Tell me about it. Sounds like you are in one of your down moods. What wrong honey?
Nick, really, im not down-much, just a little
Are your family supportive and do you see a lot of them?
alibear wrote:
Are your family supportive and do you see a lot of them?
No, not much support at all.and we dont see each other much
Well, you need to get them to support you a little, honey. Don’t be by yourself dealing with this.
littlenick invited 17 users to read this post 10 months, 1 week ago.
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i dont talk to my family,sisters and brother,all else are dead .the only support i get is from on the net and since i havent been helping others latley i have not been getting any motivation or anything
You don’t have to help others for us to come and talk to you and help you. You know, I will try to help you and talk to you when I’m on. As impersonal as the internet is, it is where I find my best support system sometimes.
Aaaaaaagh you silly sausage. are you alright felicity? here have a hug (((HUGS)))
felicity your an amazing woman. who i have become fond of very much. im sorry you dont fell needed, but you help a lot of people on here. even if that doesnt take away the hurt, of reality, on here, your amazing……
dont think just because you have these disabilities you are limited to a life of seclusion, and alone ness. for you have a great mind, full of learning and smart ness. also you have a great heart, which is full of love.
i hope you dont feel like this for to long, my hairy friend…..take care,
-Matthew
DoubleGin19 wrote:
Aaaaaaagh you silly sausage. are you alright felicity? here have a hug (((HUGS)))felicity your an amazing woman. who i have become fond of very much. im sorry you dont fell needed, but you help a lot of people on here. even if that doesnt take away the hurt, of reality, on here, your amazing……dont think just because you have these disabilities you are limited to a life of seclusion, and alone ness. for you have a great mind, full of learning and smart ness. also you have a great heart, which is full of love. i hope you dont feel like this for to long, my hairy friend…..take care,-Matthew
Thank you but I have felt like this for a very long time
im sorry felicity, i never knew……
and although you might feel like this, just try and remember your a very nice person, who is very lovely to talk to. and one day, you will find mr.right again. and he will be a lucky guy, to have your love :)……..
Doublegin19 your words are wise and beautiful
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thank you gog08 :)….
people dont really say that about me. but thanks.
although it is sad to see a friend, feeling so bad. she is a wonderful woman, who has always been nice to me….
littlenick wrote:
Well, you need to get them to support you a little, honey. Don’t be by yourself dealing with this.
my brother never acknowledged me,my older sister ,well, tahts complicated and my other sister has many issues and all dont know what support really means.so I chose not to have them in my life many years ago.
Please know that there are people who care about you. Its hard, but try and step out of the inner turmoil and thought. Depression is a monster that takes some beating. Try and visual your negative emotions as something you can fight as instead of somthing that engulfs your whole demenor
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scrap6 wrote:
Try and visual your negative emotions as something you can fight as instead of somthing that engulfs your whole demenor
Couldn’t have said it myself, even if I had tried!
Depression is a horrific and lonely place to be. But most people are stronger than they think and when you come out the other side its almost impossible to understand how you were previously thinking. Its a crazy horrible maze of emotion. They seem to be many people who are stuck in a similar spot.
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but im not really depressed it has become a way of life for me and B4 i was ok with it but not anymore, now i hate my life
Felicity invited 38 users to read this post 10 months, 1 week ago.
Your not the only one….and the future is the one we make by our actions…
our dreams tell us what actions, but only our actions make them come true…
Its hard to know what to tell you hon, Im not sure how much you can do with your limitations. Are you able to work at all ? Could you do something in the area of volunteer work ? helping others often gives us a satisfaction and thought that we are doing something worthwhile, that in itself can be a motivator. Whatever you try to do , be aware that this is for you, this isn’t for anyone else and if you don’t heave yourself up and take action, there is probably no one that will do it for you.
Many times we find ourselves in the proverbial”rut” we sit around and think about it, then we feel positive then next thing we know that positive feeling has gone and we are filling our brains with the negative thinking. We make every excuse why we cant do it, when what we should be doing is saying I can do it! and Im **** well going to do it, if we dont stay on the track of positive then we are doomed to our life in a “rut”.
