used to do the same thing, I still do. just learn how to trust. Open yourself up a little more, it worked for me. God bless and I know you can open up, its just hard

I’m just saying that certain ways of trying to change can prevent you from changing… like feeling bad about yourself for feeling bad about yourself will never lead to feeling better. But obviously you still go towards people a little bit, in a friendly fashion… you could put more energy into that if it is the solution.

Actually, I read your post and really could relate and identify with all those feelings (from times in my past), and the feeling I got was that a solution had to come from somewhere else, a different mindset, hence my idea of looking on the web for something.

You need more discipline. If you were more disciplined then I think you would nip it in the bud! But that can only come from you!

Do you have a daily, weekly, or monthly schedule for your activities, errands and what not?

You can put a schedule on your cell phone and reminders also! That’s how I use mine!

I even use my schedule in my schedule to remind myself not to get depressed!

I knew you needed discipline from all the stuff I have read about you! You seem to put everything on the wayside without really realizing how important some of that stuff is in your life schedule!

I try to make myself laugh when I feel depression coming on! That is why I am so silly, and some people find my silliness annoying! I don’t mind though. As long as I can make myself go and can actually keep on going with this life, it’s OK!

If I was you, I would start from today on. This moment on! When you feel depressions starting to creep up on you, read a joke or see a funny sitcom or movie! That’s what I do most of the time!

Start today!

You say your mom got depressed and did not give you and your brother the discipline that might have made you a better person now. Is that what you want to do for your children when they finally come into your life? It’s our job to make life easier for our children. Never forget that. It is our God given duty to do what we can so our children don’t end up like us. If anything they have to have it better than us. The road that was left behind by our parents, albeit full of potholes and obstacles, it is still a better road than the one they had as children. Now it’s our job to cover those potholes so our children don’t trip or fall in those potholes! Always keep that in mind! Never abandon the fight to be a better person all around! Don’t let the fire in your belly run out. That fire in our belly is what keeps most of us going and trying to get ahead and accomplish bigger and better things. Don’t let depression or negative thoughts cloud your own vision for a better future as a person and as a social community contributor. You have to give yourself the chance that other people don’t give you. You have to light your own dark road when everybody else takes the lights away from you!

*littlenick is happily crying, knowing that he helped skyy*

… it looks like something good is happening here, though I didn’t read the details :)

Sometimes when we are happy we wonder if we deserve that happiness. Most of the time we deserve to be happy! Sometimes we are happy at others’ expense. The funny part about that is that when we are happy at others’ expense it’s when we truly think we deserve to be happy and sometimes that is the wrong kind of happiness.

Yet, when we are truly happy because we have built that happiness to come our way, we still don’t believe it! We want to knock that happiness down with a sledgehammer if possible! You have to adjust your happiness to the moment. That means that you have learn to accept the good things that come your way that are truly good for you. You have to eliminate the negativity in your life.

We never feel deserving. It’s like when that man won the lottery a few years ago. 15 million dollars!. Now that’s a lot of money! But before he won it, he was broke and with no friends or family around him and he thought he deserved to be like that for the rest of his life. He felt so undeserving that he started giving it all away. All kinds of sycophants started coming out of the woodwork to help him dispose of the money. By the time he was through he was right where he was when he started before he won the lottery: broke and with no friends or family around him. He did not feel deserving of winning the lottery.

When good things happen to us and something bad comes along that happens to us we say, “I knew it. It was too good to be true.” And the kicker is that some people accept that. It’s the self-fulfilling proffessy. You want unhappiness to come your way and you wish for unhappy things to come your way, and “boom” they happen to you!

You must adjust yourself and rewind your clock so you only wish for happiness to grab you. THINK ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS YOU WANT, NOT ABOUT THE BAD THINGS YOU DON’T WANT! If you call good things to your life, good things will come to your life. You call happiness to come to you and it will come. Don’t think that you are undeserving of that happiness that shrouds you!

