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My life feels empty.
I am in the last year of a PhD program. I have been married less than two years. I am in the process of starting a family. Yet all I want to do is sleep and watch T.V. I am not motivated to do anything. I get up and go to work and classes. I function. But I am miserable. I do no know why. I fear that my lack of motivation will lead to me not finishing this program and driving my husband away. I have gained 30 pounds. I don’t want to exercise. Where can I find motivation? How can I get back on track? What is wrong with me???
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You’re tired and have a lot on your mind by the sound of things. In these circumstances it is hard to re-motivate yourself but look at the positives. Last year of PhD not the first! married, starting a family all good things. Sounds like you just need a good holiday/break me time. Explain the situation to your husband and seek his support. Maybe exercise together.
Nothing is wrong with you. It is a typical feeling of PhD candidates at the very end of their schooling. You are tired, your mind is tired, thinking makes you tired. What could motivate you? The knowledge that soon it is over. Just a little more effort and you are done, accomplished what you wanted to do. The last steps are the most difficult ones. We see very often candidates like you quit because of overstimulated brain function. Spagg is right, you have too many things going on at once in your life. Just focus on finishing one so you can start a new.
This is only a quick fix but buy a bottle of sage. Yes, the spice. :O) Put a 1/4 teaspoon in a mug of hot water and sweeten it with honey or agave. Not sugar. It’s a natural mood enhancer.
Also, ditto what Beatrice, Spagg and most importantly, HelpBot said!
Gingooo that’s great. I will try it myself sometime.
Wow, thank all of you so much for responding. I was feeling desperate and typed the word “help” and this site came up. I am grateful that you all took the time to respond. Thank you.
Pleasure and take Gingooo’s drink advice.
Have you checked everything out with your doctor? I know these past school years are been extremely tiring but, it could be you have an ongoing virus. Best to rule anything else out because all you might do is concern yourself.
This is a time for celebration. You made it, very few do and you are on the road to accomplishing your dreams and now you will have the certificate that goes with it.
I salute you and hope you have continued happiness.
mswat, just take one step at a time. First finish your PhD. Many people would put wait on while studying, you will lose it once your studies are finished. You also need to lose that before getting pregnant. Right now just study and have fun. Everything else will follow.
What I meant weight not wait. arghhh
I was thinking about going to the doctor because I thought it may be physical instead of mental or maybe both. Someone suggested B12. Beatricegalant, I would not be so concerned about starting a family right not if I were not 38 years old. I feel like my clock is ticking away, not to mention the pressure from the family.
My friend said the same thing but she was 41 at that time. She just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy at the age of 44. You still have at least 5 years ahead of you. Don’t worry about those things, we can’t dictate nature. It will happen when it is right. You have to be in a more relaxing state of mind.
You are right. I have to stay focused on the present. Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I usually don’t reach out. (Playing the role of the strong woman).It really means a lot. I am moved by it.
You are most welcome and good luck and all the best in your life.
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