depression help: Im so unhappy with my life. - Help.com

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Do you have a job? Is there any reason you can’t go to college after all? Lots of people start late at college, careers or family. I didn’t get married until I was in my thirties.

There’s nothing wrong with taking anti-depressants, but if you have no medical insurance you’ll find that they’re seriously *censored* expensive.

My advice would be to try something new. What kinds of things do you like? Nerdy? Sports? For instance, I usually play in (nerdy) Magic the Gathering tournaments every Friday night. Almost all hobby shops that sell magic cards have them. The people are generally very friendly, and usually LOVE teaching newcomers how to play.

Incidentally, it’s also not too late for you to go to college. I didn’t graduate until I was 30!!!!! You have plenty of time, if that’s something you’d like to try. Taking classes can also give you a feeling of “purpose.”

At any rate, back to the antidepressants. If you feel like you need a boost (without paying out the nose for the doctor & pills,) head to the local grocery store’s tea section. Get something with ****. John’s Wort in it - or something that says meditative or stress relieving. My personal favorite is yogi tea, but I like tazo as well.

Good luck to you, Friend.

elvinmachiner wrote:
or you could always find your local weed dealer and s0moke a fatty;)

From my experience that only helps for about two hours and you end up more apathetic than ever.

elvinmachiner wrote:
sounds like you need to find some better weed

Back when I smoked it was much better than today. It won’t help give the poster a sense of purpose. You free to do what you want but that advice won’t help the poster.

I do have friends, and they all care. They give me advice, but nothing clicks in my head. I value there opinion, and take it to heart, but for some reason it doesnt matter. I just dont find joy anymore. I do have a job, but its only $7.25 so that just makes me even feel worse. I no this sounds like a whine fest, but I dont no what to do? I want to change, but I dont no how? How are you suppose to no what you want to do with your life, when nothing is an interest? Thank you for the advice, I greatly appreciate it!

All I want out of life is to be happy. I think thats what everyone wants, but at the same time its the hardest thing to capture. I have interests, such as movies, music, reading, hanging with friends, and they bring me joy. But theres still a hole in my heart. There’s not a career that stands out to me? Thats why I never went to college. And whats frustrating is that of the millions of careers that are out there, none of them excite me. Am I the only one? If I had a interest I would pursue it like everyone else, but there isnt one. And thats what kills me.

Meh, weed is an escape for people that don’t know any better.

If brando (Marlon Brando/Jimmy Dean?) wanted to use that, he wouldn’t need to come here for advice.

None of it (antidepressants, herbal tea, or weed) is a particularly good long term cure - but one of the above isn’t legal.

it really sounds like you are deeply depressed..Maybe it would help you to completely change your environment- move to some new beautiful place - I’m sure you could find another job there. You need to do something - maybe something radical to break the stagnation. also you could try to think about the times when you were younger, a kid maybe, did you have some dreams back then, some things you really wanted to do then but couldnt? Maybe you could do them now. I believe that deep in yourself you know the next step. Sometimes our dreams (I mean literally - when we sleep) can give us some clues.
Wish you all the best!

Again im new to this site, but I wanted to thank everyone who took time out to read my rant, and write back. I will try to change, and hopefully things will turn out better. Thank you all again!

Let us know how things go. I don’t know much about this site, but I think there’s a private message function. You can post in this thread (it sends me a notification) if you need anyone to talk to, or private message me.

Good wishes

Jen

I’m in a very similar situation except I’m turning 30 and am a college graduate. I think it’s the specter of turning 30 and having nothing in my personal and professional life all crashing down on me at the same time. All week I’ve felt like there is just emptiness in my heart and I can no longer go on. I don’t think anyone would really miss me if I were to disappear. I feel like my career is going nowhere and I wish to turn the clock back 8 years and start over. I had the girl of my dreams throughout high school and college but let her go (neither of us had any closure) to move back with my parents when I graduated. Now she is happily married with an amazing career and I’m left wondering “what if.” I don’t think I can ever find anyone like her again: someone so kind, beautiful, funny and calming to be around. Meeting her was like a chance in 100 million, and no matter how many relationships I’ve had since, I’ll never get over her.

Another tragedy is I still live with parents after all these years even when I have a six-figure salary. I hate my job and spend all day pacing around my office stressed out of my mind. And since I’m stuck at the top of a small company, my career advancement opportunities are low.

My only passions are also movies and music.

I’m so stressed and depressed that I’m sleeping at around 4am and waking up at 6am. I’m finding more grey hair every day and my heart feels like it’s about to bust out of my chest. One minute I feel like I’m about to puke and the next minute about to cry. This has been going on for over a week. I can’t think straight at work or home and am a total wreck. My face looks like it’s aged a year in a week. There seems to be no light at the end of this tunnel.

