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he knows what he is doing is wrong, says he wants help….has been to detox. I believe he can’t stop because of the physical addiction.
he has financially broken me, and mentally broken me. I don’t know how to cope any longer
we have discussed rehab a few times, he says he is willing to go then backs out. I told him the other day if he didn’t quit, I would go before the courts and have them send him to rehab. I meant every word I said, it is just so hard……..I don’t know how mothers make it through……….
That is a hard one because though you will always see him/her as a child 23 is pretty much an adult. He/she has to live their own life. I would have a long talk with my boy if I was you and try to find out what has driven him to this. If I could fix the problem or help point my boy in the right direction I would also.
I am sorry, but there is nothing you can do. I was a drug addict from the time i was thirteen to 19. My parents tried inpatient, out patient, therapy, rehab, bording school. The one thing that probable killed them, but saved my life is that everytime i came to them wanting to change my life and get sober they supported me. No matter what the cost to them. It took me two years from the time I realized i had a problem to quit. I am twenty-one now, two years sober. The reason i quit was because i became pregnant and had a son. Even now I worry about falling back into addiction. He is the only one who can realize he has a problem and find a reason to quit. On the other hand my mother is an addict of 10 years and won’t admit it. I don’t mean to sound negative, i am just trying to lay out the facts for you so you have an understanding about addiction. You forcing him to go to rehab most likely won’t help. When my parents forced me to go into rehab i felt abandoned and alone. Once i came out of rehab I spiriled much deeper into my drug addiction than before. It is a good step that he knows he has a problem, but he is the only one who can help himself. The biggest thing that you need to know is his drug addiction is not your fault and you cannot fix it. You can refuse to enable or support the addiction, but either way his sobriety remains in his hands.
I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. I also have a 23 year old son who was very seriously addicted to drugs. If addiction runs in either your or your husband’s family, your son probably has inherited an addiction gene. He is fighting genetics. My advice to you is to NEVER give up on helping him, loving him, and trying anyway you can think of to be there for him. Never stop talking to him and telling him how much you love, but also how much he is hurting you, and himself. Personally, I feel rehab doesn’t work. The people who say it does, would have stopped on their own anyway.Always let him know you support him and he has a place in your home. Your son may come around. It just may take some time. Even though you may feel like you are at the end of your rope, try to be strong. Good luck to you and your son. My prayer are with you.
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