The trick I think is finding something you enjoy, and something that makes you forefilled and happy. As you know if you are happy with what you do, it gives you more determination to go on with life, its nice to have a goal, something to aim for, how about going back to school and learning something ? It could be something as simple as a cookery course, or something that interests you. It would also give you that goal and a social outlet at the same time.
I always find things start to look better come the spring and summer, winter is a gloomy old time where we sit indoors and let ourselves ponder the down side of things, when the sun shines, we feel more apt to take the reins and actually do something.
This went on a bit didnt it ? lol, anyway hope this helps a little bit,
Hugs ))))))) Sash x
I know you said you are out of the bad depression, but it sounds like the depression is still there. I see it in your words. You are feeling hopeless, helpless, and unmotivated. It sounds like the depression. You may be better then you were a few weeks ago, but I do not think you are out of the woods yet.
The meds have helped you, now YOU have to get in there and get back control of your thoughts. I know it is easer said then done. I am in the process of doing it myself. I am already starting to feel more positive and today has been the first good day I have had.
Focus on the things you are thankful you have,the skills and gifts that you have. What are those skills and gifts? How can you use them to make your life better? Dream big and start small. Picture yourself in the life you want and figure out what are the baby steps you need to take to get there.
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Kim you’ve been listening to the wrong voice.
You have so many friends here. It must renew your spirit to put out a call for support and come back to see such loving responses.
I think you have dreams of a life that includes financial success, fame, and good health. I understand that desire because I dream that dream, myself. I fill my days with volunteer work and keep trying to create beautiful artwork. Some days I succeed and some days I retreat into a quiet place to rest. I doubt that I will ever be rich or famous. The ship to the world of good health sailed a long time ago for me. However, I have a warm place to sleep, enough food, and I can still type a stroke or two. Many would gladly trade places with me.
Kim, those of us who come here to help.com have found a way to be important in the lives of others. You know you have touched the lives of many by giving advice and comfort here. While we may not have achieved all our goals, we are accomplishing good work and that is reason enough to celebrate the dawn of another day. Who knows, fame and fortune may be just around the corner.
a big thanks and HUgs to all of you,I will take it all into consideration
Hello Felicity - how you rolling today?
One thing that jumped out at me from your post was the difference between whet you wanted, and what the books want.
You want to be a writer and a partner yeah?
And then you say your not sure if you can be someone “of power and influence”. Not saying you can’t, or that you wont end up being that, but I don’t think you have any motivation for it thats all.
You want to be a writer - do it! You write a lot here already, in what direction would you like to grow and develope as a a writer? There are a bunch of great writers on here who are so darn kind and generouse they are sure to be able to help and encourage you.
You want to be a partner? What sort of partner would you like to be? Make space in your life for someone and be positive. or write a post about it and get some ideas from people - there are many a user who owes you some love :-)
all the best
no matter what, you got us as friends and support…never forget that…
hi felicity. if you’ll really not going to do something about it, then you will not achieve anything. reading/ thinking is one thing. applying what you’ve read/ thought is another thing.
forget about the books , i think you have read enough , set your goals then figure out ways to achieve them then start working on achieving them NOW.
Got this cute message in an e-mail from my brother yesterday. As I’m passing this on to you, not knowing if it’ll mean anything to you at all, well, consider this my brother’s little contribution to your post. As you can see, he’s in a feel good kinda mood.
So here goes:
“Enlightenment has to do with alignment.
Alignment has to do with feeling good.
Feeling good has to do with choosing the right thoughts.
Seek ye first to feel good and all things shall be added unto you.
What a powerful thought!
Life is made Simple. Life is made Joyful. Life is made Now.
Be Happy. Feel Good.”
Bless his happy heart! Dear bro…
But of course, if you prefer, let me just quote our good friend Sansceriph:
“Kim, you’ve been listening to the wrong voice!”
