I need help on my clinginess.

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I need help on my clinginess.

I’m sure most of you will assume that I am referring to clinginess as in “I can’t stop being around my boyfriend.” Well, you’re wrong. I really mean that I am just too dependent on other people and I need better coping skills to teach myself out of this habit.

The thing is, I was a somewhat sheltered child where I never got to make any of my own decisions. I was told what to do and was expected to do it. Now, at 17, I am expected to know how to run my own life and I don’t have a clue about what I’m doing! I’m scared.

Along with my bad past, I have suffered from clinical depression since elementary school. The thing with that is, my parents didn’t have a clue until late last year when a friend informed our teacher about my problem with self-injury. In doing so, I became somewhat “attached” to this teacher. I would stay afterschool all the time just to hang out with her, but I knew I was getting on her nerves. I have been doing better with that, but the urge is still there! Plus, ever since I “moved on” from her, other people have started to take her place (As she took the place of several other people before her).

I do understand that part of my problem is from how I was raised and the other part could be from the depression, but I want (so desperately) to get out of this style I have been trapped in for years and years. Really, it is for everyone’s sake, not just mine.

This open post was written 10 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 163, 10, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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khyron32 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

Okay so you are a needy kind of girl. Well then if you want to ween yourself off of needing people why don’t you start by going camping. Go all alone. It will force you to do things on your own and to get over needing someone around you. You will have to set up your own camp site. Get all the necessary fire wood everyday. Keep the fire going, cook your own food, etc… You will also have time to realize that you are more than capable of being independent.

fatbo #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

Well at least you realize you’re clingy, do something so crazy that it breaks that mold, run away to another state or go wild, another country and stay in youth hostiles and learn to be self sufficient. Keep moving around so much you can’t become attatched to anyone.

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hannahx12 3 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (9 minutes after post)

just like fatbo said go and do something eratic, supersticious, crazy, wild, weird-but fun, stupid?….
antway u get the point.
just go out and dont think about needing anyone with u nothing should be on yrr mind ohh u can also go out and have a beer or drink… wait forgot yrr seventeen not twentyone, sry.
welll good luck!

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poeismyho 1 #
Raleigh, NC, US | 10 months, 1 week ago (9 minutes after post)

Those are both awesome ideas, if I were someone willing to do those! The camping, I could handle, but I would NEVER be allowed to do that. The wholemoving around thing…I’m still in school and my parents would freak!

Thanks for tryin’ though :)

Help me with: Anyone know about head pain?

khyron32 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (13 minutes after post)

well if you can’t camp then try to find something around your home town that you can do all by yourself. The most important thing is to find something that you can do independently of others. It will help you learn not to be clingy.

ScarofLo18 18 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

I had the same problem. It seems like anyone who seems to care catches your attention immediately and you need them to help you with everything because it gives you comfort to know someone cares. Right? What I did was I started to confide in my friends. Instead of telling all of my problems or ideas to one person, I would tell one person something then tell another friend about another problem. That way I would start hanging out with different people and I would stop relying on one person. I hope this helps!

Help me with: Sometimes I wonder.

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poeismyho 1 #
Raleigh, NC, US | 10 months, 1 week ago (10 hours, 42 minutes after post)

ScarofLo18 wrote:
I had the same problem. It seems like anyone who seems to care catches your attention immediately and you need them to help you with everything because it gives you comfort to know someone cares. Right? What I did was I started to confide in my friends. Instead of telling all of my problems or ideas to one person, I would tell one person something then tell another friend about another problem. That way I would start hanging out with different people and I would stop relying on one person. I hope this helps!

Thanks, this is something I could totally do. Plus, it makes sense!

Help me with: Anyone know about head pain?

ScarofLo18 18 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (12 hours, 18 minutes after post)

Glad I could help! :)

Help me with: Sometimes I wonder.

rizzer #
An Unknown Location | 10 months ago (3 days, 19 hours after post)

It’s not just girls/women that suffer from clinginess, i’ve had it pretty bad for the past few months with a new friend of mine. before we met i was really independent (worked out 4 or 5 days a week, hung out with different friends 4 days a week, studied a lot and was on the honor roll *still am but to a lesser GPA*, was very happy with myself and confident) and this attracts people to you. then when we started getting a little more serious in the relationship and i started giving too much loyalty and devotion to her in places i really shouldnt have. (like giving up my free time/friends so she wouldnt worry) then i became dependent on her because of this. and then i became miserable and crazy trying to figure out what was wrong with me… let me make something clear to you about friends- friendship, relationships, and marriage are NOT the same thing. we cannot let our lives become about any one person until we are married, then it becomes about the both of us together as a whole. do not assign any expectations to your friends that are your lifelines…count on yourself for your lifelines. this includes moral support. feeling low? watch your favorite tv show or dance around your house/room/apartment or go for a walk around the city. love yourself. people wont want you if you are all about them, because then you have nothing to offer. bring yourself to the table, and carry with you the belief that you are a lot. which is the truth no matter who you are once you find it.

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I need help on my clinginess. - Help.com