Church help: I am an atheist. - Help.com

How old are you?

Are you parents hardcore on religion?

I think it would be hypocritical to disown you just because they do not beleive like you do. Although that is little comfort I guess.

I think that you may want to leave telling them until you are more financially and socially stable so that if they disown you then you have a place to stay.

In an ideal world I would say you should tell them. Unless it gets to the point where you become really uncomfortable with what they expect or ask you to do.

do what causes you the least amount of psychological distress: if you want to do so, stand up; if not, then be inauthentic for pragmatism.

Best thing i can think of is perhaps sit down and have a chat with your parents, im sure if they love you they wont disown you for your beliefs. just out of interest why did you become an atheist?

kain16 wrote:
Best thing i can think of is perhaps sit down and have a chat with your parents, im sure if they love you they wont disown you for your beliefs. just out of interest why did you become an atheist?

how does anyone become any ideological grouping, eh? that’s a page in itself.

n0tacr00 wrote:

kain16 wrote:
Best thing i can think of is perhaps sit down and have a chat with your parents, im sure if they love you they wont disown you for your beliefs. just out of interest why did you become an atheist?

how does anyone become any ideological grouping, eh? that’s a page in itself.

True but i was just wondering if it was a singular event.

do you, sticks, have a pathos reaction to telling your parents?

sticks_and_stones wrote:
because i dont believe that in a world this messed up can have a god. sometimes i dont think its that i dont believ in him its just that I really dislike him, but i dont know if that has a name

I am an atheist haveing attended a very religious pre-school. I asked Sister Joan why she dident know about dinosaurs (i was like 5) and she told me that i was a vile brat. That level of stupidity taught me to distance myself from those people pretty quick.

Back to the actual issue, surely your parents beliefs must include some sort of tolerence? if not, they are disproveing their own religion.

sticks_and_stones wrote:
a little yeah

well my brothers are atheists but theyve (my parents) always expected things of me they have always made me their “make up” child. They feel they screwed up withthtem so i have to be perfect and recently they found out things about me thy probably would have rather not known about.

Not really fair of them to put pressure on you like that then, and once you hit 16, theres little they can do. Just keep thinking freely. If your parents believe that their religion is more important than their own flesh and blood… well, i’ll not start to rant.

Good luck :)

oh dear, in that case, I myself would not do anything involving religion, but try breaking to them in such a way so they can’t try to “fold” you in and at the same time don’t alienate them, they are your parents, after all

My good friend was raised as a Jehovahs Wittness. She did not hold the same ideals as the religion and was defellowshiped a couple of years ago, as a result her parents also disowned her. Since then her 3 other siblings have chosen one by one to leave the religion and as is required by the religion, have been disowned by their parents.
They are sad that all their children have ‘left’ them, and now dont see their grandchildren, but they will not risk their faith. It is a sad story
My friend still loves and cares for her parents, but it has been beneficial for her to receive counseling as this is a great loss she is experiencing.
It sounds like your already able to accept there are some things that may change after talking about your faith with your parents, maybe you should have a look around at places for youths, research what options r available, housing, support, anything u think may be a factor,then u can decided what to do

I was raised catholic and went through 13 years of religion classes (public school for education, but religion classes each week). I never had to teach religion, so that wasn’t a concern, but in my early high school years (I don’t remember the exact age) I was to have my confirmation. This is when a catholic person “graduates” from classes and confirms having been baptised– or accepts it as an adult. One must get an adult sponser and stand in front of the congregation in front of the priest and repeat something or other which is the confirmation process.

Anyway, (sorry for the long explanation) when the time for this came up, I went to my mother and explained that I was not sure yet what I believed and did not want to confirm. She told me (and I quote): “Why don’t you just do it anyway, and maybe later you’ll believe and you’ll already have it done”. Ahem. I questioned the importance of the ritual if it wasn’t honest and pointed out how very shameful and utterly hypocritical it would be to go through with the ritual and stand in front of the entire congregation, in front of the priest, and in effect, LIE about my beliefs in the church. What would be the point of that?? I also pointed out that if I were to change my mind and find my faith in the future, that I could always return to the church to confirm and then it would actually mean something.

I do feel that you could approach this in the same way– if you were to discover your faith later, then you could return to teaching and have a true, inspiring story tell your students. In the meantime, however, it is the good moral values that your mother has helped successfully instill in you that make it impossible for you to continue teaching something which you do not believe. And it is obvious that you do have respect & care for her, regardless of your difference in beliefs.

I most definitely recommend explaining the way you feel to your mother in terms that you are still searching & are yet undecided about what you belive to avoid attempts to “save” you (in response to her thinking you are immediately a “lost cause”) or her believing she has yet again failed and to lessen the blow. Although if you are completely decided that you are definitely atheist, I am NOT encouraging lying. I, for instance, believe that while most people would consider me an atheist as I do not believe in God as those describe (the God that I believe has been created for us to put an explanation on the world around us), I think that I am more accurately agnostic because one of the reasons I don’t believe is that I think the world is infinitely more complex than our stories & explanations have thus far been able to describe. I think it egotistical to think we actually yet have a clue, I think we have only begun to scratch the surface. So while I don’t belive in “God” I don’t believe that I know everything, either, which means I can’t know that there isn’t something greater we haven’t thus far considered or haven’t attained the knowledge to understand.

You probably know best how likely it is that she would actually kick out of the house after having confronted the issue, but I recommend beginning with explaining that you are unsure what you believe, need some time to figure it out, and are morally opposed to teaching the classes in the meantime as a starting point. Frankly this gives you the option of “changing your mind” back so as not to lose a roof over your head if she actually threatens kicking you out.

It would no be the best situation if it comes to that, perhaps, but at least you’d have time to make preparations to go out on your own.

Good luck. I hope to know how it turns out.

P.S. I’d guess that with the absense of faith, she’ll need something to assure her that you have some direction. You definitely should figure out, if you haven’t yet, in which direction you are planning to go in with regards to a furtue/career. I am only guessing but I am sure you having some direction will be a great comfort to her with this revelation.