death help: My mum and almost step dad have been trying to sort out their wills and the care of children section bothers me. - Help.com

It always a hard thing to think about, the death of a parent. Running away will make everything that much harder. I know you don’t like the idea of having to live with anyone else but it is a much better option than living on the streets. Most runaways do not have a happy ending and do you really want that for yourself? Wouldn’t it be better to just dig in and live with your relatives and get your education so you could make a decent life for yourself. You didnt say how old Jake is but I take it he is a fairly new addition to the family. Do you realize that once you hit 18 and have a good job that in most states you can get guardianship of him and raise him yourself? Wouldn’t that be better than never seeing him again?

This is actually a matter you should not give too much thaught. It`s gonna wear you down if you do.

TearsOnThe-RainDrops wrote:
Jake is…almost born shall we say, and they put down that I’ll get custody IF I’m over 25, so at least I’ve had a chance to do something with my life

Odds are that everything will be fine for years to come. If you are really worried over this then talk to them and let them know how you feel. You all might be able to come up with a better alternative.

By actually talking with eachother..

I can’t tell you how it can be different. I don’t know you and your family. But maybe there are other family members you could be left with instead of the the ones they have decided on. Maybe you can get the age at which you take Jake lowered a little bit. But, if you run away, you will not get Jake, no matter what your age is since most runaways end up in more and more trouble as the years go on.

TearsOnThe-RainDrops wrote:
The only other family my mum doesnt want me to go with.

Grim_Hardcastle wrote:
By actually talking with eachother..

Yeah but how exactly just you say it? ITs not that easy!

It can be that easy. Just tell them you want to talk about the will. That you really don’t like it and would like to talk to them about it.

Nothing is easy if you don`t know how. You`ll never gonna get a step by step plan on how to live your life. It`s called living. We all do it in different ways.

You need to sort out by yourself how do do it. There is only so much advice we can give on this.

Dont think about it too much. Its a good thing that your parents are making sure that you re gonna be safe , no matter what happens. You re gonna be 18 anyway and whatever may occur, you re gonna have a roof over your head, until then.life is not predictable, Wherever you run , it can be worse then having someone to take care of you, who means you no harm. The odds are youre parents are gonna be just fine, so dont wear yourself out thinking of scenarios like these.

i agree that you should just talk to them about how you feel. however i am the same as you and would find it hard to go and talk to someone so bluntly. but i think that you have got to do it. it is unlikely that you will have a problem, but you will really regret not talking if you dont do it now and something does happen… i know because my grandad died on sunday and he was the only person i spoke to in the family, but i didnt speak to him a week before he dies and really regret being so distant to him just before he died. so from experience i really advise you bite your lip and just say what you have to say xx good luck xx

hey tears, I know its so much easier said than done but u do seem to be worrying about something that u shouldnt, but since I know thats not the answer your looking for i’ll try to look at the whole worst case scenario. if your parent were to pass in the next couple years the grief(i assume you’d be sad, unless maybe u hate them, but even then..) would probably consume u to a point that the next year or two or whatever til u turn 18 would be a period of mourning and reflection and u would probably want to be with people that u know(even if ur not that crazy about them). Then when u turn 18 u would be a little older and maybe be able to make a betrter decision. maybe at that point u would want to go off to college and have a stable enviorment and be out of the house. their are just so many “what ifs” involved that its kind of hard to say exactly what u should do. Like I said its easier said then done but your thinking bout the worst possible scenarios and hopefully they wont happen. I would say though that running away, even though it sounds great isnt always. Ive moved and “run” so many times and now at my ripe old age of 32 ive realized one thing: the scenery may change but the problems always follow. happiness is about being happy where your at. if your happy where your at, then going somewhere else u still might be happy, but if your brutally depressed and run away, that depression will likely follow..

tears, dont run away unless you have someplace safe to go to. cos god knows what can happen to you if you dont think it through.

Give me a break… your parents aren’t dying. You’re worrying about something that will more than likely never happen. They are being responsible adults by dealing with a situation before it happens that will more than likely not happen any time soon. you are being well taken care of and worrying about it. Chillax as my daughter would say…