Jayde* edited this post 8 months ago. Read the previous text »
My best friend is the whole world may be leaving my school next year =(
Her and i have been bestfriends for like 4 years, i tell her everything and shes a really great friend and person. But shes a competitive swimmer, she just recently moved to a new team in another town. Her mum would always pick her up from school and take her to practice which was only 30 minutes away, but now that shes switched teams it’s a longer drive for her parents since the town is farther.
She told me today that her parents want her to go to the school where her swim team is so it won’t be so hard for travelling. But the thing is swimming is what has always been between our friendship, when people from my school went on a trip to boston she was supposted to come room with me but she had swimming, when we wanted to hang out she had swimming and couldn’t come, she couldn’t hang out with me on my birthday because of swimming, i couldn’t go hang out with her on her birthday because of swimming, and many many others and now she’s leaving for good for swimming.
I know i should be supportive of her because shes a great swimmer and it’s what she wants to do, but she says she’d be sad to leave her friends but it’s her parents decision. I’ve been trying to act supportive and telling her it will be good but truthfully i feel very depressed about losing my bestfriend. She says we’ll still hang out but she lives far from me and she’ll just end up replacing me =(. We’ve been friends for so long and i always thought we’d be good friends for a long time and graduate together but now she says she’s probably leaving and i know i’ll probably never see her =(
Sorry for the length of this post. I know there not much i can do, but is there anyway to cheer myself up so i don’t make her feel bad about leaving?? any advice on anything in this situation would be great.
Jayde* invited 33 users to read this post 8 months ago.
just try to keep in touch with her. but you should find a new best friend. you can still be friends with her but not best friends. there really is no way to cheer up but just start hanging out with other friends before she leaves so you can get used to being with other people for the amount of time you were with her.
I have another bestfriend too, it’s just this is the second time a bestfriend as moved away from me and i’ve lost touch with them. I don’t like it =( it’s hard for people you care about to leave you for something else. I just feel like i’m being abondoned again… but i should just be happy for her right?
You should be happy. she’s not abandoning you on purpose. It is really hard to deal with people you care about leaving but eventually you will feel better again. Ive lost contact with people who have moved away also. it just happens. I tried to keep contact as long as possible but eventually it will deteriorate. how far away is she moving?
don’t worry. you’ll see her around. don’t forget. she’ll always be your friend no matter what. you can still keep in touch with her.
the best you can do is keep i touch with her, tell her you’ll miss her, and just be supportive =]
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I can empathise with you there.
It sounds to me as if you’re upset because this best friend is someone who you can trust and confide in, and with her moving away, you lose that closeness, that special bond; am I correct? Can I assume that there are very few people in your life who have that privilege? What do you think will happen once your friend leaves?
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OhNoItDaPoPo91 wrote:
You should be happy. she’s not abandoning you on purpose. It is really hard to deal with people you care about leaving but eventually you will feel better again. Ive lost contact with people who have moved away also. it just happens. I tried to keep contact as long as possible but eventually it will deteriorate. how far away is she moving?
She’ll still live in the same place which is about 40 minutes away, but her school is even farther. She’s already replacing me with people on her new swim team.
Anonymous wrote:
don’t worry. you’ll see her around. don’t forget. she’ll always be your friend no matter what. you can still keep in touch with her.
the best you can do is keep i touch with her, tell her you’ll miss her, and just be supportive =]
People leve my school to go to the school shes going to often, i know 4 people all pretty good friends, and all four i aven’t talked to in what seems like forever. I’m just worried we’ll end up that way.
Why So Steve? wrote:
Jayde, of course you have a right to be upset; but just because your friend is leaving your current locality doesn’t mean that you’re never going to see her again. I myself have known my best friend since I was four years old which is almost twenty years. We went to school together until we were sixteen, and then we went to college together too. A few years back he moved away to attend university, so now see him much less than I did. Even so we still speak on the phone and keep in touch via Facebook, and because we both drive we can travel to see one another when we’re not busy. The silver lining however is that as of September this year I will be attending the same university, and this came about quite accidentally. Undoubtedly we will see each far more and have already starting making plans for the foreseeable future.
My point is that your paths will cross again, and whilst it is difficult to maintain a friendship over any distance it is possible if you really want to. What’s more is that you won’t get replaced. I have other friends, and I have friends that I consider to be among the best; but you only have one best friend…and if they’re anything like mine they will let you know that especially whilst drunk!
