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My boyfriend is prejudiced (verging on racist) should i leave him?
I have been dating my partner for a while now. We get on amazingly well with eachother, we understand how the other thinks and we share so many things in common: he is a researcher working on projects in Africa, and I am a doctor working for an intergovermental organisation. We both are passionate about development issues and social justice and it’s amazing to have someone share the same goals with. There is one major problem, I am Nigerian (although I’ve lived all my life in the UK) he was raised in western europe and has never been around black people (apart from the time he spends on missions to Africa). He has some very prejudiced views about black people: he once joked that all black women are after money (which i was very offended by - I earn more than him and my family is very wealthy, so It seemed such a ridiculous thing to say). He is also ashamed to introduce me to his parents, because he said his mother will run sceraming from the room, as she’s “not used to blacks”. He was extremely reluctant to introduce me to his friends, and when I did eventually meet them he made a big hoo haa of explaining to them that he started talking to me over the internet (as i was reviewing one of his papers) and he had no idea I was “different” meaning black until we met, and by which time he already really liked me. When I told him how hurt I was by his remark, he was really ashamed of himself and thoroughly apologetic, the irony of the whole situation is that he is incredibly liberal and will be the first to complain to others if he thinks they are being prejudiced. I know that I should forgive him his prejudices, after all they are merely other people’s thoughts that he has assimilated for himself - had he grown up in different circumstances maybe he wouldn’t have such views. But my patience and forgiveness is starting to wear thin. If we have children and he is ashamed of them or makes ridiculous comments about their race, I would find this unforgivable, so maybe I am just wasting my time here? In every other regaard he is absolutely perfect, he is my soul mate - how can I get passed his prejudice?
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