marriage problems help: My Husband and I met August 13, 2006.

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My Husband and I met August 13, 2006.

From that day, we have been iseperable. 4 months after we met, we got married. For about a year, things were great. But then, I really don’t know how it started but…he just doesn’t seem to care about me anymore. He does and says things that really hurt me. And I’m not the type to be hurt easily but…he’s my Husband…and he SHOULD care so…it hurts worse. He hasn’t hit me but he has left bruises, he’s almost broken my neck and jaw, he’s kicked me, and pushed me over things. I try so hard to get him to realize how much he hurts me…emotionally, mentally, AND physically. I always ask him…in every fight…what do I do or say to you that makes me deserving of the way you treat me…and he tells me: “You make me this way. If you would’t complain all the time, I wouldn’t be this bad”. But, no matter what I say…I can’t make him understand that…the reason for my complaining…is because of him…because I won’t just take him hurting me when I don’t deserve it. So I stick up for myself. I know in my heart that I’m a good Wife. I dedicate myself to making his life as comfortable as possible. But I’m very analitical. I analyze our marriage and relationship all the time looking for more things that I could do or different ways I could go about things. So when I begin to talk to him, he gets IRATE because he says: “You have a answer for everything”. And I say: “That’s because, instead of getting pissed off, I think about the situation…it’s effects on us…and the solution. He doesn’t think. He just blows up. 0-60 in no time. He hates confrontation and conversations about our relationship and how to fix it. He threatens divorce all the time and makes fun of me for crying because it hurts so much. When I come to him, upset, with a small problem I’m having with him…he tells me anything to get me to shut up and move on…instead of fixing the problem while it’s still small. Then, apparently, he just pretends it never happened. Becaus when I bring it up, in hopes to talk about it like adults…he swears I’m making it up or lying or over-reacting. I always ask him why doesn’t my feelings mean anything to him. Why does he not care when I’m hurt…especially when it’s by him. I try to explain why I’m slowly withdrawing myself from him…as in…it’s so traumatizing to hear your Husband tell you how much he loves you…then turns around and hurts you…without giving a sh**…then…in the same breath almost…he tells me how much he loves me again. But, for some reason, he just doesn’t seem to understand…or care. He promises me he’ll get help but never does. I don’t know what to do. He makes me feel so worthless. I hate myself and want to die. I can’t take being hurt by the one person I love more than anything on this earth…especially when he doesn’t even care that his Wife is devistated by our unhappy marriage. I have no where to go and no one to talk to. All I have is him. I’m unemployed because of a minor juvenile offense. And me having bad credit because of marrying him, I can’t even get a loan to get out. I’m stuck living this way. But I love him so much and my heart breaks because he makes me feel so unloved and unwanted…unless when he wants something from me…or when I’m “tollerable” to him.
When times are good, they’re the most wonderful. I’m so happy when he loves me. When he takes the time to make me feel it. But now, when those times come…I’m so scared to let myself be truly happy…because I know how bad things can get like a drop of a hat. I don’t want your opinion of my Husband to be all bad. He is a good man. He just has anger problems. And denial, apparently. But he completes me. We are the EXACT same…inside and out. No, he doesn’t look like me…but our habbits are the EXACT same, our tastes, our views, etc. That’s what made us fall in love with each other 2 years ago. I know things can be good…because I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. And I just refuse to believe or accept that he doesn’t love me. I know he does. He’s made a mistake by marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons before (she was pregnant) so why would he do it again? Am I crazy? Am I just an overbearing Wife? Please help. I need someone to talk to.

-Mrs. Wemitt

This open post was written 10 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 155, 11, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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marriage problems, anger problems, Depression and self-loathing (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Bigg Boss Is Dead 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

just relax…. first of all if he do not want to talk to you about the things that hurt u, dont talk to him about the things that hurt u for afew dayz….

second make him feelthat he has given u all happiness in life and u are very happy…..

u r very veryhappy bec of him……

Help me with: Is anybody having a project/software in any of the following language

I want out 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

You got married very quickly after meeting, You may have not known him for the way he realy is.

