dad help: Uncontrollable crying always comes when my father raises his voice to me. - Help.com



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Uncontrollable crying always comes when my father raises his voice to me.

If he’s screaming at someone else, it only irritates me and fills me with dread, giving me a headache, but when he’s channeling anger my way, I just can’t help but cry and sob and shudder, cowering in fear. The way he is when he’s angry is just so intimidating…I can’t do anything because of this, I just stay silent and biting my tongue to try and stop the tears.

Is there a good way to control your emotions and contain them?

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 335, 15, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (3 minutes after post)

you’re dad sounds like a D0UCH3.

sorry for saying.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
you’re dad sounds like a D0UCH3.

sorry for saying.

It’s okay. He’s a nice guy, but he’s just got some anger problems :/

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pherisia offline Verified User (9 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

I get the same way when my mother shouts, something rooted from years ago, I always have to leave the room to compose myself (doesn’t always work as sometimes she follows) and find just taking a second away from it gives me the strength I need. Also visualising him angry, and then visualising yourself reacting differently could help you learn to do it when it really happens…

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.................... offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

If you supress your emotions, it would give you troubles in future. The best way is to close your room and cry as you please when you feel like. This would help you clear your mind. Talk to your father about what you feel. Tell him that it is affecting you. I am sure he will change.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

Oh, that’s far too bad.

I’m sorry.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Thank you all for the advice. I can’t walk away from him while he’s blowing off because he’d come and grab me probably. His words hurt me and the shame just comes crashing to me, and the sound of crying evokes higher anger with my dad. It’s just a sound that irks him. I also feel like I’m a pathetic thing submitting to him…it would just take some of the load of negative emotions off if I didn’t cry and tremble like that. Thank you again.

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b_m_4lif offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

I’m exactly the same.
Whenever any negative attention goes my way I end up in tears and its so fustrating because i dont understand why!!
The best way ive found of stopping it is to do something like tap your foot or play with your fingers.
If that doesnt work I just dont listen and imagine what it would be like if i yelled back at them.
Sorry i cant be of much help.
But your not alone.
Just try and keep your brain occupied with something else and that should keep the crying under control.
Good luck.
x

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

Next time he starts yelling at you tell him “Chillax, Daddy-O. Take a chill pill, dude!”

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

Yes, while he’s yelling, I play off scenarios of..’epic’ fight scenes in my head..they get rather silly…Or I get imagine my self giving a very serious lecture back or whatnot. Thanks again, everyone. I don’t think there’s anymore advice I could get or need.
Oh, and if I told him that, littlenick, he would probably enter into being violent… _

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

Then tell him this really fast “loser’s say what?” Then when he asks “what?” Run like the wind!

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

Lol. Nice idea. -sorta~

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

Next time he starts going off on you tell him in a whisper into his ear, “that’s OK Daddy, I saw the video.” Then smile and wink at him cryptically and just walk away! You will have him eating out of the palm of your hand from that day on!

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

Thanks for cheering me up, littlenick. :]

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (36 minutes after post)

Or the next time he does it, tell him into his ear too, “Daddy, I know everything, you don’t have to pretend anymore. I love you anyway.” Then wink at him and walk away.

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lucky25us200 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (2 months after post)

Believe me when I say that I know exactly what you are going through. My dad is the same exact way in that he is generally a nice guy until something gets him really mad. It is very much a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide sort of thing.

When he does get really angry, I usually remember what my brother told me to do. He said the best thing to do is just to ride it out. Let him blow off some steam. If he starts to take it out on you by insulting you, remember that deep down he still loves you. Avoid confrontation with him and try not to get on his bad side.

I know it is really stressful and it is hard not to cry, but you just need to get through it. Realize that even after his initial bout of anger, he may continue having emotional highs and lows.

It will be hard, but it will end. Just remember that.

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