16.pregnant.options. - Help.com

No one can make this decision for you. You just have to do what you think is right for you. Now and in the future.

It’s your body. You’re still in school. The relationship won’t last forever.
Get an abortion.
So your parents don’t support you. At least rule out the other family’s preference. If your family won’t support your abortion, rake up enough cash to get one. Start working a job, now. You’re technically old enough to drop out of school until you have enough time to go back to studying. Have your boyfriend support you - both of you should be working together to get this money.
An abortion during the first trimester will cost anywhere from $500 - $1000.
In the meanwhile, try to get your parents to see your side of things. Ask them why abortion is wrong if no one even wanted the baby in the first place. Are you more important to them as an individual and their daughter than an accident?
I hope not.
So postpone your studies and start working now, get your boyfriend to do the same, and research to see how much local abortion clinics will charge you. Stay strong. You can do this and you will be prouder of yourself for diong so in the long run.

***i hope so, (not i hope not).
Sorry!

^okay, that’s a little blunt.
Every options has it’s pros and cons.
Just because your family doesn’t support abortion doesn’t mean you should have an abortion. Exactly the same as it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

This is a sad post. :(.

dear . don’t look after what is good for others.. just think of what is good for you..
you are the mother by the way so you are the only one who can decide.. don’t let yourself forced by anyone…
do what you think is good for you..

yeah, only you can make the descion. and this sounds terrible…but maybe nature will intervene and you will lose the baby. you should talk to a dr, or planned parenthood counselor or something. get all the options straight and go from there.

what do you want to do? Think carefully before you decide. You don’t want to regret it later.

Yes, if you get extremely stressed over this, chances are you will miscarriage anyway. So try to keep your cool because that is a painful and unexpected way to terminate a pregnancy, thus making it more stressful than a planned abortion.

Regrets are very hard to live with. Good luck.

ABORTION!!!! You should have a baby when YOU feel the time is right, and obviously it’s not now. DON’T RELY ON OTHERS TO RAISE YOUR ‘MISTAKE’ (even though I know you took all appropriate actions to avoid it, it was still a mistake, not blaming you, dear:) ) Just save yourself the hassle. They’ll all look down on your for a while, then eventually you’ll break up with them and move on with your life not wondering if your child is being taken care of properly in your absence… PLEASE DO YOURSELF THIS FAVOR!!!

Dear 16:
My heart goes out to you… wow. So much pressure, so many decisions that you have to make. I can definitely feel your distress.
What I want to suggest is to take some time in a quiet place that feels “safe” for you, and think about how everything will feel when the pressure of this huge decision is over. What ELSE are you going to feel/think about; what matters to you at that point that is hard to feel now because everything is so overwhelming? Forget about anyone else’s expectations and ask yourself: What will I wish for? What will I regret? What DOESN’T matter that I am currently worried about? Get down to the bottom of your heart, to who you really are and really want to be. You may be surprised.
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ps. I must add this, dear heart… yes, horrible things have been said & done by people who are against abortion so please don’t take this in that context… i simply want to say that your baby (i noticed you said it that way) is a part of your life now, for good or bad. The choices you make will be yours for life. Most women who see a picture of their baby inside them think about the choice very differently afterwards…. and nearly all who abort go through major emotional trauma over it afterwards, some for the rest of their life. Even if they have other children, there is always a grief and a sense of loss for the baby that’s not there. Please think with your heart now to save yourself so much grief later. It sounds like you have wonderful support. Why not give your baby a chance at life? If you aren’t ready to be the mom, you have already said that your mom will–or if that is too close for you to be able to handle, there are wonderful adoptive parents out there just longing for babies. Know that everything you do to give your baby a chance, you will find given back to you throughout your life… i will be praying for you. bless you dear

One other thing to think about, if your bf and his parents take the baby, unless you terminate your parental rights, you will be responsible for child support just like he would be if you keep it.

You have a hard decision to make. I know I did when I got pregnant a little sooner than I would have liked. I kept my son and he is really a joy to have around. I am really glad that I allowed him to have a life.

wow i really didn’t expect so many abortion suggestions. i thought everyone would say something along the lines of- abortion is murder! don’t do it. but instead there were quite a few of you who were pro abortion.

well thanks everyone for replying. its ncie to hear suggestions, especially when i am so confused as to what to do. i reli didn’t expect people to hope i would have a miscarriage…

i was actully leaning towards the idea of having the baby and my mum raising it. of course i never planned to completely hand over all resposibilty to my mum, i realise it would be my baby..i was jsut going to let her look after it whilst i’m at school and work- which i suppose i’ll have to start.

but should i carry on with school at all?