Help me with: Letting go of your past!

Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

anonymous wrote:
He hasn’t hit me but he has left bruises, he’s almost broken my neck and jaw, he’s kicked me, and pushed me over things

Are u joking ? He hasn’t hit you but he’s kicked you and almost broke your neck, yet your still with this person ? Do you need a neon flashing light ? lol

anonymous wrote:
he tells me: “You make me this way. If you would’t complain all the time, I wouldn’t be this bad”

These are the words of a man who can not except responsibility. He finds it easier to blame someone else for the lack of control he has over his temper. You don’t make him this way, he makes himself this way, and won’t accept the fact that he has anger management issues, let alone get help.

anonymous wrote:
I can’t make him understand that…the reason for my complaining…is because of him

I don’t know your situation, so whether or not your complaining is because of him or some other reason, I have no idea, but if you are so unhappy that you need to continuously complain, wouldn’t it be easier just to leave ?

anonymous wrote:
He hates confrontation and conversations about our relationship and how to fix it

“He” may not think there’s a problem. Men and women see things completely opposite at times.

anonymous wrote:
And me having bad credit because of marrying him

You don’t have bad credit because of him. You have bad credit because you made bad choices as a couple.

anonymous wrote:
But I love him so much

If so, then you really have to start accepting him, faults and all. If the things that you are unhappy about are small issues that are not really a big deal, try letting it slide rather than creating an extra issue that you don’t need.

Do you worry excessively about things ?

I want out 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

He is an abuser, wou need to get away

Help me with: Letting go of your past!

MrsWemit 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (38 minutes after post)

Our problems used to be small…but he refuses to actually deal with them before they buld up. And I’m a very easy-going person, I don’t complain about anything except the way h treats me. And I hav bad credit because I married him…and he has bad credit because of his X-wife’s irresponsibility. Plus, the divorce makes your credit worse. I didn’t have ANY credit before I married him. And he knows there’s a problem. Or else he’s really stupid because it’s obvious that I’m unhappy. He just doesn’t want to take reponsibilty for his action…he’d rather blame me instead. I do everything I can for him. I cook, clean, have his clothes laid out for work everyday, I’m at his every beck and call…because I want to show him I appreciate him for getting up everyday and working to provide for me. Just because he abuses me doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate him. I do everything he asks of me…and all I want in return is to be treated the way I treat him…not to the extent I treat him tho…I’m old fashioned and I feel he should be taken care of as any Wife should.
I just want to be treated decently. I don’t want him to treat me like a princess…just a person.

Anonymous edited this post 10 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

