If you don’t like blood, don’t read.
Well, if you haven’t read any of my posts, let me tell you something. I cut my legs, have trichotillomania, a lousy father, and mean friends. Also, depression and anti-social anxiety.
I just kind of want to get this out, because of course, I can’t tell anyone else. The other night, I brought to my room a small cup of water, three sheets of paper towels, and my beloved razor (I usually keep it in my wallet, in case my parents search my room). So, I began cutting, and I felt pretty weird…I could barely feel the cuts, and I was mad at myself for not cutting deeper, there wasn’t enough blood. Pretty soon, as you can imagine, the blood was really flowing. I loved that.
Anyways, it was going really fast, so I had to try to stop it, but I had used up the paper towels, and running into the bathroom for a towel wasn’t gonna happen (I was dripping a lot), so I used my white blanket. It wasn’t stopping, but I was okay with that, as odd as it sounds. I got up and tried to sort of…scoop up the blood with the razor, so that it might stop, stupid move I know..Anyways, the end result was that the razor was wet, sticky, and warm, and my fingers looked like I had murdered someone, my leg was gushing blood by then, and the floor was covered. I have wooden floors, so I dropped the bloody razor into the shallow cup of water, and tried to clean up the blood on the floor.
Eventually, I had to run to the bathroom and get in the tub. I turned on the water, and let my blood just…go. After a couple of minutes, I was pretty much nodding off in the tub, but I woke up with a start, knowing I had to clean everything up before someone saw the mess. I got out of the water, my bleeding slowing down, but the water was bright pink, and it kind of stained the tub. It took a while to clean that out. Then I had to clean the floor while trying to control my leg flow. Finally, I rolled up my blanket in a big ball. I got another blanket out, and put on two supersized bandaids, and went to sleep.
The End. I hope you just loved my horrifying story. Probably gonna do the same thing tonight, only more water, and a towel. =]
****** up, right?
This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 363, 16, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post dyingtobethin1 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. dyingtobethin1 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 22 posts and 69 replies to their name.
Replies (16)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
HelpBot
If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!
Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.
Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.
bob
kt5157
1
#
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)
bookworm16
little.blue3
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.