San Francisco help: My son is 25 years old and is gay. - Help.com



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My son is 25 years old and is gay.

He is trying and feels he needs and wants a relationship to make him happy. He is so stressed when things do not go right with the relationship. These feelings are consuming his life. He has graduated from college and keeps looking for fields to work in but can’t really figure anything out. His main thoughts are finding someone to love him and he in return loves. He is so unhappy. He is seeing a doctor but I know it will take time. I don’t know to help make him understand he needs to be happy with himself before he can be happy with another mate. His self esteem is poor. I feel we talk about the same stuff all the time and he says he is listening but really he is not. He keeps moving away from the failed relationships and only makes the same descisions again. It is time for him to really take his future into his own hands. Any advice?

This open post was written 8 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 213, 9, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Proff. Vampress ;p offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (3 minutes after post)

maytbe he is not meant to be gay.

but there is nothin g wrong with it

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workrb offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

not really sure about that he just so unhappy

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Proff. Vampress ;p offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (7 minutes after post)

well, talk to him an dihs partner, or just his partner and tell him how he feels.

like i say there is nothing wrong with being gay, he may feel upset cause he is so different and ppl teat him strangely cause hes gay

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PheeGee offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 133 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (12 minutes after post)

Its horrible but you know, hes got to figure it out himself.

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predatorkick offline Verified User (11 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (55 minutes after post)

Really try to get the message through to him that he needs to take his future in his own hands and do something good with it! Also tell him about the whole you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else thing.

Good Luck!!!!!

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justsumguy428 offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 56 minutes after post)

People have the same problems whether gay or not. His preferences in partners is not the issue. It takes time for anyone to find someone you are meant to be with. takes alot of time.

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gbentenz offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (4 hours, 32 minutes after post)

i guess i don’t get exactly your point… he is seeing a doctor because he is gay? i never went to a doctor for him to tell me what to do just because i was born with green eyes. i know green eyes are more appreciated than being gay, but it’s something you can not change. we born gay and some other people born hetero, as some people born with darker or lighter skin. i guess the only thing he has to know is that it’s natural being gay or straight.
but i don’t know where u live, and i know that there are still several cultures which are not yet “sensitive” for that fact. maybe i’m a lucky guy who happened to born and grow up in Europe where there’s no issues about that.
i recommend you to help him sending/sponsor him to go abroad and live abroad for a couple of years, studying, working, etc other cultures will help him finding himself. till the day he will accept himself the way he is, he will not find self-honesty which means that he will not be full happy with himself.

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PheeGee offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 133 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (4 hours, 34 minutes after post)

i think you misunderstood, i dont think hes seeing a doctor because of that, but cos hes sad all the time and seemingly has no direction.

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anomonuss offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 8 months ago (8 hours, 53 minutes after post)

I think maybe he should get some counselling… because at times people dont want to open up and feel weak infront of family/loved ones because they dont want them to see him or her as vulrenable.

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