boyfriend help: Clingy Boyfriend - Help.com

Your perception is spot on: your boyfriend is afraid of losing you. That anxiety is indeed what makes him clingy. Getting past that anxiety is actually a complicated and messy process, but let’s assume the best and say that your boyfriend is a reasonable sort who is open to changes. In a case like this, the problem is relatively straightforward: he simply doesn’t recognize his behavior as clingy. So you need to explain things until he sees the situation through your eyes. If he’s the decent sort, he will try to modify his behavior.

Just don’t forget to be specific with your boyfriend about explaining what crosses the line between attentiveness and smothering. Of course, that line can shift day to day, so prepare him for that possibility too. And as for yourself, be realistic. Expect to have this same conversation more than once. If your boyfriend is dealing with his own deep seated insecurities, these will be subconscious. And our subconscious has a habit of making us do things even when the conscious mind knows better.

You might find yourself worrying too much about hurting his feelings. Don’t let that stop you. There are ways to take the sting out of this conversation. It never hurts to also use this talk as a way to re-affirm the specific things he is doing right and that you appreciate. Remind him that you bring this matter up only because you already value the relationship and want to make it work better.

I was in a relationship like that once, then the next thing you know I was married. The controling gets worst and could get out of controle… Be frank speak your peace, if he really loves you he will back up and see you are too crowded and let you breathe for a while…. I can help more if you need it just contact me ok, thanks Jenn from Alabama

I’ve come across your kind before, and I have seen with my own eyes the wake of pain and misery left behind by those like you. Everything about your query indicates that you come here seeking affirmation of your viewpoints and decisions. In truth though, you doesn’t deserve to feel so much as the residual essence of affection from a significant other, let alone the degree of devotion this guy has shown you. Obviously you have no real need for all that space since you surely have no higher goals/interests/aspirations in this life which would merit “alone time,” yet your inability to perceive the real value of your life relative to the world around you must surely blind you to this reality. It would certainly have been to your former boyfriend’s advantage if you had never existed in the timeline of this universe, but as evidenced by your being here, we live in an imperfect world. I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I can’t hold back the truth for the sake of your well-being, especially given that you already care enough about your own self for the both of us.