MothMan wrote:
When my son was born he looked just like my dad, he died a year before the wrinkled little old man was born.

i thought this was a very good point but so many saying i should get an abortion. my family would give my money to get one if i really wanted one. they’re really supporting me, whatever my desicion is.

i subconciously let myself think of it as a baby- didn’t even realise…do you think i’m wrong in doing so?

so confused right now. i wasn’t planning to get an abortion but your views really made me look at this differently. is it wrong to allow my mum to look after it, am i really capable of being a mum myself. i shuddder jsut at the thought of it. i’m sure you’ll all say at the age of 16, idefinitly am incapable. so many questions. don’t know what to do.

Just because you are physically and instinctively capable of being a mom, it does not mean that you are completely ready to be a mom.
An ideal mom wants to be a mom, which is why she tries to conceive the baby in the first place.
If your parents really support you fully as you say, and the first choice you mentioned was abortion, and your school and future are very important to you, and you don’t want to drag your boyfriend around throughout the rest of your life…
Just get proactive with the abortion. Trust your first instinct.
You can look at it as a baby. Life does start at conception. I, myself, have read gruesome stories and viewed gruesome pictures of abortion. But the idea behind getting an abortion is not to be gruesome at all.
It is only disgusting if you are actually stupid enough to look inside of the sink after the procedure, to see what the doctor did with your fetus, only to scar your mind for life.
So good luck, and for heaven’s sake, please don’t look in the sink. Just leave the clinic. I genuinely wish you well.

I wouldn’t say you’re incapable…afterall, it happens everyday. You would BECOME capable, or else you’d be one of those irresponsible ****-tards of a mother but this doesn’t sound like you. In Africa I’m sure 16 yr olds have 10 kids already! But, they also don’t have opportunities for a job, travel, or much of a life at all, really, and they die a lot sooner. The case for abortion is the case for another chance at living your life for YOU. When you have a child, you devote your life to it, mainly. You don’t come first anymore. And in our society 16 is pretty darn young to be putting someone else’s life ahead of your own, you aren’t even officially an adult yet. And yes, there will always be remorse, tinges of regret, you can ‘what if’ yourself to death, but that’s simply the price you pay if you choose abortion. Don’t let that emotional trauma stop you, if you made the right descision your heart will heal. Life gets complicated the longer you live it, each new experience will color it and some will be happy and some won’t be. But it’s either You or the Baby, a mother is never the same once she’s brought life into the world. Good luck, dear.

The most common reason young women have for taking the abortion route is that they can keep their pregnancy a secret from their family.
Your family is supportive. It seems to me that they have done a wonderful job of raising you. You have the good sense to know that your choice will have results that will stay with you over your entire lifetime. A child is to be cherished and nurtured. Your can have it all. Your parents will help you with your baby. You will complete your education and provide a wonderful home of your own for yourself and your child. Also, your boyfriend may surprise you with how fast he becomes a man who can shoulder responsibilities and be a good father to the baby you and he conceived.

My daughter, who was conceived when I was your age, would argue in favor of motherhood for you. She has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Not only that, but she is making a difference in the lives of many other people today. By the way, she is 43 years old now. I had lot of support from my family and I have supported them in their old age. That is what families do.

ok thank you for your help
i won’t be able to provide for the baby
and its wrong of me to shove the responsibilty to my mum
families will give me a hard time for a while
but i guess its the right thing to do
abortion scheduled
scared stiff

I’m so proud of you!!! It sounds like you’re looking at this very realistically and I hope you always stand by your choice. It is scary, but abortions are safer than going through pregnancy, so there shouldn’t be much to worry about there. And yes, you’ll have to be very strong to defend your choice to the families (unless they’re having a more compassionate turn of heart lately) but, if they’re good people I think deep down they’ll feel you were right too. They may act horrified for a while, but as time goes on and everyone’s lives get back to normal they’ll probably be glad everything wasn’t upturned unexpectedly trying to plan for the next 18 years of an unwanted child’s life. And remember, it’s ok to miss it, regret at times, doubt your choice, but just vow to yourself that if/when you have a planned baby you’ll be all the more ready to give it the love and care you’d be struggling to provide for this one. It’ll be like having 2 babies in one, maybe! :) I wish you all the best…