Count your blessings, was the first thing that popped into my head. I graduated from college at 29 and was admitted to graduate school. It has taken me 2 semesters to realize that a research Masters in Biology is not what I want to do. I am getting ready to move back into my mom’s house at the end of this semester.

The only thing I have that is into 6 figures is my school loans and other debts.

There’s only one way to find someone. You have to do the hardest thing in the world. You have to look. Because you’re hung up on someone else, it’s even harder than normal. I’ve been there. (The actual hardest thing is going on a date and NOT talking about the perfect person you can never get back. And the date WILL hate it.)

Anyways, I have the specter of turning 31 hanging over my head.. Ever feel like you’ve got as much stress as any given president, with the number of gray hairs that pop up unexpected? I just lately discovered that I can’t pull all-nighters anymore. Instead of messing me up for about 14 hours, it screws me up now for about a week. (Also, when you get past 30 you tend to ramble.)

Anyways, I wish you the best of luck. I also recommend that if you continue to feel this way, go to see someone about it.

Oh, and what sucks the most about feeling like that is the number of people that are willing to offer you platitudes instead of decent advice and empathy. Have you heard things like “God never gives you more than you can handle?” or “There are more fish in the sea?” Ignore them. Especially when you want to smack the person saying it in the mouth.

Feel free to private message me for more of my unique and somewhat pessimistic point of view. I can also be encouraging.

But, like i said.. I’ve been there. An excellent SHORT TERM fix for these feelings is anti-depressants. Especially for the part about feeling like nobody would miss you if you disappeared. (Most people aren’t talking about starting a new life in a 3rd world country when they say that.)

At any rate, as I look at the clock I wonder why I’m still up after 3am. Incidentally, don’t be afraid to head to Wal-mart and pick up a medication called “Simply Sleep” if you’re having problems sleeping. It’s non habit forming, and sometimes the most important thing to start making yourself feel better is getting some sleep. (Sometimes, you just get depressed and sleep all the time and you need to do the exact opposite. It just depends on the particular flavor of depression.)

On that note, good night. Like I said, private message me or post again, let me know how things are going.

Embrai,

It’s good to have someone empathize with my situation.

I know that someone as unique as her will never reappear in my life. It’s too ridiculous to think of the circumstances that led to our meeting in high school and the chance encounter at the same college. Especially given we were total opposite personalities. I was the quiet type and usually attracted other quiet types but she was the outgoing energetic type. Spending time with her was like listening to a great melody, I was giddy every second to be around her. Never did we have an argument over anything, most times were spent laughing at each other’s stupid jokes. It honestly felt like fate put us together, but when my parents forced their hand to make me move back, out of spite, I told her I will talk to her again in 10 years, she cried and said that was too long. I was too distressed at the time to think rationally and not be a punk. Yes, I am blaming myself and my parents. I graduated in 3 years when I should’ve found a summer internship and went another year. Again, if I could turn back the clock.

I found her picture on Facebook last week and seeing her so happy on a beach smiling so honestly and infectiously for someone else destroyed me. What’s worse, she is a VP in a huge company in an industry I’m trying to break into. The only way for me to even begin at the bottom would be to go back and get a top MBA. Knowing that I won’t be able to even start at the bottom until I’m 34 when my colleges will be over 10 years younger than I is also distressing and fills me with a sense of worthlessness.

I took a sleeping pill yesterday but will lay off the anti-depressants. My dad was hooked on Xanax for years and lived like a zombie, he’s been off it for a year and still getting withdrawal symptoms. I’m studying for professional exams and am working on a congressional campaign so couldn’t have much a social life these days even if I tried. I’ve been just sitting in my bed playing my acoustic and singing Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah crying every night, sometimes I feel like the notes from the guitar are the only things that are keeping me hopeful about life, I’m just a mess.

Also, playing A Simple Twist of Fate, You’re a Big Girl Now and If You See Her Say Hello by Bob Dylan tears me up in bed.

Here’s a question for you.. did you ever apologize to her?

Because as I read your last message, it struck me that you could break into that industry at the bottom.. or if you two are on good terms you could ask her for help.

As far as antidepressants go, there are (way) less powerful ones than xanax that a person should be started out on. Low doses of prozac, wellbutrin, and a bunch of others are beneficial without changing your basic personality.

I forgot to bring sleeping pills back to the dorm with me this week. As a result, this reply is coming at nearly 5AM.

