Love help: I am angry, upset, frustrated, depressed, confused…..

conundrum88

I am angry, upset, frustrated, depressed, confused…

.. This is so stupid…. I’m really starting to feel overwhelmed with life and it’s complexities….. Life shouldn’t be this frustrating and stupid…. but I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with a lot of stuff that has gone on lately. Maybe you guys can just offer your opinions before I lose my mind….. So i’ll give you a small peak into my life and what’s bothering me:

First the one thing that’s bothering me is a girl (so cliche… i know… stupid….) but it’s a very complicated situation. This girl is one of my friend’s ex-girlfriends. I actually have liked her for a long time and she says she’s had a crush on me for a long time. Basically what happened, from the beginning, is she ended up breaking up with my friend and cheated on him with one of my other friends. Then later on she finds that this guy isn’t who she thinks he is and let’s him go too…. Later on she hooks up with my best friend but apparently decides that she just wants to be friends with him and that she wants to be with me. I can’t help but tell her how I feel. I know I should be angry and just totally shrug this off, but for some reason I still have feelings for her. I mean some stuff has happened between me and her, and now me and my best friend aren’t talking anymore. She still wants to be with me apparently, but she constantly hangs out with my best friend cuz she doesn’t want to lose him as a friend, and neither do I. I’m forced to pick between my friends and her, but I don’t really want to, I want both. I tell her it’s ok to hang out with my best friend (although i’m not sure where he and I stand) and I can’t help but feel that maybe something is still going on between them. I’m not sure who to believe anymore, I’m running out of people to talk to. I’ve tried talking to other people and they’re telling me they don’t want to see me get hurt and that I should just drop her. But if I drop her I mean I feel like I’m really losing out and I’m not even sure if me and my best friend can really be friends anymore. I have a feeling that he is still pursuing her and I’m not sure if I could really live with that. I thought maybe I could give it some time and let everybody cool off a bit and we could all become friends again. Maybe she’s just hanging out with him and trying to keep their friendship in tact, or so it seems. I’m not sure, she tells me to trust her but I don’t feel like I can trust her, but why do I still have feelings for her? I’m kind of angry because I feel like she’s not telling me everything. I’m depressed and upset because of how everything has turned out (although I guess I brought it all upon myself); and now I’m here confused not knowing what to think or what I should do now…. I want to wait, until everybody has built up their friendships again, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose her (if I haven’t lost her already) and I feel like I can’t trust her, like maybe she’s not telling me something but I just can’t seem to let go. She says she loves me and wants to be with me and I feel the same way too and it seems sincere when I talk to her face to face about it, but I just have this inner feeling of doubt….

On top of all this I’m in college following a program I’m not even too sure about or where it’s going to take me (culinary management/chef school) and I’m just feeling so overwhelmed with assignments, post-graduation programs it’s really hard to give this other things some real thought without getting caught up with school….. I mean I think I’ll follow through with what I’m doing and give it a shot, but I’m afraid I’m wasting time and money if this isn’t really what I want to do….. All this stuff has really been bothering me lately, please help…. I just feel like I’m gonna snap soon and do something stupid…..

This open post was written 4 years, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 4,902, 10, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post conundrum88 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. conundrum88 is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 7 months and has 8 posts and 50 replies to their name.

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IamArn 1 #
Glasgow, V2, GB | 4 years, 2 months ago (7 minutes after post)

ok… easy one first, if you aint sure, stick eith the course, if wosrt case happens and it aint what you wana do, you’ve got an extra qualification to your name.

Secondly: the girl.
i would talk to you best friend, and let him know whats happening. the Girl could be just playing you all for saps, or maybe does like one of yous. either way, theres no point losing a friend that close without a good reason, and sorry ladies, but a flirt in a skirt aint one in my mind.

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Amethysteria 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (12 minutes after post)

I know this is hard, but take some time to yourself and meditate a bit - what I mean by that is, think about what makes you happy.
Get a thorough understanding of that, including activities and people with certain moral values.
Then reconsider how much satisfaction cooking brings you, and how much satisfaction your social circle’s values bring you. The social circle sounds unstable. The girl cheated on so many before, she may do the same to you. Early love confessions are also ingenuine.
Try to get lost in your education until you recover from the emotional and social distress. By then, perhaps if you aren’t satisfied, you’ll realize you just need to choose a new career path to follow - while making a new social circle and meeting new potential loves along the way.