My Husband and I met August 13, 2006. From that day, we have been iseperable. 4 months after we met, we got married. For about a year, things were great. But then, I really don’t know how it started but…he just doesn’t seem to care about me anymore. He does and says things that really hurt me. And I’m not the type to be hurt easily but…he’s my Husband…and he SHOULD care so…it hurts worse. He hasn’t hit me but he has left bruises, he’s almost broken my neck and jaw, he’s kicked me, and pushed me over things. I try so hard to get him to realize how much he hurts me…emotionally, mentally, AND physically. I always ask him…in every fight…what do I do or say to you that makes me deserving of the way you treat me…and he tells me: “You make me this way. If you would’t complain all the time, I wouldn’t be this bad”. But, no matter what I say…I can’t make him understand that…the reason for my complaining…is because of him…because I won’t just take him hurting me when I don’t deserve it. So I stick up for myself. I know in my heart that I’m a good Wife. I dedicate myself to making his life as comfortable as possible. But I’m very analitical. I analyze our marriage and relationship all the time looking for more things that I could do or different ways I could go about things. So when I begin to talk to him, he gets IRATE because he says: “You have a answer for everything”. And I say: “That’s because, instead of getting pissed off, I think about the situation…it’s effects on us…and the solution. He doesn’t think. He just blows up. 0-60 in no time. He hates confrontation and conversations about our relationship and how to fix it. He threatens divorce all the time and makes fun of me for crying because it hurts so much. When I come to him, upset, with a small problem I’m having with him…he tells me anything to get me to shut up and move on…instead of fixing the problem while it’s still small. Then, apparently, he just pretends it never happened. Becaus when I bring it up, in hopes to talk about it like adults…he swears I’m making it up or lying or over-reacting. I always ask him why doesn’t my feelings mean anything to him. Why does he not care when I’m hurt…especially when it’s by him. I try to explain why I’m slowly withdrawing myself from him…as in…it’s so traumatizing to hear your Husband tell you how much he loves you…then turns around and hurts you…without giving a sh**…then…in the same breath almost…he tells me how much he loves me again. But, for some reason, he just doesn’t seem to understand…or care. He promises me he’ll get help but never does. I don’t know what to do. He makes me feel so worthless. I hate myself and want to die. I can’t take being hurt by the one person I love more than anything on this earth…especially when he doesn’t even care that his Wife is devistated by our unhappy marriage. I have no where to go and no one to talk to. All I have is him. I’m unemployed because of a minor juvenile offense. And me having bad credit because of marrying him, I can’t even get a loan to get out. I’m stuck living this way. But I love him so much and my heart breaks because he makes me feel so unloved and unwanted…unless when he wants something from me…or when I’m “tollerable” to him.
When times are good, they’re the most wonderful. I’m so happy when he loves me. When he takes the time to make me feel it. But now, when those times come…I’m so scared to let myself be truly happy…because I know how bad things can get like a drop of a hat. I don’t want your opinion of my Husband to be all bad. He is a good man. He just has anger problems. And denial, apparently. But he completes me. We are the EXACT same…inside and out. No, he doesn’t look like me…but our habbits are the EXACT same, our tastes, our views, etc. That’s what made us fall in love with each other 2 years ago. I know things can be good…because I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. And I just refuse to believe or accept that he doesn’t love me. I know he does. He’s made a mistake by marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons before (she was pregnant) so why would he do it again? Am I crazy? Am I just an overbearing Wife? Please help. I need someone to talk to.

DoubleGin19 53 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Aaaaagh anonymous, i’ll give you a hug :)…….
my favourite part was, he blows up! just picture that next time your hurting.

you may love him, but this man sounds like hes just using you. and you sound like a really nice woman to know. and you sound like an amazing wife to me. your loving and caring, take care of him and love him. what more can a guy ask for, that a woman with a nice heart!……

i dont really have any advice for you. for i am to young, to really know anything.
i just thought i would give you my opinion :)…..

anyway have a nice day and take care

-DoubleGin (smiley face)

Help me with: Darts.

Time Traveller 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

If you want to live with this guy you need to stop analyzing and trying to talk like adults. He can’t handle it and that’s one of the problems. Solving problems is not that simple for a lot of people. They can’t just change, they are embarrassed about their failings and even if they try really hard they can’t switch gears. He’s into hitting you now and has a lot of negative feelings towards you. That’s his weakness but it is really dangerous and difficult to live with someone who does that and it really may not change no matter what you do because that is his habit and he seem to me to be okay with it. I think you should break up, just for safety and security.

Help me with: How depressed are you on a scale of one to ten with ten being almost dead and one being haveing a smile on your face presently.

Matt in England 52 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 9 minutes after post)

if he’s abusive to you, would you want him abusive to your kids?

I completely agree with freelance supergirl, he’s an abuser, and you need to get away from him. There are plenty of girls who keep forgiving the abuser, but trust me, don’t waste your time and energy on him.

Help me with: Is there anyone who lives in Western Australia who put can a roof over my head for a couple of weeks?

Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 36 minutes after post)

Do you live US or UK?

Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 50 minutes after post)

I’m really sorry, but you’re a victim of Domestic Violence.
If you keep trying to deal with this alone, the violence will just keep escalating. He needs to realise he has a problem (and it is his problem)or you need to leave this relationship before something irrevocable happens!

Think of it this way, if you had a friend, family member or daughter that this was happening to, what would you advise them?

Here are some links.

If you live in the US
http://www.dvguide.com/

If you live in the UK
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

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My Husband and I met August 13, 2006.

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