good and bad, help: Online dating.What are your thoughts on this? - Help.com

Love was never meant to be easy….Because in our heart of hearts we just want to be loved, and accepted, and desired…and just to know others care for us and want them in our lives..

So I’ve never really had much luck with it…And but it’s so hard to meet people, if your shy, not exactly handsome looking, and dont’ drink or smoke…

But we all do deserve love…just takes time and patience.

Online dating blows… unless you are on a dating site to actually meet someone, what is the point in online dating, I’m your girlfriend/boyfriend over a computer screen, I can send you pics that could be real or not, you can see me on cam, you can run up your phone bill talking to me…. but when it comes down to it you’ll probably never see me…. that kind of stuff. If you are just looking for something to do conversation after you get off work hey go for it…. but seriously… I met my husband off of a dating site, the guy before him I met playing a video game so it works but we didn’t “date” online we made concious efforts to meet each other.

First Hand Experience:

Unless if the dating is USUALLY online, and you meet each other every now and then, it’s not a great idea…

If you’re not meeting through an online dating service, and the person is isn’t nearby, then i wouldn’t do it.

Right now, i’m 16, and in the 10th grade. In the 8th grade, i travelled to Australia to see a girl that i had “Dated” for 8 months. It was a lot of fun.
But during those 8 months, i was introduced to so many new emotions, to severe depression, i began to cut myself, i began to become suicidal, all i wanted to do was be with my “girlfriend”, and my grades dropped. It was a life altering experience, but most likely not for the best. I will say that, sure, because of it, im the most humble guy alive; it lowered my self-esteem to the individual grain of dirt in the ground, so i let people walk all over me.

It’s not a good thing. The experiences are still with me and still effect me, although i am long past the relationship. It was an introduction to so much crap….
My life plunged into a dark hole.

I went to Australia to see her, she was, infact, a real person and true to her word on everything. It was a great time, i loved australia, i liked seeing her, but when the time for me to leave came, i changed. I became, and i don’t use this word lightly, a lunatic. I went crazy. I went home, she broke up with me within a week, because i was just NOT The same. It was like seeing another sense (ie: sight, feeling, hearing, etc.), and then it being stolen from you again. It took me months to get over it, ummm…. i just dont know…
You need to be with a person inorder for it to really last. You can date online, and you can experience all of the same emotions, Except for touch! and that is core to everything… Lust is one of the 3 flames that lights the grand fire of love, and lust requires some degree of touch. Without lust, a relationship won’t last.

I would not advise a long-distance relationship… though i understand it’s pretty tough to say no to something you believe you love. I wouldn’t blame you for doing it, but if possible, try and avoid it. No good will come from it in the long run……
I’m sorry. =/.

I just don’t see how anyone can fall in love with someone they have never actually met. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I know you can get to know a person online in a different way than you can in the real world, but there are more senses than just seeing what is written on the screen. There is touch, how does it feel to be held by this person? Do you feel safe in his/hers arms? You can’t know this by just chatting online. Smell, there is nothing better than smelling your man right after, well, right after… You can’t get that online either. Taste, what do his kisses taste like? Again, you can’t get this online either. There is so much of “being in love” that you just can’t get online.

Someone who hasn’t experienced a relationship with another person in the immediate area is someone who can get by much easier without all of the senses. IF you were never held by someone other than your parents, then how would you know the feeling? It’s not as necessary. After being exposed, of course people don’t usually go to online dating, but if people online date, its usually going to be some of the first relationships someone has. Same thing for any other sense. If you aren’t exposed to anything, what the person can fill that no one else has before can be enough for something to work out. You can see them (via Camera), you can talk to them (fills social need), you can hear them (phone)…
Your imagination is usually pretty strong to fill in the other needs. If you haven’t personally experienced, it’s really to hard to explain, but its nothing to be jealous of, trust me. :)
That’s the best explanation that someone can say, probably, and if it doesn’t help, then just accept that you probably won’t ever know.

Jules22871 wrote:
I just don’t see how anyone can fall in love with someone they have never actually met. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I know you can get to know a person online in a different way than you can in the real world, but there are more senses than just seeing what is written on the screen. There is touch, how does it feel to be held by this person? Do you feel safe in his/hers arms? You can’t know this by just chatting online. Smell, there is nothing better than smelling your man right after, well, right after… You can’t get that online either. Taste, what do his kisses taste like? Again, you can’t get this online either. There is so much of “being in love” that you just can’t get online.

I agree with every bit of that… I’ve never actually fallen for someone online, until I met them… My first meeting was a guy which I met off of world of warcraft go figure… we used to talk on the phone share pics or see each other via webcam we’d use ventrillo when we were gaming to talk and we’d just have a good time we started to realize how much we did like each other and we were only 3 hours away from each other so we met… I had never been to greenville SC he’d never been to Dahlonega GA so we decided to meet… when we did I was sort of taken back by the way he looked, I mean he looked like he did in his pictures he was just like he was on the net/phone and what not but it was like I don’t know… I fell in love with him that night once I got used to sitting next to him and actually being able to touch his hand or tug on his long hair.
We got engaged short time after seeing as we had spoken for a while over the internet we felt we knew each other… then after about a year of physically being together I saw the real him, he spazzed, he buried himself in video games, he didn’t want to work well he did but he was too addicted/lazy to do so. He would turn off his electronics to try to prove to me that he wasn’t addicted but then he would lay around all day and read instead of putting some footwork in and putting in apps… after that we started yelling at each other more frequently he would get angry with me if he didn’t get a piece of gear out of an instance and break up with me, until finally one day he got violent with me in front of my 2 year old daughter…
After that I vowed no more online dating, getting to know/meet people… of course I was having a hard time in the small *** backwoods town I moved back to, to meet people so I decided to give a dating site a try, just to meet friends in my area, in the process I met my current husband, we talked for 2 weeks wound up meeting when we met we clicked right off, we clicked before we met but he’s in the army and I have a hatred of the military due to personal reasons so I was giving him a hard time, once we physically met it was like hey kick ***, we went out we had a good time we spent the weekend together he had to go back to the military base and from there we knew we wanted to be with each other, there was just something there when we met he proposed to me he was already prepared and all he said he knew before he got there that I would be the woman he would marry just from how I acted over the phone/internet. I said he was crazy but I accepted.
We are now happily married of 3 months we know everything about each other since we are completely open and honest I still learn new things from his family about him as a kid, but that is ok he’s still doing the same with me… he has been the most wonderful guy i’ve ever seen around children my daughter loves him my nephew thinks he’s cool lol and well he’s just all around one of those rare find guys that is old fashioned yet modern.
You just have to be careful about who you decide to meet… I’ve met psycho and i’ve met a wonderful guy good luck with your dating scene. Like I said before online dating imo blows it’s like a gamble.

I think it is a pile of poo lol honest, stuff like it pops up everywhere. on the net you dont know who you are talking to. the whole thing is just a waste of time. Its a horrible stupid place to go. may aswell talk to people you know by face, atleast you will actually be able to see them and know they are who they say they are. I like talking to people on the net. but never contemplate on meeting one. and seriously, if you dont meet the person your having a relationship with on the net, you can cancel out the thoughts of having children and anything like that. it’s just daft. maybe just a bordom breaker, but nothing serious. and a love relationship should be taken seriously I think. A love relationship is where you try to find out who you want to be with, but if you know you’re not going to be with them, it’s abit pointless, don’t you think?

my views sounds more a rant lol perhaps abit erm..strong lol no offence to anyone that thinks otherwise mind.