The only way this is going to get any better is for you to move on with your life. (Honestly, I think the working on a congressional campaign is pretty cool - Republican or Democrat? I promise I won’t judge based on the answer :)

The only way to move on with your life is to find a focus. ATM, I play everquest (played wow and lineage in the past.) Now, I’m not telling you to go on these games and get a girl (although there are girls, I’m one of them,) but if you get into one and join a guild, it can give you a sense of belonging - with a bunch of people that accept you because of who you are. (I’m not saying you need people to ignore your looks and go for your personality, I dunno what you look like - but I’m assuming you’re a friendly, shy, introspective and introverted sorta guy. If I’m wrong, slap me verbally when you reply.)

What’s your degree in?

~Jennifer

No, I’m an ******* (but introspective *******…). In real life, you tend to build a shield and put on a different facade, but yeah, I’m pretty shy. Okay, based on your advice, I connected with her linkedin account and made first contact in 8 years. She responded but basically told me not to enter the industry and be lucky I’m not collecting unemployment checks. (I don’t know quite what to make of that comment.) I guess she is in a different place now, much more aggressive and straight forward than before. Hopefully, this gives me some type of closure. I just hate the fact that I have to start another career at the bottom as I’ve always been the person to be ahead of the curve, now everyone I know is way ahead and have had much better training.

My degree was in econ. I’m doing democ but that’s as much as I’ll reveal =) And a lot of state senators and city councilman are crooks—just an observation.

Sorry, I don’t play any games at all other than fantasy sports with friends.

Can’t you tell it’s midday and I’m in non-depressed mode? Just wait until after 9 pm, it’ll all come back.

-Jeff

Here was my letter to her:

I swear if I stayed in Berkeley, I would’ve proposed to you, my
problem was I didn’t think your mom thought I was deserving. When I
tried to call you during the last year, she would never transfer the
phone to you. The truth is you were always my dream girl, when I
told my coworker about you I mentioned seeing you for the first time
in high school was like listening to a beautiful melody for the first
time, even though I never heard it before, I know I loved it the first
moment I heard it. I was seriously giddy everytime I was around you.
I mean I would wait literally 10 years just to see you for 10 minutes.
I’ve since been learning to play Debussy on the keyboards and playing
Arabesque reminds me of you. My female coworker told me I was a silly
boy for leaving you. That’s why I want to reconnect once again to
break any bad air between us. I still want to be your 2nd best friend
if possible. I read how Aaron Spelling never got over his first wife,
I just feel like I’ll never get over you and you’ll always have a
place in my heart. It’s the truth. My heart has been empty ever
since that last day I saw you, so I’ve tried to erase those feelings
over the years by not doing the things we did together because it
would only remind me of you. I was afraid of flying when we were
together so I went and learned to skydive for instance.

So I admit it’s kind of heart-breaking to hear you are engaged, but
I’ll live another day knowing that you are happy at last. I hope he
treats you better than I ever would. I’ll go cry in a corner now.
Please listen to the song “You’re a Big Girl Now” by Bob Dylan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXbdZ… That’s my song to you. If
there is ever any trouble, you know, like you have a baby and it’s
raining one night and you need to knock on my door, the door to my
heart will always be open for you. Even if that never happens, I want
to see you again sometimes, just let me know and I’ll fly over the
same day no questions asked. No, I want to see you again before your
wedding.

I’m sorry for what I put you through with the dentist. I was so upset
that you allowed him to kiss you it sort of destroyed me inside at the
time. You are seriously making me tear up with regret. I will always
love you as a person, nothing can change that.

I’ll try to crawl myself out of the hole I’m in and learn to live life
by your standards. Your voice still lives inside of my head. This is
crazy, I’m crying so hard right now everyone is looking at me.

You’ll have to forgive me for the lack of replies, I went to see a friend of mine out of state for the week and weekend, so I don’t have much time. Still here, just really busy :)

I’m still not getting over her. Even though she is completely different and no longer as innocent and naive, she still sounds like her and is such a beautiful spirit. I’ve been dreaming about her every night, but she is engaged to a great guy now. They’ve been together for 4 years and purchased a $1.5 million dollar home in 2007, he has 3 other properties in SF. They are having 3 wedding banquets in 3 countries and the real wedding here next year. I remember she used to cut out wedding magazines and made a scrapbook, obviously she is getting her dream now. She is also considering having kids one day. The thought of her with another guy doing all the family stuff I envisioned for us to do is heartbreaking even after all these years. I still want to be her best friend but I know that’s impossible now.

I realized now too that I wanted to switch careers because of her. I really have a good thing going with my current company. I am now thinking about getting an MBA and coming back to take our company to the next level. I also asked my boss’s daughter out as she just had a breakup, but that didn’t quite work out. I mean I started working at the company when she was still in middle school. So I think I need to get out and just meet my ms right, I need to be patient and open my heart. One day I’ll meet that person…hopefully.