Relationships help: boy question…. - Help.com



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boy question…

. what should I do ? (i know this is obnoxiously long, but i thougth maybe id feel better after i typed it all out lol)

im a sophomore & i have a really close guy friend and we mutually like each other and have ad mitted it to each other. he has a girlfriend and they hvae a pretty ****** relationship from what he tells me (which is kind of a lot) because she screams at him out of jealousy every day and basically doesn’t let him be friends with any other fgirls, even though she hangs out with guys he doesn’t like and gets drunk with them. he basicly said hed break up with her if it werent for the fact that she lost all her friends after they started goin out, bc he dated her friend.

for awhile i was always keeping my distance and encouraging him to work out ot heir issues and stay together, but now i just feel really jealous & hurt that im not with him. he seems like he would go out with me if i really pressured him to, but obviously i think that would b really wrong and also, i doubt we would stay together relly long anyway (ive never really been in a relationship and i think i hate it, its so stupid in high school bc u see the person nonstop and have to feel the need to display PDA in front of everyone… i’m sure u know what i’m talkin about) plus i dont want to be one of like 30 girls hes gone out with, i feel lik eits shallow.

were really close friends tho, and if it werent for him i’d braely have any social life at all. me and him and a few people r always hanging out every weekend and hes really nice ot me and i just feel like i can really depend on him. but bieng around him is just killing me, plus prom is coming up in two weeks and i’ll have to see them together even though all they do now is fight and i have absolutely none else to go with. they’re having so many issues though and she told him she didn’t feel attracted to him anymore a week ago and yet they’re still “together”. or a month ago they decided to break up and i was thinking that maybe things would change, and yet they were literally making out with each other the next day at school saying they were going to “work out their issues together”.

i know the right thing would be to back off and stop hanging out with him. but i just cant stop talking to him no matter how much i try. theres noone i have as good of a time with and my social life is dead without him. i just feel horrible because we sort of flirt with each other, but he’s one of the only people i can count on right now, and hes always there for me and cares about me as a person instead o fjust some girl he wants 2 ****. im so hurt that hes not with me and yet im scared that if he was it would just fall apart really fast. but im sick of him calling me every time theyre in a fight and then if she calls him back he hangs up with me, even tho he says hed rather talk to me. should i find the selfcontrol to stop hanging out with him, even tho my social life will be pretty much nonexistant after that? is he wrong to push me to continue being friends w/him even tho it hurts me that im not with him? how should i deal witht his?

This open post was written 8 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 196, 7, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Anonymous edited this post 8 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

boy question…. what should I do ?

im a sophomore & i have a really close guy friend and we mutually like each other and have ad mitted it to each other. he has a girlfriend and they hvae a pretty ****** relationship from what he tells me (which is kind of a lot) because she screams at him out of jealousy every day and basically doesn’t let him be friends with any other fgirls, even though she hangs out with guys he doesn’t like and gets drunk with them. he basicly said hed break up with her if it werent for the fact that she lost all her friends after they started goin out, bc he dated her friend.

for awhile i was always keeping my distance and encouraging him to work out ot heir issues and stay together, but now i just feel really jealous & hurt that im not with him. he seems like he would go out with me if i really pressured him to, but obviously i think that would b really wrong and also, i doubt we would stay together relly long anyway (ive never really been in a relationship and i think i hate it, its so stupid in high school bc u see the person nonstop and have to feel the need to display PDA in front of everyone… i’m sure u know what i’m talkin about) plus i dont want to be one of like 30 girls hes gone out with, i feel lik eits shallow.

were really close friends tho, and if it werent for him i’d braely have any social life at all. me and him and a few people r always hanging out every weekend and hes really nice ot me and i just feel like i can really depend on him. but bieng around him is just killing me, plus prom is coming up in two weeks and i’ll have to see them together even though all they do now is fight and i have absolutely none else to go with. they’re having so many issues though and she told him she didn’t feel attracted to him anymore a week ago and yet they’re still “together”. or a month ago they decided to break up and i was thinking that maybe things would change, and yet they were literally making out with each other the next day at school saying they were going to “work out their issues together”.

i know the right thing would be to back off and stop hanging out with him. but i just cant stop talking to him no matter how much i try. theres noone i have as good of a time with and my social life is dead without him. i just feel horrible because we sort of flirt with each other, but he’s one of the only people i can count on right now, and hes always there for me and cares about me as a person instead o fjust some girl he wants 2 ****. im so hurt that hes not with me and yet im scared that if he was it would just fall apart really fast. but im sick of him calling me every time theyre in a fight and then if she calls him back he hangs up with me, even tho he says hed rather talk to me. should i find the selfcontrol to stop hanging out with him, even tho my social life will be pretty much nonexistant after that? is he wrong to push me to continue being friends w/him even tho it hurts me that im not with him? how should i deal witht his?

Jinx offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

First of all, are you sure you two aren’t just meant to be best friends? I mean, it sounds like you two have a great relationship already. You can depend on each other and you make each other happy together. Do you really want to lose that friendship?

Second, maybe you should think of the pros and cons of the two of you getting together as more then friends. Make a list of the good and the bad and see which you think is worth it.

Third, it sounds like he’s with this girl just to be with someone. I don’t think either of them are really commited. That’s a bad relationship, he should get out of that if he can.

Now, about your social life. High school doesn’t say much about your social life. I know a lot of people who were geeks in high school but super popular in college. Don’t worry too much about it. Enjoy your grad (go with a couple of girls or something) and get to know people outside of your circle. You’ll be surprised at how many of those people could be your best friend. Just go with the flow, and if this guy is the only reason you have a social life then what does that say about your other friends?

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Anonymous #
8 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

idk

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ScarofLo18 offline Verified User (10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 18 #
An Undisclosed Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

I don’t think you should stop being friends with him. If you’re a really good friend then you could learn to live with him being with another person. If their relationship is falling apart then they most likely won’t be together much longer anyways.

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Help me with: Sometimes I wonder.
Jinx offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
idk

Very good advice Anon :P

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Anonymous #
8 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Jinx wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
idk
Very good advice Anon :P

tnx! that was long. i could only read one to two sentences

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bradmaste offline Verified User (11 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

After hearing you descibe this guy I think you should go for it. You only regret the things in life you DONT do. Take it from an old dude. If he’s talking to you when he in trouble with his gf that means your practically there. Just do it. If your good together, stay together and forget the pda stuff. Let him know by action your into him but set yourself apart from the other 30 girls by only showing it to him in private if that makes you feel better. It will set you apart from the girls that are all too happy to smother him in public. If not, just be friends after. I was always able to stay friends with the girls it didnt work out with if everyone stays cool. Thats the thing about girlfriends/boyfriends, if they dont make you happy, fire em. When you get married its permanent. So so be happy and see if this dude is for you. If he sucks and doesnt want you then it will prob be a turn off to you anyway and you can go on. Just my opinion.

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