depression help: I tried to hurt myself again, it wasn’t that serious, I just predictably threw it all up anyway. - Help.com

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Is there something that has happened to make you feel like this r is it just life in general?

Fletcher, don’t do this, I hate it. I don’t know what to say to make things better. Infact I don’t think there is anything I can say. But I want to. I want to help. And I can’t. A post has never made me cry this hard before. I don’t know what to say really. I hate how life is, how it just hurts us all, till everyone is in so much pain it’s near impossible to go on and then life chucks you one good thing, that pulls you out of despair for a little while but then life takes it away and throws you back into the raging ocean of agony.

I love you Fletcher, and I’m not going to stop saying that till it ceases to be true.

Fletcher-

I like to hurt myself… all the time. I also love my life and i love my family and friends but i dont have a fricken clue why i like to hurt myself. Maybe to feel alive (which is dumb cuz i know i AM alive.

THen a few months ago… my uncle hung himself. Try that on for size. He didnt want to talk to anybody and he WOULDNT. So he wouldnt let any of his family or friends help him. I dont know what was going on in his life but he was struggling too.

You…. find help! I found help too and if you DONT want to find help because of what others will think. Just know this…. the first thing they are going to ask when they find you dead is… “Why didnt he get any help”

Do everyone a favor…. GET HELP!!!!!

Why do you keep saying “blah”? You sound like you just dont care… how would you like to try to give someone advice when all its seems like is that they dont want it? You say you have had lots of help… well it kind of sounds like you need to find something else… it sounds like when you say “blah” that your giving up on yourself and you are done trying to find help…. wrong answer! There are SOOOO many different types of help out there. you need to find something that works for you. Maybe writing it down, going to a counselor, herbal therapy, i mean there are HUNDREDS!!!!! If you can say that you know there is more help out there and then say blah… sounds like you just really dont want or think you need help. Thats sad….

Can i ask you what the nightmarish 4 years was about? Im thinking that has a big thing to do with why you are losing hope.

Ive never heard of body dysmorphic disorder but i just looked it up and i have a better view of what you have been going thru. What exactly do you have problems with? What body defects do you think you have?

I will say that i understand the girlfriend part (even tho im into guys! :p)
Its always nice to have someone there picking you up when your down so its not silly at all. Its silly to put all your happiness into another person like that because you may never find what you are truly about and what truly makes you happy. Having a companion is a good thing but its hard to share your life, your REAL life with someone if you dont know who you are.

Im really worried about you… I want to try to help you, even if its just talking everyday or so. I can understand if your sick of trying to find help especially when nothing seems to work. You start to feel like your messed up and nothing can be done about it… thats a hard feeling to live with. I felt like that about 5 days ago… now im starting to change. Thats why you feel its “meaningless”.. well im here to tell you that you ARE NOT MEANINGLESS!

Shout at me anytime you want. I dont mind talking at all!

I cry about you everyday. Fight, with all of yourself, fight,

oh beautiful boy, never again shall you do this.

I tried suicide once. It bites.

Have you ever tried hypnotherapy? I tried that while still going to regular therapy and that really helped. I actually only went to do the hypnosis thing two times and that seemed to really open me up to talking about some deeper things that I had previously been unwilling to talk to my regular therapist about. I was pretty shut down and didn’t talk much at all to that therapist prior to hypnosis. I had been in therapy for 6 years at that point and had made pretty insignificant progress because I wasn’t willing to talk. After the hypnotherapy, it was weird how I just started opening up so much. I honestly didn’t even feel hypnotized when I did the hypnosis. But somehow it did what it was supposed to do. I went from being angry at my therapist for prying so much and just not wanting to open up and talk to her to actually wanting to talk. I don’t really know. I guess it’s probably not for everyone, but sometimes it helps to try something a little off the beaten path so to speak. I’ve sought out a lot of alternative ways to help me cope with my issues. I’m taking some classes with a shaman right now and the classes are mostly focused on helping me figure out who I am and where I’m going in life. I still struggle with that sort of stuff even though I have made a full recovery from the body image problems and the eating disorder that I’d been dealing with up til 2006.

Anyway, I wish you all the best in your own self-healing journey.