walking help: I’ve lost my best friend and cannot deal with the loss. - Help.com

I’ve lost my best friend and cannot deal with the loss.

I think about her all of the time. I can’t stop crying.

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 779, 25, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post seagull64 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. seagull64 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 2 posts and 41 replies to their name.

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Victoria Sponge offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

Hey honey, what happened?

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

We had a falling out and she and I just could not come to any agreement. It’s been very rocky and its time to let go. She had tunnel vision about something very important to me. It’s like you said whenever things seem to be good the bottom falls out and you fall with it. The only advice I can give you is that you need to find the strength to pick up and go on. There will always be setbacks and it would be better not to expect too much. Hugs.

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dove7 offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (58 minutes after post)

It’s sad, I know. I’ve been there….only we were friends for over 15 yrs before I found out how she really was. Good riddance to her. I deserve better, and so do you.

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Victoria Sponge offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 17 minutes after post)

Honey I had to let go of a friend too, it’s hard but some people are here for a small time to teach us things, learn from the lesson and look forward to all the wonderful new friends you will make

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dove7 offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 50 minutes after post)

I left my friend bc she thoughtthat money was more important than friendship…..I bought clothes and babysat for free bc she was a young mom. I wanted her to graduate. She got pregnany again three years later, and again, I helped out, but not with babysitting. I just bought her stuff bc I lived in a different city by then. Anyway, four months after her kid was born, I got pregnant. She told me that she had stuff for me, when I got there to see the stuff, she told me it was only for 60$ for a garbage bag full. She tried TO SELL me the things that I bought and GAVE to her. not a friend. nice one! Money is no the most important thing.

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Victoria Sponge offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (20 hours, 35 minutes after post)

dove7 wrote:
I left my friend bc she thoughtthat money was more important than friendship…..I bought clothes and babysat for free bc she was a young mom. I wanted her to graduate. She got pregnany again three years later, and again, I helped out, but not with babysitting. I just bought her stuff bc I lived in a different city by then. Anyway, four months after her kid was born, I got pregnant. She told me that she had stuff for me, when I got there to see the stuff, she told me it was only for 60$ for a garbage bag full. She tried TO SELL me the things that I bought and GAVE to her. not a friend. nice one! Money is no the most important thing.

No way I can’t believe the nerve of some people

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dove7 offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (1 day, 1 hour after post)

She moved away for a few years. I eventually forgave her bc I thought that she was young and naive and needed money….nope just a user. I was so hurt by her. I was her friend for a total of about 17 yrs. (minus 3, I suppose, for the time she moved away)

The reason our friendship ended was over money. It’s for good this time! fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. There’s not going to be a third time.

I should have clued in to her mentality when she told me I shouldn’t get married to the guy that I’ve been with for 13 yrs. She and her mother both told me that I should marry a rich handsome doctor. What the frig! What kind of advice is that to give a young lady!) Money is not everything. I was the best friend that she ever had. Maybe i should have given her some advice: she’d have more money if she kept her legs closed and stopped sleeping with every third guy that walked by. That produces kids. Kids are expensive. Not to mention that she probably has at least one disease from it by now. By the time she was 20 she had been with at LEAST 6 people. I sure as heck hadn’t.

When I was 14, her mother told her that I was a bad influence. She shouldn’t hang out ith me anymore. I cried when she told me that. How was I bad? I didn’t drink, smoke, take drugs, drink coffee, or tea, or no tattoos, no theft, no arson, no vandalism, no skipping classes, didn’t go out, except to youth group once a week. How was I a bad influence to this girl? She had done at least 6 of those things.
I was a kid with old ratty clothes, with no money….that was the real problem!

yup some people suck hunny, sorry to say…..don’t waste 17 yrs like I did!

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (4 days, 7 hours after post)

My problem is I am so angry with this ex-friend of mine and I don’t know what to do with it. Its like a monkey on my back. I keep telling myself to just let it go but it doesn’t. Any advice?

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dove7 offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (5 days after post)

Is it possible to write a letter to explain how you feel and tell her why it is bothering you? Could you tell her that you miss her? Tell her that you aren’t expecting anything in return, but would appreciate a call or a letter in return. Also tell her that it would be a shame to lose the friendship because of one argument.

She may respond, and she may not, but at least you won’t have to sit and wonder later “what would have happened if I had ……”. Know what I mean?

