Family help: I’m adopted and have a great relationship with my biological - Help.com

You have to explain to her that you and her have a normal mother daughter relationship and it’s easier to talk with your real mom because she isn’t like your mom she’s more like a friend.

Well maybe talk to your adoupted mom about some problems. I think she might feel left out because you take your problems to someone else.

talk to her and ask her how she feels and then tell her how you feel in return. i understand where you are coming from but i understand where your mother is coming from also. she raised you and you run to your bio mom with your problems. that hurts i’m sure. you must have something in common. movies, tv shows, shopping, something.

do u make time for your mother? or just your bio mother? how much contact do u have with each?

did you move closer to ypur biological mom on purpose?

well…..that seems kind of convenient. no wonder your mom feels like ****.

Us poor mam’s get a rough deal at times… But that is what we are here for… To love, advise and support our children…. However that does not mean we will agree with you all the time, and we will have times when we disagree with things you are doing and there are plenty of times when we realise that sometimes we have to do the hardest thing and step back to watch you make your mistakes and just be there when you need to be put back together. I think your mam is finding it really difficult to stand back and watch you possibly get hurt and i am sure she will see things in your relationship with your biological mam that you don’t…Trust me… Your mam knows she is your mam but that doesn’t stop her being a bit jealous of your relationship with your biological mam and a little bit worried you may get hurt…. Take the time to say i love you every now and again… Just because you do and not because you feel she wants reassurance… The best I love you’s are the unexpected ones.

I am an adoptive mom with a 20-year-old daughter we adopted through open adoption. It sounds like your real mom is feeling insecure. We had lots of counseling before placement to help us understand the biological mom’s feelings and the adoptee’s feelings towards her biological mom. One thing I often tell people is if you can love more than one child, then one child can love more than one mom. Love has no limit, so if you love one person it doesn’t mean you’re unable to love someone else. And, quite frankly, the more people we love, the better the world we live in. As an adoptive mom I’ve always understood my daughter would want to know more about her birth mother. But you need to reassure your real mom and perhaps not talk about your birth mother too much when you visit home. Focus on your mom and time with her but if you have issues or feelings with your birth mom that you can share with your real mom or she might be able to help you with, perhaps you could share those with her, all the while assuring her that you know who your real mom is.