Relationships help: im i a push over for women, or just not found the right one yet - Help.com

im i a push over for women, or just not found the right one yet

Hey I had been in a relationship for about a month now. Friend of a friend then emailing aim ect. I went to she her the past weekend, and after me and my friend got lost, turning a 2 hour ride in to an 5 hour one, she gave me a hug and treated me like a king, next day kind of the same, but then just went to not paying attention to me at all. I asked to do hold her hand, put my arm around her complete gentleman about everything, paid for stuff, did everything that I was asked to do. Went to the movie ask if I could hold her hand and she said no, so didn’t ask for the rest of the time. Didn’t even get a kiss, witch is really no big deal, yeah I wanted one, but the thing is, that she brook up with me because I was putting to much pressure on her, emotionally, though I never one asked her to say anything back, and told her I don’t expect her to at this time in the relationship, but I am true to my feeling, and I say what I feeling, and that all i asked out of her, don’t tell me things that ain’t true, expicially about feelings. She said I was different over the internet and calls, but I said I going to hug you so much, going to give you a great big kiss, all that, and she was going along with it, but the physical stuff was not the problem, I was worse If you would call it that long distance, so do you think I pushed to hard, and she just some how ain’t ready for a boy friend. the thing that pushed her over i guess is i said i thank god for haveing you in my life, your the best thing that happened to me in a while, witch she though that is being hurtful to everyone else in my life, and to much presure on her. So what do you think world? She is 18 I am 21 in case that helps.

This open post was written 3 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 551, 3, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Amngower may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Amngower is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 6 months and has 4 posts and 21 replies to their name.

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girlfriend, dating, dating advice, finding love, Relationships (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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C.M.Theisen offline Verified User (3 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Providence, RI, US | 3 years, 6 months ago (2 days, 12 hours after post)

Actually, your story reminds me of an early relationship experience I had. I was quite madly in love with this girl who was also 18. This being the very beginning of the PC age much of our friendship was carried out long distance via postal mail or phone call. My friend was certainly fond of me, but did not have the same strength of feeling. Realizing this, I tried to be gentlemanly and I was careful to not make any demands on the girl. I really liked the girl, so I didn’t want to drop all association. Nonetheless, I was really quite shocked when she eventually broke it to me that I was just putting too much pressure on her. Turns out that because she did understand my feelings were stronger than hers, even my small gestures of courtesy or generosity felt like obligations to her.

I suspect your ex-girlfriend might have felt something similar to my former flame and she couldn’t handle it. You may be feeling a little mislead by this woman, but let that go. Relationships carried out over IM or email have an element of unreality to them. They feel much more remote and safe than do face to face communication. This woman probably didn’t even realize that she was unprepared for the “real thing” until you actually showed up.

So the bottom line is that you didn’t do anything wrong. You just weren’t all that compatible as a couple. You’ll do better next time. You may be wondering whether you did in fact come on too strong, just like the girl said. Sadly, there is no scientifically measurable standard for what counts as “coming on too strong.” The only thing that is clear is that this one young woman thought you did move too fast, too intensely. Well, she has a right to her opinion. Of course, if you had behaved in exactly the same way with a different woman, you could have easily found romantic success. Relationships are kind of hit or miss and you just have to pick yourself up, dust off and move on.

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Queen Elizatron 4000 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 5 months ago (2 weeks after post)

18 year olds have no clue what they want. Chicks are hard to please just move onto a new girl. your young you have time. I wouldn’t worry until your in your 40’s and still didn’t have love. She was a waste of time no need to be sad over one girl. She just didn’t have the spark. That’s ok you do want to be with her if she didn’t so at least she didn’t lie to you or lead you on that’s a plus. I bet your a great guy just stay in the game ok. Don’t give up! Elizabeth:)

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allzvanity offline Verified User (3 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 4 months ago (2 months, 1 week after post)

Post a reply//One month is generally a short period in the dating game, first you must learn to know what type of female
you are dealing with. Some are just the kind who will dote on you for a spell do not read too much into it. it is our nature to hug and kiss. :)
You sound like a Nice young man, you need to be careful who you give your heart to. the dating game is a very complicated game
even many adults are Still trying to understand it. give yourself time to grow up emotionally. just watch listen, and learn from other peoples mistakes. there are many beatiful people who are not so pretty inside. because of many reasons it is truely only skin deep. look inside a person to find who they really are.
GBU

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