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h offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (3 weeks, 3 days after post)

h

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (3 weeks, 3 days after post)

I have thought of that however I feel it was her choice to end the friendship and I don’t like to push myself on anyone. If she wanted she could have contacted me but nothing. I haven’t completely ruled it out. Still turning it over in my mind. Thanks for your concern.

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dove7 offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (3 weeks, 3 days after post)

Nice to hear from you Seagull! I thought that you were MIA! I wish tha I had more advice, but that was the best that I could come up with.

By the way, the other thread that we were on sure is getting long, LOL. We’re up to 20 out of 24. feel free to join in any time. :)

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

in december me and my best best best friend got in a little arguemnt didnt talk for awhile. then while came to a month it was kinda nice cause no drama. well then after awhile she told 2 close friends of mine soemthing that wasnt true. and i never ever thought in my entire life she would be like that. i know her like the back of my hand we were there through EVERYTHING! and i cant believe she would do that. it was the turning point where i was thinking i deserve better. its now june and in the past 3-4 months i think about her everyday. i want to cry all the time. i love her and miss her so much. and i think why should i miss her after what she did to me why should i care i shouldnt even trust her. but it keeps going to the back of my mind and just how much i need her keeps comming in my head. every single day i want to cry cause i miss her so much. i go to school with her. this past week was the first time weve talked in months and it wasnt anything important or worthy of a conversation not even a hi bye. shes not a liar, shes the most honest person in the world, one of the best people i know too. but when i found out she technically spread a rumor about me i couldnt believe it. i dont even know the girl that spread that cause its not the girl i know. i dont understand and i dont know what to do i ache everyday. i wonder if god wants me to make the move twords her. shes my sister, i love her, i miss her. i need help please.

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

my name is actually jennabegoodx3

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

I really feel for you. Like you I feel very lost without my friend. I think of her constantly. Miss her very much. She chose to end our friendship so I feel its up to her to make a move. I am not the type to push myself on anyone so I try to live with it. It is very difficult. As for your situation. Are you sure she was the one to spread the lie. Maybe its someone who is jealous of your friendship. Have you thought about confronting her and see if it really came from her? If she denies it then maybe you should talk it out. I give you this advice which I hope is useful. Just do not forget that all things pass with time.

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

thank you very much for replying. i know for sure it was her who spread it because she told two very close friends of mine. i called her and said please quite saying…. and she said i never said that. and i started bawling. cause i just cant believe she would do that. thats not her to go that. shes not the person to talk behind peoples backs. so very little i keep thinking how could she do that, she dont deserve a friend like me then. but thats at the back of my mind. in the front is how shes my sister pretty much every single memory weve had together. everything weve been through and how we stood my eachothers side. i feel like i need her mostly. not one day goes by that she isnt at the top of my mind and i dont want to cry. and i trust her so much its hard to think that i cant? cause of what she said or whats the reason for her doing that. :(

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

If she said that she did not say it how come you don’t believe her. If you think she is lying then I suggest you try forgiveness. Forgiving someone is the greatest was of freeing yourself. I hope this was helpful.

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

because i know she did say it. i know 100% she said it. i should try that. i think im no longer mad that she did that i just dont know why she would have done that. cause its so not like her.

the biggest thing is. besides all that. we havent talked about 5 months. but all i do is think about her and how much i miss her. and i feel like if i dont do something its not going to get any better like its never going to leave me head. i always feel like :/ that. i zone out just thinking about everything. its like a secret depression i have cause i dont tell any of my close friends.

all my friends are friends with her too. just me and her arent.

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

I know its tough. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Then sit down with her and talk it out. If that doesn’t work let her go.

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

I should follow the advice I am giving you. LOL

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

i know isnt that how it always works. its just so hard.

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

Good Luck

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cheyshy0 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (3 months, 3 weeks after post)

i just lost my best guy friend i am a girl and his girlfriend ask me 2 stop talking to him i told him and he said alrite c ya i said okayy but dont exspect me to be here for you when yal brake up did i do the right thing??????????????????????????????????????

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seagull64 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (3 months, 3 weeks after post)

Well it seems to me that his girlfriend is very insecure. I would stay away from him. If a breakup occurs he will need you friend.

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jennabegoodx offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (3 months, 3 weeks after post)

he will deffinately come back when shes gone. and you wont know what to do till that point happens because you mite want to give him another chance yet does he deserve your friendship if hes going to treat you like that! if you guys were friends before they knew eachother or started dating hes an idiot! you did the right thing

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