friend help: Good Friend, Bad Friend, Me?

beaumoon80

Good Friend, Bad Friend, Me?

A big problem of mine is that I sometimes tend to find faults in people that somehow make me believe that they are not a good friend to me.

Awhile ago I was very commited to this friend of mine who I let walk over me several times and I would always “forgive her”. Then finally one day I said F it, and refused to let her convince me that we are “best friends”.

So basically when I’m out doing my thing and people try to “make friends” with me. My mind starts going in circles, and I begin to pick out all the bad things that I don’t like about these people and stuff they could possibly to do hurt me . I ussually just don’t say anything, sit there and continue to think these “mistrustful” thoughts. Ofcourse that makes everything awkward and gets what could be a good friendship off to a bad start…or nothing at all.

I have a few friends/aqquantices that I have known for years and still can not seem to trust them. My best friend is my boyfriend and event that seems to be going down the drain because I’m always picking out the things that bug me most about him.

What makes a person a good friend? What makes a person a bad friend? How do I get past this mistrust towards people so that I am able to make some good friends? How do I be a good friend?

This open post was written 10 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 866, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post beaumoon80 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. beaumoon80 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 12 posts and 85 replies to their name.

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beaumoon80 edited this post 10 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Good Friend? Bad Friend? Me??

A big problem of mine is that I sometimes tend to find faults in people that somehow make me believe that they are not a good friend to me.

Awhile ago I was very commited to this friend of mine who I let walk over me several times and I would always “forgive her”. Then finally one day I said F it, and refused to let her convince me that we are “best friends”.

So basically when I’m out doing my thing and people try to “make friends” with me. My mind starts going in circles, and I begin to pick out all the bad things that I don’t like about these people and stuff they could possibly to do hurt me . I ussually just don’t say anything, sit there and continue to think these “mistrustful” thoughts. Ofcourse that makes everything awkward and gets what could be a good friendship off to a bad start…or nothing at all.

I have a few friends/aqquantices that I have known for years and still can not seem to trust them. My best friend is my boyfriend and event that seems to be going down the drain because I’m always picking out the things that bug me most about him.

What makes a person a good friend? What makes a person a bad friend? How do I get past this mistrust towards people so that I am able to make some good friends? How do I be a good friend?

beaumoon80 edited this post 10 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Good Friend?Bad Friend?Me??

A big problem of mine is that I sometimes tend to find faults in people that somehow make me believe that they are not a good friend to me.

Awhile ago I was very commited to this friend of mine who I let walk over me several times and I would always “forgive her”. Then finally one day I said F it, and refused to let her convince me that we are “best friends”.

So basically when I’m out doing my thing and people try to “make friends” with me. My mind starts going in circles, and I begin to pick out all the bad things that I don’t like about these people and stuff they could possibly to do hurt me . I ussually just don’t say anything, sit there and continue to think these “mistrustful” thoughts. Ofcourse that makes everything awkward and gets what could be a good friendship off to a bad start…or nothing at all.

I have a few friends/aqquantices that I have known for years and still can not seem to trust them. My best friend is my boyfriend and event that seems to be going down the drain because I’m always picking out the things that bug me most about him.

What makes a person a good friend? What makes a person a bad friend? How do I get past this mistrust towards people so that I am able to make some good friends? How do I be a good friend?

Victoria Sponge 5 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)

To me a good friend is someone that comes round or calls when she knows I am down, remembers my birthday and wishes me luck for job interviews, you have to understand they have their own lives too so sometimes they may cancel plans but as a good friend you understand, a good friend laughs and cry’s with you will feel awful on the odd occasion that they let you down but they make up for it.
You have to remember that friends are human too and they might make mistakes sometimes but as long as they are there for the really omportant things thats all that matters

Help me with: Great words of advice

emile #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (6 hours, 39 minutes after post)

I tend to focus on the negative too. I think people like us need to make an extra effort to see the positive and to remind ourselves that people can be good friends even if they’re not perfect. Cause you’re right that when we expect too much of people it’s not a good thing - and not fair to them.

Sometimes I have to write down a list of good things to pull me out of a negative-thinking swamp. Could you try that? Pick a friend and make a list of all the things you like about them and the most recent friendly things they did for/with you.

This account has been deactivated.

sachieng5 0 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 4 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

A big problem mine is sometime think and stress,how help me please

beaumoon80 1 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 4 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

Yes I do know that everyone has their own lives, as well do I.

I was just getting “stepped on” by that one friend, and thought it was normal. Which made me second guess EVERYTHING.

I’m better off now that we are not friends. I have other friends and have started to trust them, and ofcourse accept them for who they are.

Yes everyone is not perfect, but sometimes there is a line that gets crossed when their mistakes are too often. It makes it hard to be friends, when they will not accept their mistakes and admit they are wrong atleast once in awhile. There were just too many lies that got in the way of our friendship.

She was a good friend to the point if I called her she would be there for me. As I would still do the same, as long as shes not preaching me ********. I’ve had enough of that. Its just too fake for me!

I guess my point is that I understand now what makes a good friend! :) Thank you for your responses! They have helped!

sachieng5, what do you think and stress about? In those moments I tell myself to breathe and relax. A couple questions to ask yourself in those moments is: Whats going to happen if I stress about this? Is this worth stressing about? I also think about some quotes or sayings that calm me down, such as, Bless those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed. Some things are just not as big of issues as they may seem at the time.

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