Fear of rejection is a very strong feeling. Rejection makes us ask ourselves what don’t they like about us or what wasn’t good enough for them. You need to realize the you’re jumping to conclusions here and just stop second guessing yourself. Ask him why he changed his mind about it, it might have been a time constraint or he is dealing with someone else and wasn’t comfortable with going out with you at the moment..
And by the way, I love your avatar, it’s so great..
barely wrote:
Fear of rejection is a very strong feeling. Rejection makes us ask ourselves what don’t they like about us or what wasn’t good enough for them. You need to realize the you’re jumping to conclusions here and just stop second guessing yourself. Ask him why he changed his mind about it, it might have been a time constraint or he is dealing with someone else and wasn’t comfortable with going out with you at the moment..
He told me he still cares for his ex and he’s hopin they get back together even tho they split nearly 2 yrs ago, she’s seein someone else and they dont really talk anymore. He hasnt dated anyone else since and he doesnt plan on it so i really need to get over these feelings.
barely wrote:
And by the way, I love your avatar, it’s so great..
Thanks!! :-D
At least he was honest with you up front, those are the ones you hate to miss out on because he treated you respectfully from the start. But.. just let him know you’re interested and drop it, you weren’t rejected he’s still in love with her and at this point you can’t even compete with those feeling..
barely wrote:
At least he was honest with you up front, those are the ones you hate to miss out on because he treated you respectfully from the start. But.. just let him know you’re interested and drop it, you weren’t rejected he’s still in love with her and at this point you can’t even compete with those feeling..
Yea i suppose but cos he’s so polite and kind, it makes me like him even more! I just cant see him gettin over her so the logical thing is for me to get over him.
Yes.. but you need to change your frame of reference here.. You aren’t the one that’s missing out on anything, he is. You’re free and available and he’s still living in the past, it’s really his loss here. Guys will always want what they can’t have over what’s readily available, do you understand that line??
barely wrote:
Yes.. but you need to change your frame of reference here.. You aren’t the one that’s missing out on anything, he is. You’re free and available and he’s still living in the past, it’s really his loss here. Guys will always want what they can’t have over what’s readily available, do you understand that line??
Yea I understand exactly what u mean but im not the sort of person who will play games and mess with people’s feelings. He knows how i feel about him and im fine with that. I dont feel embarrassed around him cos i think that if I was on the receiving end i would be really touched (i think it boosted his confidence) and we carry on as we were b4. It just really hurts.
Anonymous wrote:
FInd a new interest.
I can’t choose who I have feelings for tho.
I’m in total agreement with you, never view it as a game and no, you can’t choose who you have feeling for. I was just saying, he wants something he may never get again and until he realizes it and moves on he’ll always want what he can’t have..
barely wrote:
I’m in total agreement with you, never view it as a game and no, you can’t choose who you have feeling for. I was just saying, he wants something he may never get again and until he realizes it and moves on he’ll always want what he can’t have..
So technically i’m playin a game i’ve already lost. :-(
Not really.. just be yourself and stay in contact with him. But don’t be the one he runs to when he realizes he can’t have her again. You have to draw a line here with him to not be his ‘useful person’ when realization hits for him..
You can be his sounding board but nothing else, or you will get used and discarded in a wrong way…
dark_light wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
FInd a new interest.
I can’t choose who I have feelings for tho.
I mean u can channel that “love for him” into something else…an interest like play a new sports etc…it’ll take ur mind away.
You have to see both sides here, he may get over her, but then he may not.. how much time are you willing to spend on him and his growing up process??
TBH i have a lot goin on in my life atm and i dont wanna spend all my time focusin on him unless he’s gonna reciprocate my feelings. I dont know how long these feelings are gonna go on for but i’m hopin they’ll be gone in the next 4 to 6 months.
I’m always active. I’ve tried doin loadsa things - shoppin, hangin out with friends, watchin movies/tv, volunteer work, work and i dont really have time for another activity in my life. Whenever im doin anythin my thoughts always seem to return to him.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that but I think maybe you should think about moving on with your life and let him decide where his is going. If he doesn’t care about you or for you nothing you can say or do will change that at this point in time. Sorry, I know that sounds a bit cold..
I agree with u. I know I need to move on and focus on me. I just dont know how to kill these feelings.
You don’t, they will get easier for you over time though, sorry, not much help am I, lol..
But I don’t think you need to fear rejection..
lol its okay. I kinda figured that the only way to get over someone is time. However that ain’t goin so well for him. Im not afraid of rejection. I wud rather someone was honest with me than led me on. I just dont think i wud ask a guy out again cos that was the scariest thing i have ever done in my life.
Well, lol, never say never..
Good luck in whatever way it goes, see ya..
start thinking of his bad points or looking for them.I’ve done it my self and i really end up not being as attracted to them as I was.
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Another late reply sorry. Getting over someone is always tough. You have to realize that for everyone who turns you down, 100 more people are out there that would love to be with u. My advice would be keep on living your life, think of the reasons why you can get better, and what he’s missing out (besides you don’t want someone who is still thinking of another girl), and keep putting yourself out there. I feel your pain. Recently I was sucked into thinking this girl likes me, and 2 days after we hooked up she says i’m still into my boyfriend, and i don’t want a relationship, after giving me all the signs she did. Haven’t heard from her since, it pisses me off to no end, but that isn’t going to stop me from living my life and putting myself out there. I hope this helped.
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barely
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