Thought help: Why I’m a mess…

gypsy-corner

Why I’m a mess…

Everyone tells me that I’m a good person then why can’t I see that about myself. Why for every positve thing that they say can I come up with 10 different reasons that they are wrong about me. I know I’m not happy and have a lot goin on right now. Ive talked with a therapis and am on medication. Nothing is helping. I try and talk with people about this but they don’t understand how it feels to be in this kinda of state. There are only a few people that I talk to that do understand. Its hard to go through by yourself and as much as everyone says I’m not…..I still am. At the end of the night when my computer is off….i’m still alone. When I am with my friends and family I have to put the mask back on as to not upset anyone. They look at me like I’m a deformed freak and don’t want to hear what I have to say when I try and ask them for help. All I really want is for someone to say it will be ok and actually give a darn. I don’t want to hurt anyone and for those I all ready did I”m sorry that was not my intension. I’m tired of lying about how happy I am…I try to be happy but in the end its always the same

This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 249, 16, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post gypsy-corner may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. gypsy-corner is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 239 posts and 1,049 replies to their name.

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depression, scared, Thought (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (16)

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HelpBot 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
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gypsy-corner invited 16 users to read this post 10 months, 3 weeks ago.

Help me with: Nothing seems to matter.

indiediskochick 8 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

you might have depression alot of ppl do you should really call the suicide life line thousands of teenagers die ever year and suicides are a big role. dont let it be you.

Help me with: if i nap will i get fat?

gypsy-corner 45 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

yeah i’ve been getting treated for depression for awhile my theapris thinks I might be bipoar soo who knows idk….I’ve called the hotline before I dont think i’m at that point just yet tho really

Help me with: Nothing seems to matter.

indiediskochick 8 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

well im glad you seeked help most aren’t that bright. being bipolar is scary but well good care you’ll be good. i wish you best.

Help me with: if i nap will i get fat?

angel♥ 36 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

awwwh hun im sorry.
have you talked to robb about it? like does he know everything? cause im sure he cares a lot…
and i care too. and i know its hard over the computer but im not gonna give up on you! youll always have me to talk to

Help me with: Hey everyone!

Animal i have become 9 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

hey gypsy im here for ya
whats going on?

Help me with: …

Bogdan (Gone) 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 49 minutes after post)

I totally understand where you are coming from. I will never ever see you as a freak, for I too wear a mask.

Hang in there, we are here for you.

Help me with: Ranty Poetic Nonsense

DoubleGin19 88 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (12 hours, 14 minutes after post)

hey Gypsy :)…….

dont worry about it. you never hurt me. i was just honest with you. i am sorry if it complicates things. but i think you know i like talking to you :)……

the truth on here is pretty amazing. and im sure most people feel the same way you do. otherwise we wouldnt be on help :P…….

i still want to be your friend. and i still hope we can talk. but i understand if you dont want to……..

anyway take care and be well…..

from a friend

-Matthew

Help me with: Darts.

gypsy-corner 45 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

angel♥ wrote:
awwwh hun im sorry.
have you talked to robb about it? like does he know everything? cause im sure he cares a lot…
and i care too. and i know its hard over the computer but im not gonna give up on you! youll always have me to talk to

Thanks hun! That means a lot to me….yeah I’ve talked to Robb about it…not everything but idk really whats wrong with me, ya know? Thanks tho! :)

Help me with: Nothing seems to matter.

gypsy-corner 45 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

Just Stop wrote:
hey gypsy im here for ya
whats going on?

thanks but I’m really not sure…thanks for replying tho:)

Bogdan wrote:
I totally understand where you are coming from. I will never ever see you as a freak, for I too wear a mask.

Hang in there, we are here for you.

Thanks:)

DoubleGin19 wrote:
hey Gypsy :)…….

dont worry about it. you never hurt me. i was just honest with you. i am sorry if it complicates things. but i think you know i like talking to you :)……

the truth on here is pretty amazing. and im sure most people feel the same way you do. otherwise we wouldnt be on help :P…….

i still want to be your friend. and i still hope we can talk. but i understand if you dont want to……..

anyway take care and be well…..

from a friend

-Matthew

no, its not you….this wasn’t even aimed at you….its funny how the people that this is aimed at will never know it…idk thanks and you are a great friend i’m sorry for makin you think this was about you….not so much! :P Take it easy and feel better!!!!

Help me with: Nothing seems to matter.

DoubleGin19 88 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

no its cool :)…
its just when i said what i said and went off line. you sent this like 5 minutes later lol. then when i came back online. it was exactly 12 hours later. so i just thought part of it was aimed at me.

anyway be well and safe. and sort your Sh*t out! talk to someone at least, and get it off your chest!

well take care….

-Matthew

Help me with: Darts.

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (2 days, 2 hours after post)

You are NOT a mess. you are in a time of transition of your life. you are looking for help in the area you feel it difficult for you to control. Bipolar is very liveable, my mother and my daughter has this and they are okay. they make life fun. they are also very creative. life is not meant to be all smiles and happiness if it was we would call it heaven.

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

nextstar 3 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (6 days, 9 hours after post)

I have a friend who is suffering from the same reason as yours , she went to art therapy center & they recommended her to take dancing classes , take antidepressant pills & paint . she took the pills for only 2 months . We all notice that she started to be more open & happier than before .

I’m not saying that you should do the same as she did but i think that art therapy is could help , so why don’t you try it ?

Help me with: Vanishing !

gypsy-corner 45 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (6 days, 17 hours after post)

nextstar wrote:
I have a friend who is suffering from the same reason as yours , she went to art therapy center & they recommended her to take dancing classes , take antidepressant pills & paint . she took the pills for only 2 months . We all notice that she started to be more open & happier than before .

I’m not saying that you should do the same as she did but i think that art therapy is could help , so why don’t you try it ?

yeah i guess your right a hobby would probably do me good…thanks I might give that a try!! :D

Help me with: Nothing seems to matter.

numqua #
An Unknown Location | 10 months ago (2 weeks, 2 days after post)

It seems like you’ve identified the problem and that means you’ve set up a conscious flag of what the source of your problem is. It’s true, ones thoughts and feelings are connected at a very intricate level. The reason you’re mind isn’t accepting people’s positive feedback is because it doesn’t except it as a rational statement. For instance if I said you’re going to fall through the floor your brain instantly denounces the validity of my statement. Right now your brain is on automatic pilot, and what this means is that you can’t rely on other people to convince yourself otherwise, you need to go behind the scenes (Like James Bond!) and defuse the situation yourself.

Perhaps talk to your therapist about cognitive behavioral therapy. Some positive things that I can immediately suggest for now would be to remind yourself what you have faced in the past, things other people would not be able to face, remind yourself who you are and what potential happiness awaits you, etc. etc.

Also a positive thing to do is to try to catch everyone of your automatic negative thoughts - like you have been doing. There should be around 250 a day if you’re experiencing physical symptoms. Refuting these thoughts is best left in a discussion with your therapist.

For now I wish you luck, the SSRI’s typically have a 4-12 week regiment before they alter brain uptake neurotransmission, so give it time! :D

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