Thanks Steve that give me some hope. I have other friends but none of them really mean as much to me. I’ve just seen it happen, it makes me sad that even the best of friends can be split up, but i guess also bestfriends can cross pathes eventually. Ijust know we’ll be the kind that splints up =(
aussie2k wrote:
I can empathise with you there.
It sounds to me as if you’re upset because this best friend is someone who you can trust and confide in, and with her moving away, you lose that closeness, that special bond; am I correct? Can I assume that there are very few people in your life who have that privilege? What do you think will happen once your friend leaves?
Yeah, we have a pretty special bond i guess but basically were just like any other pair of bestfriends. Yeah i only have 2 bestfriends all the rest are just friends pretty much. I think that we’ll talk alot when she goes to her new school, then we’ll start losing touch and she’ll make new friends and i’ll make new friends then we won’t talk anymore then a few years later i’ll realize i lost one of the best friends i ever had but when i go to get in touch with her again we’ll be 2 totally different people.
hey jayde :)
this has got to be pretty hard for you.. the thing is, you don’t know for sure if she has to leave yet. try to stay positive.. you dont know if shell replace you, odds are if you’ve been friends this long she will never be able to find a friend like you. you sound like you’re supporting her in her swimming by not complaining a lot when she swims instead of hanging out with you.. youll be the first one she thanks when she wins a gold medal..
i dont know, thats probably all crap that will go right through your head, but i tried :)
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bluflames83 wrote:
hey jayde :)
this has got to be pretty hard for you.. the thing is, you don’t know for sure if she has to leave yet. try to stay positive.. you dont know if shell replace you, odds are if you’ve been friends this long she will never be able to find a friend like you. you sound like you’re supporting her in her swimming by not complaining a lot when she swims instead of hanging out with you.. youll be the first one she thanks when she wins a gold medal..
i dont know, thats probably all crap that will go right through your head, but i tried :)
I should try to stay positive but the thing is i know for sure she’s going to the other school. Her parents pretty much only care about her swimming and doing whatever it takes to make her better. So i know she’ll be leaving. I’ve tried to convince myself theres a chance she won’t but i know deep down she is. It’s just so hard to stay positive and supportive.
No, no it was a great response, thank you. i appreciate any adivce i get.
so… is swimming something she really wants to do?? or her parents want her to??.. thats her problem, not really yours though.. so assuming she does go, its not like you’ll never see her, like you were assuming.. i mean, you have a phone right?? a car?? a computer??(obviously).. you don’t really have to be separated.. think about if you will be able to replace her as a friend, if not, im guessing she cant replace you either… :)
bluflames83 wrote:
so… is swimming something she really wants to do?? or her parents want her to??.. thats her problem, not really yours though.. so assuming she does go, its not like you’ll never see her, like you were assuming.. i mean, you have a phone right?? a car?? a computer??(obviously).. you don’t really have to be separated.. think about if you will be able to replace her as a friend, if not, im guessing she cant replace you either… :)
She wants to do it, but her parents push her to do it more and more. Yeah, i have to deal with whatever decision is taken, good or bad. i have a phone, and a computer lol but i can’t drive yet lol. my parents probably won’t drive me so i’ll never see her but i guess we could talk. Yeah i guess thats true.
hey! never say never :) you’ll definatly see her again, and talking would let you stay in touch and gossip about all your boyfriends and stuff so that you can stay close.. spring break’s coming up, right?? you can hand out then for sure probably, and its only a half hour, you could meet some place fun in between?? :) you dont have to end your friendship :)
bluflames83 wrote:
hey! never say never :) you’ll definatly see her again, and talking would let you stay in touch and gossip about all your boyfriends and stuff so that you can stay close.. spring break’s coming up, right?? you can hand out then for sure probably, and its only a half hour, you could meet some place fun in between?? :) you dont have to end your friendship :)
We’ve actually already had out spring break here. and it was 2 weeks long and i still didn’t see her once, although i was away for one week. If i see hher again it’ll be because we want to see each other, but what if after a while she doesn’t want to see me anymore?
oh…. ours starts next week :).. and you cant possibly believe she wont want to see you right?? best friends?? even if you dont see her for a month or so you can still have like a reunion and try to… i know, i lost where i was going with that, you would see her again, thats the important part. :)
Lol, i’ll try and trust you on that.
But it’s all your fault if i never see her again lol xP (jk)
im sorry!! :) i didnt mean to rip you apart!! :)
I’ll forgive you! As long as you sow me back together!! it’s im possible to do it yourself, the last time i did i sowed my arm to my neck… people stared at me for weeks xP
i know how ya feel, during my high school years i went to 3 different ones in different towns all with new people..i had to leave all my friends behind. All i can really say is you can keep in touch and hang out..its very hard but can be done, just takes work and effort from both people, maybe talk about that with her..
