You messed him about, to be honest he’d be a fool if he took you back after that. You could be friends maybe, but that stuff hurts. The way you treated him would likely have made him feel inferior and second best to your worthless ex. Nice going.
what is it with men? it sounds like your the one who needs sorting out. you have hurt this guy alot, so unless you showed any true feelings towards him, he has forgotten about you and moved on.
i personally think you should forget both men, and find someone new!
really you do can you vote for my answer then, just so i can finally have an answer marked lol
To be completely honest, it seems like you need to figure out what you really want first. It seems like you’re doing the same thing over again, but with a new guy. Don’t try to go to either of them. you’ll only end up hurting them or yourself again. Meet new people, new men, go have fun with your freinds. But don’t look for love. Let love come to you. Just look forward to being free and single for a while…
miss.cari, you said it best.
no i disagree, dont mark her answer :P, im right there. you see DoubleGin19 lol……..
DoubleGin, don’t fight it. It’s said and done that I said it better. The lovely linuxya seems to think so.
Anyway, it’s my pleasre to help.
I am in a smiliar position - only i am the new guy, well not really the “new” guy, but I was the new guy when it all started. You have broke this guys heart. And sounds like he has some self respect. Leave him alone to get on with his life, he will never want anything to do with you, time to face the harsh reality of your actions.
dont fight it? i was just about to get a marked answer then you come along lol……..
I’m not very good at relationships am I? I have seen some new people, but where never as nice or attractive. I don’t know why I can’t let the past rest, but it’s more guilt keeping it alive more then anything else… I do just wanna make friend more than anything else… or at least have a good talk with him.
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What is it with you?
You seem to be overlooking your actions. Read what you just wrote with an open mind. I think you need to solve this one yourself.
I don’t blame these boys. I wouldn’t say they’re “leaping to conclusions” either.
burntfles wrote:
I’m not very good at relationships am I? I have seen some new people, but where never as nice or attractive. I don’t know why I can’t let the past rest, but it’s more guilt keeping it alive more then anything else… I do just wanna make friend more than anything else… or at least have a good talk with him.
A good talk, maybe. Just don’t get any more involved. Apologize and let him know that you are truely sorry, but don’t look for a relationship with him. That would be a mistake, and again, you could hurt yourself.
Leave the poor guy alone. I’ve had women go crazy on me because I stopped wanting to interact with them. I think it was all about their own insecurity though. They didn’t like the idea there was someone out there who was rejecting them. But who cares what I think of them or what this guy thinks of you? START FRESH!
I agree with linuxya. You really should start fresh.
Oh the leaping to conclusions part was about someone else… or rather a few other people.
Anyway I’ve got a better idea. I’ll get them (his band I mean) to come to me - I’m friends with a heavy metal pub owner - they’ll e-mail the band to get them to play there. That way it doesn’t look like I’m trying, it’ll just look like coincident.
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Just leave him alone, you don’t deserve him.
But the fact is, It wouldnt be a coincidence.. and you would know it, making your guilt even worse. you’re trying to find ways to talk to him…dont..
Yeah most people think that I am worthless - I don’t deserve anything, it’s someone I learned over the years.
I suppose I wasn’t worth the attention of my mother either - but that’s another story.
I find you can’t be yourself - or rather you can’t be me - I have you wear a fake mask - as when I look happy, I so very sad inside. For a long time I was a social recluse, perhaps that is a way to return, never getting close to anyone. It was in a way simpler, but very lonely.
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burntfles wrote:
Yeah most people think that I am worthless - I don’t deserve anything, it’s someone I learned over the years.
I suppose I wasn’t worth the attention of my mother either - but that’s another story.
I find you can’t be yourself - or rather you can’t be me - I have you wear a fake mask - as when I look happy, I so very sad inside. For a long time I was a social recluse, perhaps that is a way to return, never getting close to anyone. It was in a way simpler, but very lonely.
okay, that things people here are saying are hurtful, but true and for the best. (excluding a couple that arent helpful but plain rude.) Everyone is sad once on a while, and everyone goes through hard times. but what you need to do is get it through that head of yours that you deserve someone for you. Dton listen to pleople who put you down, listen to the peoplewho help you, like friends. everyone deserves someone, and you’ll find that person. maybe not now, but eventually, if you learn to move on. Clear your head of everything you’ve heard people say about you that is negative and let it go. be a free, single, beautiful woman, and move on. the day you realize that is the day you will love yourself. and you will find someone…for you.
