Why would my boyfriend post this when he knew I’d see it?

LostandUnfound

Why would my boyfriend post this when he knew I’d see it?

I don’t know what to do. I should talk to him I know but what do I say? It made me feel like I’m not worth the effort. The people I’ve asked say I should just tell him that. So maybe I should… but I’m more curious as to why he’d write that where I could see it unless he wanted me to see it. You know?

This is what he wrote:
“The cigarettes go to fast, the thoughts I had a second ago gone in the wind because the euphoria is too much to handle in such a short time. Your worst day drowned out by seritonin as it flows through your broken body and bent life. I almost feel guilty as I pop them, but **** it cause the chemicals convience me its a great idea an hour later. Who knows what I’ll feel like tomorrow when I realize the bank account is drained but for now, let’s forget how I got this way and enjoy conversations with my patch work family abut how love is all that matters. Two hours in and I wish I had a warm body to cuddle with but the music flowing through my vains is comfort enough. Love is a weird place to walk though, but **** if it is’nt my final goal. By the way, I swear I’ll make it up to you, somehow, someday, in a hazy day filled with rain symbolizing my guilt and regrets from over a years time ago. I still love you, When I said I loved you I ******* meant it Till the day I die, even if it hinders my abilty to hold a steady relationship today despite the great oppertunitys I’ve been blessed and cursed with this past year. EDS is a minor clue to those who ever asked “What’s wrong ___?” if they might still be curious to an answer I never shared that particular night.”

I’ve felt so bad all day long because of that. I don’t know what to do.

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 159, 31, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post LostandUnfound may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. LostandUnfound is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 3 months and has 76 posts and 138 replies to their name.

Post Tags (0)

This post has no tags. Please, help out and add some! (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (31)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

oh gosh, i dont even know what to say. That makes me feel bad and i dont even know your boyfriend. My puny brain doesnt know how to interpret all those complex words, so i dont know how to help, sorry :/

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

I have felt horrible all day long because of it.
I just don’t know what to do. It hurts… you know?

Help me with: Writer’s block.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

Yeah, im sorry :( do you think he wants to kill himself? or is he saying he’s not good enough for you?…what do you think that note means???

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

I haven’t actually been dating him that long. And I’m pretty sure that is about his exgirlfriend and not me. I forgot to mention that.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Actually, I’m positive it’s about his exgirlfriend.
And they broke up in 2007, I’m pretty sure.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Which is why I feel horrible because it makes me feel like I’m not worth the effort to try.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

He wrote that 2 years ago. It is gone. What matters is how he feels about YOU NOW.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

Yeah, if there wasnt anything bothering you about your guys’ relationship before you found the note i wouldnt worry about it or even bring it up with him.so dont mention it to him, that was the past…things change. him finding you, probablly got his mind off his ex and he is probally happy being with you. (more than her). And if you bring it up it could bring on problems he had before.

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

Just some of the things it says doesn’t seem like he wrote it two years ago. And I just still feel like I should tell him how it made me feel. I feel like I should at least be able to tell him that it kind of hurt me. But it doesn’t matter because I know I won’t say it anyway.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

People’s style don’t change much over the years but feelings do change. What he felt 2 years ago about another girl doesn’t mean he still feels it that way, especially if he was able to have a new relationship. I think you are over-reacting.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

I know I probably am. He’s told me before that he was really hurt by her and so… yeah, you’re right.. I am probably overreacting. It just made me nervous/upset and just wonder…

Help me with: Writer’s block.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

Well, youre a girl right? We always over-anaylize and think the worst of things sometimes. lol. im sure things will be alright. If not, your help.com friends are here for you :)

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

flii #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

sounds like a 16 year old emo girl, dump him and get a real man

This account has been deactivated.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

Put the letter back where you found it and pretend you never read it before. He had the right to feel that way at THAT time and it is gone. On the other hand, you had no right to dig in his stuff…if you know what I mean. He was honest with you when he said he was hurt by a previous relationship. It is over though so just chill.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

beatricegalant wrote:
Put the letter back where you found it and pretend you never read it before. He had the right to feel that way at THAT time and it is gone. On the other hand, you had no right to dig in his stuff…if you know what I mean. He was honest with you when he said he was hurt by a previous relationship. It is over though so just chill.

it wasn’t a letter. he posted it on the computer. lame i know. but if he didn’t want me to see it, i’m sure he wouldn’t have posted it.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

flii wrote:
sounds like a 16 year old emo girl, dump him and get a real man

dude, that was unessesary… she obviously loves him so she OBVIOUSLY isnt going to take your advice. Maybe you shouldnt be giving people advice on this website.

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

anyway, thanks yall for the help.
i do appreciate it a lot.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

LostandUnfound wrote:

beatricegalant wrote:
Put the letter back where you found it and pretend you never read it before. He had the right to feel that way at THAT time and it is gone. On the other hand, you had no right to dig in his stuff…if you know what I mean. He was honest with you when he said he was hurt by a previous relationship. It is over though so just chill.
it wasn’t a letter. he posted it on the computer. lame i know. but if he didn’t want me to see it, i’m sure he wouldn’t have posted it.

well if he really wants you to know about it, he will come out and say it.

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

Eventually…i mean, if he REALLLY wanted you to know. But yeah, dont say anything. and glad we could help.

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

magicpinkponie wrote:

LostandUnfound wrote:

beatricegalant wrote:
Put the letter back where you found it and pretend you never read it before. He had the right to feel that way at THAT time and it is gone. On the other hand, you had no right to dig in his stuff…if you know what I mean. He was honest with you when he said he was hurt by a previous relationship. It is over though so just chill.
it wasn’t a letter. he posted it on the computer. lame i know. but if he didn’t want me to see it, i’m sure he wouldn’t have posted it.
well if he really wants you to know about it, he will come out and say it.

that’s what i figured. i was with him two hours before he wrote it anyway so i’m wondering why he didn’t just talk to me.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

It doesn’t matter where he posted it or when. It is over for him. By posting it where you can see it really means he can face it finally and it is the end for him to ever feel anything for that girl.

joanna.hoee 0 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

wow thats crazy :(
has he always been like this?

Help me with: Well Miss California

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

beatricegalant wrote:
It doesn’t matter where he posted it or when. It is over for him. By posting it where you can see it really means he can face it finally and it is the end for him to ever feel anything for that girl.

maybe it’s just his way of getting past the whole thing with her?

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

Yes, you got it. It is his final goodbye. He has YOU now.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (32 minutes after post)

joanna.hoee wrote:
wow thats crazy :(has he always been like this?

i guess yeah, kinda. not that bad usually though.

beatricegalant wrote:
Yes, you got it. It is his final goodbye. He has YOU now.

that makes sense. that makes me feel so much better about it. thanks so much.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (33 minutes after post)

You are welcome, any time. Love him more than ever before. He needs a LOT of reassurance from you.

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

:]. thanks!!

Help me with: Writer’s block.

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

I’m glad I could make you smile. You had nothing to worry about to begin with.

magicpinkponie 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

beatricegalant wrote:
Yes, you got it. It is his final goodbye. He has YOU now.

yep that was exactlly what i was thinking but couldnt say…kudos to you.haha.

Help me with: wait why did my post get deleted, is there somthing i missed?

beatricegalant 9 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

To you too ;-)

LostandUnfound 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (37 minutes after post)

it just made me nervous and wonder.
i can’t help but do it.
especially when i really like someone.

i think i just needed more opinions and reassurance.

Help me with: Writer’s block.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Why would my boyfriend post this when he knew I’d see it? - Help.com