Correct me if I’m wrong here…
…but it seems to me that my friend is rushing into an engagement WAY too fast. Here’s the situation as I have been led to believe.
Ok, so I have a friend who about six months ago started an online relationship with another guy. During that time the two fell deeply in love with each other and started spending a lot of time together, often getting my friend to ignore other people around him. My friend is also an artist, and much of his art at the time (and now) focuses on the guy.
Anyway, about a month ago this guy that my friend was dating ran into some money woes. My friend started a collection and saved up his own money in order to support his boyfriend, but it goes beyond that. Turns out that he was saving up for an airplane ticket so that his boyfriend could come over and LIVE in his country (I should mention that my friend lives in El Salvador and his boyfriend, until now, lived in the US).
So the boyfriend is now living in El Salvador with a friend of my friend’s and managed to get a job at a call center. On Christmas Eve, he proposed to my friend. He had been there less than two weeks.
I know both of these people well enough to know that they truly do love each other, but I truly believe they are taking things WAY too fast. This is the first time either person has met in real life. It doesn’t help that my friend is 21, is still in school, still lives with his parents, and has never held a job in his life, nor does it help that gay marriage isn’t even legal in El Salvador. I expressed my concerns to the both of these people yesterday, and today got about the response I respected (according to the boyfriend, I’m “ignorant” about the situation and should not volunteer unsolicited advice; my friend was pretty silent about the issue when I talked to him, but it’s clear he hasn’t rethought this). If I bring this up any further I’ll only create more tension between the three of us. Maybe I am ignorant about this? And if I’m not, how can I convince my friend about what he’s doing before he makes a huge mistake?
Any advice?
This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 116, 7, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post wolfsilverwolf may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. wolfsilverwolf is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 4 posts and 47 replies to their name.
Replies (7)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
The_Hooded_Wonder9
¡ʎuɐɟɟıʇ
Morally Ambiguous JD
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.