I feel as if I wasted away my life.
I’m 25 and already have three kids, and am all settled.
I have lived so much during these 25 years, I really have.
But none of the nice stuff.
All the things you’re supposed to enjoy in your teens, I have never experienced them.
I feel as though my whole youth has been taken away from me.
I feel as though I’ve been born as an adult.
I’ve had to wait 20 years to eventually start living.
I’m more than happy with my life now, but I just regret all the thing I have never been able to live when I should have lived them…
…sorry just a bit blue these days…
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What thing do you feel you missed out on in your teens? And what ‘nice stuff’?
proms, parties, hanging out with normal teens, having fun…
worrying only about what boys thought about me, who was dating who and the next maths test.
I’ve never had all that.
Lilly invited 13 users to read this post 4 years, 9 months ago.
That’s interesting that you regret missing proms, parties, hanging out with normal teens…
So many people look at their high school (late teen years) and find numerous painful memory associated wuth proms, parties, hanging out with normal teens…
Maybe you were luck in this regard???
Just a thought
I wonder how many people actually did all of that stuff in their teens anyway? I mean you only ever heard about the ones who did and they always seemed to be in their group of a few dozen of the ‘really cool people’.
I’d rather remember living my teens as a teenager, even in a painful way than living my teens as a teen who had to grow up too fast…
I’d rather remember proms, parties, and hanging out with normal teens than remember drugs, violence, lame jobs and hanging with messed up young adults.
Don’t know what to say really.
How are the triplets doing anyway?
the triplets are doing fine thank you.
they walk now :)
Events of our teen years have a more profound effect on our lives than we realize at the time. I know there are events that still effect me more than two decades removed from my teen years. I also share your feeling of loss in the teen years because of a painful move (relocation) I was forced to make.
As you stated, I really did not do all of those teen things either but my ‘growing up’ was a result of a choice to leave home as soon as possible. Either way, there are always some regrets with any decision you make I think the worst possible situation is being forced to endure the result of a decision you have no voice in deciding.
It is trite to say that you can’t change the past but you do have choices in the present and future. If there is something you want to do, find a way and do it. Just because you’re 25 doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some things that teenagers do.
Yes, you have a family to think about and raise. That’s a huge responsibility. But if there is anything I regret in my two score plus years on this Earth, it is that I did not make and / or take enough opportunities to pursue the fun things in life whenever I could.
I know exactly what you mean Lilly. I wish I could do it all over again. Don’t worry though, just because your a mom at an early age does not mean your doomed for ever. In just a short time you will get a chance to re-live your teen years through your children. You will have three proms, tonnes of exams and lots of parties.
dont feel blue =(
just because u missed out on some stuff doesnt mean that u r lost forever
just smile and be happy =)
trust me some of the stuff be glad u missed
i think thats cool… im unsure y… maybe cause ur so put together.. ? idk… its confusing
ur only 25
and ur still so young…
u didn’t miss much… but yeah u did miss :(
not the extraordinary
what u missed was the only time u can go around and not have to worry about bills, or jobs, or any of the responsibilities as an adult
its a sense of freedom before u get handed ur last diploma
its rebellion and just a craze for some sort of adventure or excitement… something to look back on if you get through it
proms only look magnificent in the movies, as well as everything else they film
drugs are trouble and just something mysterious… the kids that solve the mystery usually dont end up where they wanted to
hanging out is sitting in someones empty room thinking of something to do, but end up doing nothing
everyhting else is biys
boys boys boys boys boys boys and maybe even girls here and there haha
but that’s not bad to miss.
you had kids - u have youth that u brought into this world
don’t live through them
but make sure they live
in every way possible
because someone said a life unlived isnt worth living
by the way, your life was lived.
i can just tell… ur living every day unwasted… thats why ur so put together
u hav kids and ur SETTLED
ur jelous of me because i had lazy days but im so jealous of you
you want a solution tho??
high school reunions?
but really your only 25!!!! you have all the time in the world :)
Trust me… you didn’t miss out on anything. On the contrary, you are blessed with children, there is nothing more fulfilling. Even though I am young I realize. (Philosophy is killer! :D)
I see my friends into all that, parties, prom and “hanging around” are fun for a few days. I mean how much fun is sitting around idle when you could be playing with kids… rediscovering yourself in them. That is an amazing feeling. I have a lot of cousins who make me smile and amaze at how much fun I must have been to watch and play with…(I miss them now :()
Don’t worry about what’s gone, (mostly because it wasn’t too much)… lest you miss out on what you have.