LOL :)
crosenblum wrote:
no matter what, you got us as friends and support…never forget that…
And, we ain’t just chopped liver, ya know. Where else can you find a community of friends who try so hard to be helpful, without expecting to be invited to dinner?
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Yes C-Eek… You’re funny! LOL LOL :) :)
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Felicity:
I know what you’re going through as I myself became disabled in 2004. I know I’ll never work again (which was and still is a difficult pill to swallow as I was a workaholic). I’m no longer capable of driving, have difficulty doing the most simple tasks never mind things I want to do.
The only true advice I can offer you is just do what you can and don’t let yourself fall into a rut. I still have times when I’ll feel bad for my situation but I always think how lucky I am to be alive and then I manage to find the courage to pull myself back into life.
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chunkymove wrote:
Hello Felicity - how you rolling today?
One thing that jumped out at me from your post was the difference between whet you wanted, and what the books want.
You want to be a writer and a partner yeah?
And then you say your not sure if you can be someone “of power and influence”. Not saying you can’t, or that you wont end up being that, but I don’t think you have any motivation for it thats all.
You want to be a writer - do it! You write a lot here already, in what direction would you like to grow and develop as a a writer? There are a bunch of great writers on here who are so darn kind and generous they are sure to be able to help and encourage you.
You want to be a partner? What sort of partner would you like to be? Make space in your life for someone and be positive. or write a post about it and get some ideas from people - there are many a user who owes you some love :-)
all the best
I did have the motivation needed for that months ago but didnt act upon it,now im left with regret b/c i cant get it back.I asked for help with we-book(a post) but did not get any help .
nextstar wrote:
forget about the books , i think you have read enough , set your goals then figure out ways to achieve them then start working on achieving them NOW.
I have set goals,daily,monthly and yearly but I dont follow through,for diff reasons.I start things and dont finish then get mad at myself,leaving regret and guilt.
Sasha101 wrote:
Its hard to know what to tell you hon, Im not sure how much you can do with your limitations. Are you able to work at all ? Could you do something in the area of volunteer work ? helping others often gives us a satisfaction and thought that we are doing something worthwhile, that in itself can be a motivator. Whatever you try to do , be aware that this is for you, this isn’t for anyone else and if you don’t heave yourself up and take action, there is probably no one that will do it for you.
Many times we find ourselves in the proverbial”rut” we sit around and think about it, then we feel positive then next thing we know that positive feeling has gone and we are filling our brains with the negative thinking. We make every excuse why we cant do it, when what we should be doing is saying I can do it! and Im **** well going to do it, if we dont stay on the track of positive then we are doomed to our life in a “rut”.
The trick I think is finding something you enjoy, and something that makes you forefilled and happy. As you know if you are happy with what you do, it gives you more determination to go on with life, its nice to have a goal, something to aim for, how about going back to school and learning something ? It could be something as simple as a cookery course, or something that interests you. It would also give you that goal and a social outlet at the same time.
I always find things start to look better come the spring and summer, winter is a gloomy old time where we sit indoors and let ourselves ponder the down side of things, when the sun shines, we feel more apt to take the reins and actually do something.
This went on a bit didnt it ? lol, anyway hope this helps a little bit,
Hugs ))))))) Sash x
yes, im able to work for a short time,I had many jobs years back but the longest was almost 2 yrs.and yes, the weather is something that brings me down.
Babacup, you may be right that im not out of the woods yet,thanks luv :)
c-eek, thanks for your words of encouragement and hope :)
Silverwings wrote:
Hey…the invites still open :) and we are moving out of where we are now, in a couple of months, right next door, and you could live here…. Not sure where my life is going to take me in the next few months, however, YOu can go with me if you want, or just hold the homefront down till I return. I feel pretty sure that many things will be changing this year, and I would enjoy getting to know you in person. I believe we would be good for each other.
