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it seems like the more i try the more i run into problems.first
i would like to bring up when me n my fiance argue.i feel like hes always lieing to me or doing something behind my back,not cheating i know he loves me and i know he wouldnt do that.ok ill take it back to when we first started dating lil more then a year ago.we started dating and i got pregnant rite away,lil did i know that he was doing drugs,not just weed.after dealing with it for a lil bit i got sick of it,so i gave him the ring back and left him.i lost the baby 2 months along rite after we split.news year eve we get back together,i missed him so much,and i just couldnt help myself i just wanted to be loved and i knew he loved me with all his heart,he just had a problem,and we got back together cuz he told me he had got help,and he was looking good too. but of course after dating a lil bit more he started doing drugs again,and inbetween that i got prgnant for the second time.i figured that maybe he thought i came back so he had me for good this time,but i couldnt do it again,i didnt want to lose another baby i couldnt go thru that again,the stress was horrible,so i left him again.still came to the docs with me every month,sometimes high,sometimes late,but he was always there.i loved him still even tho it hurt so much.stay broken up for awhile this time,i was about 7 months pregnant i guess when we got back together for the second and last time.he looked amazing,finally got help,for real this time.i loved him so much,we were closer then ever.had our baby boi and were doing good rite now but not so good.we were arguing the other day and he says to me,u just find something to argue about everday,and i paused for just a sec. of course argueing back with a no i dont.but in the back of my mind thinking,”do i”,and i feel like hes rite,maybe i do,but why,am i not happy and dont know it,or what.i dont know,we have been going thru so much lately,got into an accident bout 2 weeks agomsomeone rear ended us sittin at a light,and all the insurance wanted to do was act like we were trying to get money out of it,i wouldnt put my 4 month old baby thru that just to get money out of it.but i think its finally all done i dono.the truck is totalled,we have a rental,but how long is that gonna last.we dont have money,he lost so many hours due to this accident,and we dont have enough for rent.my baby is growing out of all his clothes,dont have money to buy him new ones.we want to get married in december,dont have money for that.we have so many unpayed bills from when i was pregnant,havent payed no doctor or hospital bills from it.i just feel like every time we try to do somehting rite or good,we get screwed.back to wut i first said in the begining of my sob story,i just sometimes feel like he might be doin drugs agian,i mean i knmow its noting as serious as he was doin bak then,but sometimes he just looks messed up but i cant tell.i know he takes perks sometimes,he tells me sometims hes takin one,but sometimes it looks like hes done something and we end up argueing cuz i say he looks messed up and he says he hasnt done nuttin.i dono sometimes i just want to give up but i love him.i just want to be happy with him,and not argue all the time.
This open post was written 8 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 170, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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