Good luck! :D You’ll come out of the blues and feel red soon :)
You say you miss out on these things, but not every kid goes to the prom and the parties of the year - And a lot of them still have fun and remember their childhood for the bits they enjoyed!
Being in the blues about the past is common, mainly cos you can’t change it. But what you can influence is your future, and at 25, you’ve got nothing to worry about. With so much of your life still to go and a family to share it with, the world is your oyster. Sure, it may not seem as spontaneous but planned fun is just as good! Enjoy your days, now - You don’t want to be in this same place in 50 years time.
Its 3 AM right now and just woke up from a recurring nightmare I’ve had since my late teens. I am 23 in a week and feel exactly like you do. I read your post after doing some random search on google. I hear ya - my teens were spent in hospitals, drug houses, and degrading rehab programs for vulnerable youth to be preyed on my sick “counselors”. For what it’s worth you’re not alone… Sometimes that’s the only thing that gives me comfort (believing I’m not alone in all of this). Maybe one day 10 of us will meet in a late night diner and find some kind of satisfaction just knowing we have other people. Chances are you have a good sense of humor. For some reason people who have gone through the worst in life have the best senses of humor. I dunno, best of luck to you, I mean it.
Some day everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. Also, “Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid all the bulls***, take chances and never have regrets, because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.”
you have to remember that everything happens for a reason.
try to put those years behind you and look forward to what the future holds, and enjoy what you have now. You can’t change the past now, so dont waste time dwelling on it or you will regret wasting that time. Everybody has regret no matter how big or small, and many people have the same situation as you, learn from your expierience to make you a stronger person.
It’s probably a good thing you weren’t able to be involved in your teenage years because maybe the wrong things coul have happened like drugs,alcohol,gangs, thing like that. Don’t be regretful, just be the great mother that you are to those kids that need you ! Your still young !! Why is it to late to stop enjoying your life now ? I’m 29 and had my first child at 21 and I still wasn’t able to enjoy my teen years because of a serious relationship. So, you have to look at it in a good way. And plus, it’s probably made you a whole lot stronger too, right ? I had a really bad past and was always being regretful, but it just holds you back from moving forward ! Let go of the past and look forward to the years ahead! God Bless You and your Children !
Hey Lily, Im on the same page as you. I graduated high school in June 2009. It wasn’t until half way through my senior year that I realized that most students I went to high school with were losers. They meant nothing to me. I go to parties probably max 2 per year. I would be lucky to squeeze one into a year. Also, I think the worst part about all of it is that in grade 9 I threw a new years party. Many people came but I was never invited to a party. Now that high school is done I am more focused on academics. I am confident career wise and I am a lot less afraid of growing up than most people in my class. My advice is say screw them all. They departed different ways for a reason and if there not in your life now to help you out they`re worthless. I can go all day on this topic.
Lilly you have your kids im 48yrs old i live in colorado spent time in the army lived germany but no kids look in to there beutiful faces and love life
If you really have to remember “drugs, violence, lame jobs and hanging with messed up young adults” I feel sorry for you. But on the other hand, if you now have 3 children and are “all settled”, and if the picture really is of you, you have a lot going for you. So enjoy every new day just as it comes, look forward to the many years ahead of you, and if you find yourself looking back on your unhappy teenage years, feel proud that you got through them without losing your self-respect.
Robert, Switzerland (but British)
this happens when you have nothing to do………engage yourself with creative activities….and if you have much time then do chating on yahoo or some other messanger tool… u see, by doing this you will feel like a teen again and you will fall into those things which u have left few years back………..KEEP SMILING.. i myself feeling blues somethings cos i am not able to give time to my personal liyfe…i am not able to balance my work and recreation…
Hey! Listen you shouldn’t be upset about wasting for life! Even though you didn’t experience what some teens experience. You should make new memories and forget about your past! It’s all about the present and the future.
forget about wasting your life.. you didnt waste your life. you are living it. enjoy it every day. be thankful for what you have and what you got to experience that no one else did. regret doesnt make anything better. never regret anything inyour life.. becuase everything is an experience. you are so lucky to have 3 beautiful children. and you are lucky that you are young enough to enjoy their lives with them. you can relate to them. and be a young mum who gets her kids!! live your life without regrets.
Maybe death isn’t that bad of a option
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