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Foskey 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (26 minutes after post)

Im sorry to say this, and i mean no offense, but this girl isnt worth it. I dont know her at all, but it seems like she’s playing you all. If your instincts are telling you not to trust her, then follow it. She cheated on her ex in the past, who’s to say she won’t do it again. If she ends up breaking your heart later on, you won’t have your friends to help you out. i know that sounds harsh and im not trying to be mean, but losing close friends over a girl you know you cant trust just isnt worth it.
I think you should try to save your friendship, and afterwards focus on your school work. The reason why everything seems so hard is probably because your focusing all your time and energy on this girl instead of school. I wish you the best of luck and just remember to choose what you think is best for you. :)

jjbc2k #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (57 minutes after post)

tl;dr

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conundrum88 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (59 minutes after post)

I don’t know. I’ve confronted her about all this. And she says that her feelings for me are different, and that what we have pretty much totally blows whatever she has with everybody else out of the water. I mean I don’t want to lose my friends, and the idea was to re-build back up the friendships. Also I’m trying my hardest to get lost in school, but when I’m there I just can’t stop thinking about my social situation, but then when I’m at home I’m trying to keep myself busy so I don’t think about it too much, it’s even getting to the point at which I’m finding it hard to sleep. I’m trying my hardest to focus on school, but this keeps bothering me, I’m not sure what to do. I know that like the sensible thing would be to let this girl go, but I’m finding it really hard to let her go and this is constantly on my mind and distracting me….

Foskey 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

I think you should talk to a consoler, mabey you have codependacy issues. (idk im just guessing)ummmm……… Alright anyway here’s what i suggest you should do: stick around with the girl for a little while longer, and if the situation continues to get worse and you still dont trust her, let her go. dont think twice about it, just drop it no questions. But hey, again its your choice, im not tryna force anything or tell you how to live your life. if you feel like this girl is honestly worth all the trouble, then go for it. You should do what makes you happy, dont let other poeple control your feelings. do it for you. if its a mistake, well its a mistake you would have to learn from.

conundrum88 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 21 minutes after post)

I’m not even sure where to find a counsellor to be honest. I’ve talked to my doctor about this kind of stuff (well the school stuff), but she referred me to some psychiatrist or something but it requires me to go through health insurance and stuff. I’m currently covered under a plan by my parents, and I really don’t talk to them about this sort of thing and I would hate for them to find out that I need to go to a psychoolgist or psychiatrist. They would definitely ask me why and I don’t want to have to deal with that…. What kind of options do I have?

pnvprati #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 2 months ago (2 hours, 46 minutes after post)

When i read this post of yours , it gets back some old memories for me …
I think the problem is there is to much thinking going on in your head.
I think the best way forward is to get everything out … talk to your best friend and tell him about what you think of the girl and what is happening .. Talk to the girl and tell her the same thing … Tell both of them exactly what you think and what you want…. If you think your girl and ur best friend has something going tell them about this and ask them for the real truth … Be very straight forward in what you are saying you may sound mean or harsh at first but it will help clear things up.
You should also tell your friend about his importance in your life.
Ask them for there take and then decide what you want.
There is a strong probability that you will end up losing one of the two for a but if they really care about you they will come back.. It will take time but they will come back.
Take it from me you will feel a lot better when u pour your heart out to them and they will understand.
My friends did ..

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just_chat8 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 8 months ago (5 months, 3 weeks after post)

i think the prob z too simple to understand but for the person having it,its too dificult to solve.
if the girl has cheated her x’s,she can do same thing wd u guys bt we dnt know dat was there any reason of her to leave them,so v cant say that she is a constant cheater.
u should just remmbr dat the both(girl n ur frnd) are not upset,means dat dnt u think she’s doing wrong to u(being slefish may b)bt how mch time will it take…to when will u tell ur frnd abt ur hidden love.u should call them both n invite them to a dinner or for coffee at some peaceful place(call them separately), then u n ur frnds can talk abt dat.u just have to make dem sure dat u love both of them n they r too mch importnt 4 u.n then ur condition n at last u should tell them abt reason of ur dipression.and ask them if u have any value in their life then they should make a good dicision 4 u.
BT MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO CONFERM THAT WHEN U WILL TELL THEM ALL DAT ,THE GIRL WILL NOT REFUSE THAT SHE HAS TOLD U DAT SHE LOVES u.
DUE TO THIS ,U WILL LOSE BOTH OF THEM
DATS A GOLDEN ADVICE 4 EVERY ONE HAVING SAME OR ABOUT SAME PROB TO MAKE EVERYTHING CLEAR TOTALLY…….its true try it.REALLY
HOPE GOOD 4 ALL OF U TC BYE

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chrls.thorpe #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 9 months ago (1 year, 4 months after post)

i hear ya mane going thru it too what i did was drop the girl helps after a couple weeks

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