YOu are so very generous sis,but no thank you.I was going to say due to financial reasons i cannot come there but i think you know there is more to it than that(i can barely take a bus to the nearby town due to anxiety and such){{{{BIG HUGS}}}
Also sis silverwings,the Bible says iam to work and not be lazy so i feel like im disobeying him.I dont help at all and havent in a while-here.I dont do much of anything.I know Im not suppose to feel condemnation but i do.I want so much to obey him so i feel im disappointing my father.yesterday something come to me,maybe its hihg time for me to be on the receiving but im not good at receving,i dont exactly know how to receive ,I want to ask the church for help but then i feel i owe them/it something.
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{Felicity Needs Car} wrote:
Also sis silverwings,the Bible says iam to work and not be lazy so i feel like im disobeying him.I dont help at all and havent in a while-here.I dont do much of anything.I know Im not suppose to feel condemnation but i do.I want so much to obey him so i feel im disappointing my father.yesterday something come to me,maybe its hihg time for me to be on the receiving but im not good at receving,i dont exactly know how to receive ,I want to ask the church for help but then i feel i owe them/it something.
It is the pleasure of the people at the church to help you. That is why they have some of the programs in place. They want to help. Just like you enjoy helping people here, it gives you pleasure. Don’t deny them the chance to feel the satisfaction of being able to help you. It will be as much a gift to them as it will be for you to receive the help.
There was a time in my life when I went to a food pantry once a month to get food and clothing for the kids. It is hard to be at the receiving end. I started volunteering at the food pantry I got to see how good it felt to help. And see no one is looking down at you for being in the position of needing help.
Reach out to the church and be open to receiving help.
We all need help at one time or another. Becoming a graceful recipient of a helping hand is a lesson that I would like to learn, as well. Maybe we can work on that together. Let’s practice and see how it goes. In a way, you are more advanced than I am because at least you let your friends here on this website offer encouragement. I tested the water when I first discovered help.com, but retreated quite quickly to being just a helper, not a receiver of help. If you call your church to ask for help, I promise I will make a post to ask for help with a problem I have been struggling with on my own for quite some time. Deal?
Siverwings,no i dont want you to come and get me but a big Thank yOU.I have been to the church i mentioned a few times.Its not exactly my type of church but its ok.I think i will TRY and volunteer cleaning
c-eek wrote:
We all need help at one time or another. Becoming a graceful recipient of a helping hand is a lesson that I would like to learn, as well. Maybe we can work on that together. Let’s practice and see how it goes. In a way, you are more advanced than I am because at least you let your friends here on this website offer encouragement. I tested the water when I first discovered help.com, but retreated quite quickly to being just a helper, not a receiver of help. If you call your church to ask for help, I promise I will make a post to ask for help with a problem I have been struggling with on my own for quite some time. Deal?
:) Ill try ,harder
{Felicity Needs Car} wrote:
nextstar wrote:
forget about the books , i think you have read enough , set your goals then figure out ways to achieve them then start working on achieving them NOW.
I have set goals,daily,monthly and yearly but I dont follow through,for diff reasons.I start things and dont finish then get mad at myself,leaving regret and guilt.
don’t ever feel regret or guilt because those feelings will drag you down alwyas take things from its positive aspect.
it is normal to feel that it is hard to stick to your daily or monthly or even yearly goals specially in the begining but if i were you i would rather enjoy achieving my goals and make them flexible than making them hard & stress myself while achieving them .
I don’t set goals for myself….I just take care of the things I can do when I can do them. Whatever I can’t do physically, I ask my partner to do. Just because I’m disabled doesn’t mean my life is supposed to come to a stand-still. Like anyone else, I live day to day.