You can try as hard as you can and it amounts to nothing.
I was born to be left alone.
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burntfles wrote:
You can try as hard as you can and it amounts to nothing.I was born to be left alone.
Oh give it a rest. You make your own life. You jerked the guy around, find someone else and don’t make the same mistake again. Or you can wallow in self pity and waste your own time. But don’t expect anyone to sort your life out for you.
FormerHuman wrote:
burntfles wrote:
You can try as hard as you can and it amounts to nothing.I was born to be left alone.
Oh give it a rest. You make your own life. You jerked the guy around, find someone else and don’t make the same mistake again. Or you can wallow in self pity and waste your own time. But don’t expect anyone to sort your life out for you.
rude as it sounds, he has a point. no one is going to sort your life out for you… even at that, you shouldnt have that state of mind. you just make it worse and you start to believe it…
I’m being blunt, not rude. I don’t see how treating her with kid gloves will help. She needs to snap out of it.
yes, but she’s also here for help. to me, it comes off as rude, im sorry but it does.
Actually he had every opportunity to contact me also, then yells at me for not contacting him - so now I’m trying to contact him, the very same thing he told me off for not doing in the first place.
Anyway I’m a very loyal person and one of the restriction my ex placed down was to not speak to him or any of my relations or exs. I did exactly what he asked - but still get trashed.
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you need to forget him.. it doesnt matter if he contacts you or you contact him! forget him altogether…
I don’t want to be alone…
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He’s putting restrictions on who you can talk to? What the hell! No one has the right to make demands of who you can and can’t see, especially not your ex. The guy sounds like a pr!****, and someone you’d be better off without.
Sometimes it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t respect you. Respect yourself first.
You’re completely missing the point. You’ve got a hole inside you. You can’t fill that with someone else. You feel rejected and unloved. Chasing after these guys won’t resolve that for you.
You need to find your own self-worth. Then men will be attracted to you. Stop chasing men. Start working on yourself. Exercise, socialize, develop your social skills, develop your self-assurance.
You are broken. Time to get to work on fixing yourself.
I have been shattered by circumstances in my own past. I had to get myself back together before I was ready to have any kind of relationship. It took plenty of work but it was worth it. I attracted the right kind of woman.
FormerHuman wrote:
He’s putting restrictions on who you can talk to? What the hell! No one has the right to make demands of who you can and can’t see, especially not your ex. The guy sounds like a pr!****, and someone you’d be better off without.
Sometimes it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t respect you. Respect yourself first.
i completely agree…
linuxya wrote:
You’re completely missing the point. You’ve got a hole inside you. You can’t fill that with someone else. You feel rejected and unloved. Chasing after these guys won’t resolve that for you.
i also agree
I actually rather just be friends… I’ve some very good male friends, but they are a few in a million… I do find that most men see you as a slab of meat and even if you give in to them or not, they’ll still get rid of you.
Plus I’m fed up with double expectations - woman are whores if they slept with even half as many people as men.
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Some guys are like that but not all of us are. And yeah, double standards suck, but I’m not sure what to suggest about that.
As for your ex though, no friend would treat someone like that. You’d be best off without someone like that altogether. You belong to nobody, so nobody has the right to make demands of you, and certainly no one that has your interests at heart would ever attempt to either.
you keep thinking about him because the mind has nothing to do sometimes
and naturally gravitates to pleasant memories.
If this guy is the one you need not do anything.
Its automatic, your soul already knows who your soul mate is.
He will turn up.
You know, you define yourself with your generalizations. If you generalize men to be a certain way, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to see the individuality in each man. Until you are able to do that, you are not ready for a relationship. You are always waiting to be hurt by the generalization and the very actions you take to avoid being hurt (being suspicious, waiting for him to fail, testing him) are the ones that will probably cause him to lose interest/cheat/walk away.
Time to grow emotionally. Focus on being the best person you can be and stop wasting energy criticizing other people (or yourself).
FormerHuman
vladislav.re
cari
linuxya
Robert.Ree
burntfles
Gnaia
spiratec9