Come to terms with the fact that you deserve to be happy! Come to terms with the fact the people around you wish to see you happy! Why would you want to sabotage your happiness? There are people in this world who seem to have everything, money, love, fame, fortune, great friends, a perfect family who loves them, just about everything you could think of to be happy in this world. Are they happy? Probably. But, you know what they end up doing? They decide that they have to get high on illegal drugs or booze. They hook up with a prostitute because their wives are not enough for them. The women start having affairs, the children start running away from home and doing drugs, etc., etc., etc., They sabotage that happiness that shrouds them because they think it’s too much happiness and they don’t deserve it.

You must learn to separate your unhappiness from your happiness. Accept the fact that you are happy because you deserve to be happy and you brought that happiness to your life and it’s going to stay. Just say a prayer and thank God for your happiness. Sure, we are all going to have our bad days when nothing goes our way and maybe those days we should have stayed in bed. What if everybody did that? There would not be any people to run this world. There would not be anybody to show us how we can be truly happy!

When you start to think that you don’t deserve to be happy, put those thoughts aside and think. “This is my day and a wonderful day that it is in my wonderful life with wonderful people who love me and want me to be happy. Today is full of infinite possibilities and I am going to grab as many as I can. The possibilities I cannot reach today, I will try to reach tomorrow.” And the next day get up with that positive attitude again and face the new day. And do the same every day without fail. Soon you will realize that the happiness that you have and will continue having is there for you to take and keep on being happy!

Negative thoughts? Throw them out the window! Dispose of them like yesterday’s news. You keep on thinking all the positive thoughts and soon you won’t need any medicine or drugs to help keep you going. Accept the fact that you are a wonderful human being! Those around you want you to be happy but are unhappy when they see you unhappy. Show them that you can be positive in your thoughts and actions. God bless you!

This is my wish for you: Many prayers will come your way! May all the praises of the lord and his blessings be released upon you!

You hadn’t read that before?

I would make some affirmations every morning! Read the essay every day if you have to every morning day and night. Memorize it if you have to, but get out of that funk you’re in!

obviously you’re friends and potential more-than-friends ;), love you for your beauty on the inside and out. and those are the best kind of people to surround yourself with, not hide from! indulge yourself if these friendships and everything will fall into place.

Yeah No kidding I used to push everyone away. It was to the point where I would come home from school and stay in my room for the rest of the night. I still do it to my faince sometimes, I push him away, but after years of counseling and opening up I am a lot better

it’s a new year. let ur defenses down. loosen the control you’ve been constraining urself with. and just hug whoever it is. hold on tight and tell urself “this is safe”

I hope Skyy is happy :) That said…

Da-11 wrote:
My acount is still there; I just forgot the pasword and dont have the bookmark for it here at home :)

If you still have that email account they say they’ll send you a login link if you put in the email address without a password on the login page.

If you have those fashion magazines who feature scarry skinny persons, throw those out if they are sending you the messages that being skinny is the only way to be beautiful. Those magazines inject in our minds that beauty is physical. Being fit and healthy is a different story though.

Beauty emanates from within. That’s regardless of your weight or your looks. List down the postive things about yourself so that you can build your self-esteem. Let me start you off: I like you Skyy. I think you’re a smart person. I can tell from the pieces of advice you give in the posts we both visited.

Oh yeah. Stop comparing yourself to others. I think (I could be wrong) that maybe you compare yourself to others that why you “see” that you are ugly. You shouldn’t compare. There would always be better or worser persons than you so comparing yourselves to others would only make you bitter or vain.

It’s good that you have been trying solve the issues you are facing. I know that with a little more effort and discipline, you’ll be able to overcome it. You don’t need a miracle. You need perseverance. You don’t need a miracle because overcoming this is not impossible. You can do it. We can help you. I’m willing.

Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to be loved. Build bridges instead of walls.

Im gonna go ahead and say go with the hobby things. And also, love the people in your life while you can. You should tell them how much you love them and appreciate their support.

skyy wrote:
Yea im going to start volunteering tomorrow with animals which is something i wanted to do for a really long time. I cant wait actually :)

Wow. I’m happy for you. Volunteering for animals is worth your time. It’s a good cause. Congratulations on that. Have fun with the animals there.