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Felicity edited this post 10 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »
I’ve been living a lie.I’ve read many self- help,success books and although it has helped I still can’t seem to get moving.I’m facing my reality that I don’t have the future I had hoped for due to my limitations.At first It depressed me and I gave up,now Im in a diff stage.But i dont know what to do, if anything.Do i stay where I’am ,unemployed,on disability,in my empty apt all alone not being a writer,not having a mate.I can’t believe I believed what the books said,that i could make a difference, be somebody of power and influence, despite my limitations.My biggest problem is i don’t follow through with anything.well, the only thing I do follow through with is with my kids and grandkids most of the time.If im not feeling needed by somebody I don’t care to do anything so I don’t do anything.Just sit here day after day doing what needs to be done and no more.In short,I don’t see a future and I’m just surviving.For those of you that know me I’m back on meds and out of that bad depression.Reality BITES big time!
sis Silverwings,what you said helps a lot.thank you so much.I did find a great church that was similar to the last one where i used to live but the bus dont run that early,i already tried to get there :/
Anonymous
#
10 months ago (1 week, 1 day after post)
Hey there hun… its been a looooooooooooooong time since ive been here… you know why… but I just wanted to say… I have a feeling that in the past few months your eyes have been opened to a new way of living… a new perspective on life. I know that part of that ended for you, but I hope you carry the hope with you even though the unspoken part has ended.
It seems like now you know… TRULY know that life CAN be different, that even someone as disabled as myself used to be… CAN dig their way out.. I truly believe you can, and I know you so intimately.
Have you considered.. that you life has not ended because you have stopped living through helping people… but rather begun as youve realised that you need to live through helping yourself? To gain those hopes and dreams you have expressed to me in the past few months?
You have come so far.. in such a short period of time.. such a SHORT period.. imagine what the future can hold? There has been loss between us… but, the gain from our discussions.. conversations.. sharing.. has already helped you step out..
I think acknowledging your ANXIETY as being a barrier is a good step… and then patting yourself on the back for the acheivements you have made.. whether it be popping bubbles in the sink and chuckling to yourself.. making plans with the grandkids and following through… or mere changes in attitude… think back.. its not just a mood that has shifted for you….
Best wishes… and hugs… B
Hello Sista, I am sorry to come into this thread so late, but you know, you reaching out is such a big support to yourself, life does suck, in all honesty, we all are victims of circumstance but on the grand scheme of things, or in the light of eternity, what we have, what we own doesn’t matter. Who we are, and who we can effect in a positive way matters.
Our circumstances may dictate our moment’s outcome, but it doesn’t have to dictate who we are or all that we have accomplished throughout our lifetime.
Look inside you girlfriend, there are so many accomplishments and hurdles, so many monumental tasks you have over come, what is going on right now in this moment is not what should dictate your next move, or your future.
You are always a treasure, a gem and the apple of God’s eye. You are such a wonder, and in this time of wonderment, this is a time for refinement, and all God’s children are feeling the squeeze. I HATE IT! I absolutely wish I could just shut out the world sometimes but honestly, what God is preparing me for I stick with it cus I am curious. Sounds kinda funny, but I like who God has molded His children to be!
And that is all that matters!
If you want a change, ask Him, ask God where you need to go. Ask Him to lead you into possiblities and enchantments of your heart. He’s always with you, and you always have Him… and us.
Warm blessings,
Luv, Shannon
Oh, You can email me personally whenever you’d like! Honest!
all power is of him
if you believe
then nothing shall stand before you
he shall lay waste the walls of opposition and opression
and triumph over all
i do believe you have effect
i respect the fact you reach for - even breath
the fallen are many even in death
but the day draws near
and fear shall retire
never bow down to hopelessness nor defeat
the streets know the bloodshed
and earth has been moved
to remember his children
and cast them up
even death is swallowed up by the absolute
truth shall reign supreme
i have a dream
in the meantime
time means nothing
the reward is yet and you will wait as long as it takes .make no mistake
noone shall find it until then
remember the promise
remember the purpose
it hurts us
the sufferer has a long count
pick up your cross and follow him
alibear
gogo8
scrap6
crosenblum
Sasha101
Sans
chunkymove
okei!
nextstar
Luck of the Irish
hotdog321
srnityblu
AKITHMA
Elmo