What do you think of this?
Ok, so I applied to a RP guild on a website. I never got a reply, so I would like to see what you guys think of my application. The requirements were that it had to be in third person and under 2000 characters. Here goes nothing.
Chrissie glanced around the empty room, fear filling her eyes. “Is anybody here?” She asked the darkness. It answered with a gust of wind that whistled through the chain-link fence nearby. She shivered involuntarily as her body and subconscious reacted to the wind. Each passing moment made her more and more anxious. “Anybody?” She asked again.
“Yes?” A mysterious figure answered. His dark outline was all that could be seen by the scared teenage girl. His figure grew in size as he walked towards Chrissie.
Chrissie fell down, taking an involuntary step backwards to place distance between the shady man and her. “Who are you?” Her voice shook with the fear that cursed through her veins.
“Don’t you remember me? Maybe you never noticed me before. I know you. I know about every move you make. Your cute, fearful reactions allure me more than you could ever comprehend in your small, naïve mind.” He stepped closer and swept his hand down Chrissie’s long, brown hair, holding on to the ends as he spoke. “I watch you. I have watched you for what seems like forever. I know where you eat, sleep, read. I know what books you read, what shows you watch, your favorite subject, and your least favorite subject.”
Chrissie scooted backwards, but to no avail. He followed, coming even closer this time. “You don’t like me. Why is this when I love you so much, my little Chrissie?” After a moment of silence, he spoke again. “Shall I show you how much I love you?”
Chrissie trembled again, still trying to escape. His mouth was on hers. The kiss was violent, and hurt as he bit her lip.
Chrissie let out a scream. She jerked herself into a sitting position, still screaming from the horrid nightmare she had just woken herself from. Fear continued to cause her to tremble, and as she attempted to calm herself, she heard a tapping on the window that threw her into a new set of convulsions. “It was just a dream. It was just a dream. ” She chanted aloud as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
This open post was written 8 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 125, 21, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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Since writing this post Silver-Lined Clouds may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Silver-Lined Clouds is a verified member, has been around for 8 months, 3 weeks and has 10 posts and 38 replies to their name.
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Silver-Lined Clouds edited this post 8 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »
What do you think of this?
Ok, so I applied to a RPG guild on a website. I never got a reply, so I would like to see what you guys think of my application. The requirements were that it had to be in third person and under 2000 characters. Here goes nothing.
Chrissie glanced around the empty room, fear filling her eyes. “Is anybody here?” She asked the darkness. It answered with a gust of wind that whistled through the chain-link fence nearby. She shivered involuntarily as her body and subconscious reacted to the wind. Each passing moment made her more and more anxious. “Anybody?” She asked again.
“Yes?” A mysterious figure answered. His dark outline was all that could be seen by the scared teenage girl. His figure grew in size as he walked towards Chrissie.
Chrissie fell down, taking an involuntary step backwards to place distance between the shady man and her. “Who are you?” Her voice shook with the fear that cursed through her veins.
“Don’t you remember me? Maybe you never noticed me before. I know you. I know about every move you make. Your cute, fearful reactions allure me more than you could ever comprehend in your small, naïve mind.” He stepped closer and swept his hand down Chrissie’s long, brown hair, holding on to the ends as he spoke. “I watch you. I have watched you for what seems like forever. I know where you eat, sleep, read. I know what books you read, what shows you watch, your favorite subject, and your least favorite subject.”
Chrissie scooted backwards, but to no avail. He followed, coming even closer this time. “You don’t like me. Why is this when I love you so much, my little Chrissie?” After a moment of silence, he spoke again. “Shall I show you how much I love you?”
Chrissie trembled again, still trying to escape. His mouth was on hers. The kiss was violent, and hurt as he bit her lip.
Chrissie let out a scream. She jerked herself into a sitting position, still screaming from the horrid nightmare she had just woken herself from. Fear continued to cause her to tremble, and as she attempted to calm herself, she heard a tapping on the window that threw her into a new set of convulsions. “It was just a dream. It was just a dream. ” She chanted aloud as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Silver-Lined Clouds changed the tags on this post: they were "RPG, randomness, story" 8 months, 2 weeks ago.
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