My friend and I were really close, even though we lived in different states, i went up to hang out with him and his gf in the summer a few times..we have kinda lost touch now..one day ill get back in touch with him but ya..just saying it takes work from both..
Only other thing i say ,from someone who knows what its like, is that you will make new friends..even if you don’t think you will…you will. so dont be too upset about that aspect of it :). i made new friends with sports, but you can do it alot of ways. just be yourself and talk.
anyways dont worry about it too much, true friends are friends for life, regardless.
Braad wrote:
i know how ya feel, during my high school years i went to 3 different ones in different towns all with new people..i had to leave all my friends behind. All i can really say is you can keep in touch and hang out..its very hard but can be done, just takes work and effort from both people, maybe talk about that with her..
My friend and I were really close, even though we lived in different states, i went up to hang out with him and his gf in the summer a few times..we have kinda lost touch now..one day ill get back in touch with him but ya..just saying it takes work from both..
Only other thing i say ,from someone who knows what its like, is that you will make new friends..even if you don’t think you will…you will. so dont be too upset about that aspect of it :). i made new friends with sports, but you can do it alot of ways. just be yourself and talk.
anyways dont worry about it too much, true friends are friends for life, regardless.
Thanks Brad, that was really good adivce, much appriciated. It’s just weird knowing that if she leaves things won’t be the same anymore. I haven’t learned to adapt with change very well.
Jayde* wrote:
Braad wrote:
i know how ya feel, during my high school years i went to 3 different ones in different towns all with new people..i had to leave all my friends behind. All i can really say is you can keep in touch and hang out..its very hard but can be done, just takes work and effort from both people, maybe talk about that with her..
My friend and I were really close, even though we lived in different states, i went up to hang out with him and his gf in the summer a few times..we have kinda lost touch now..one day ill get back in touch with him but ya..just saying it takes work from both..
Only other thing i say ,from someone who knows what its like, is that you will make new friends..even if you don’t think you will…you will. so dont be too upset about that aspect of it :). i made new friends with sports, but you can do it alot of ways. just be yourself and talk.
anyways dont worry about it too much, true friends are friends for life, regardless.
Thanks Brad, that was really good adivce, much appriciated. It’s just weird knowing that if she leaves things won’t be the same anymore. I haven’t learned to adapt with change very well.
Yeah i totally understand what you mean, i was a freshman in highschool the first time i moved..it was hard but looking back on it and after all the worrying i did about it..most of it was in complete vain haha.I always made new friends, I didn’t replace them and they didnt replace me..its just life hit us and there was nothing we could do about it..sometimes its just like that..
so try not think of it like that at all. Change is hard but you may never know what may come of this..by not hanging out with her as much, you could possibly meet someone else that you get along with even better and may be even happier with!..try and go in with a good outlook, thats the best way to handle it, the ol with every closed door a new one opens mind set :)
Jayde* wrote:
I’ll forgive you! As long as you sow me back together!! it’s im possible to do it yourself, the last time i did i sowed my arm to my neck… people stared at me for weeks xP
i can try!! im not the best sowerer though.. :/ im a master with my glue gun though :)
Braad wrote:
Jayde* wrote:
Braad wrote:
i know how ya feel, during my high school years i went to 3 different ones in different towns all with new people..i had to leave all my friends behind. All i can really say is you can keep in touch and hang out..its very hard but can be done, just takes work and effort from both people, maybe talk about that with her..
My friend and I were really close, even though we lived in different states, i went up to hang out with him and his gf in the summer a few times..we have kinda lost touch now..one day ill get back in touch with him but ya..just saying it takes work from both..
Only other thing i say ,from someone who knows what its like, is that you will make new friends..even if you don’t think you will…you will. so dont be too upset about that aspect of it :). i made new friends with sports, but you can do it alot of ways. just be yourself and talk.
anyways dont worry about it too much, true friends are friends for life, regardless.
Thanks Brad, that was really good adivce, much appriciated. It’s just weird knowing that if she leaves things won’t be the same anymore. I haven’t learned to adapt with change very well.
Yeah i totally understand what you mean, i was a freshman in highschool the first time i moved..it was hard but looking back on it and after all the worrying i did about it..most of it was in complete vain haha.I always made new friends, I didn’t replace them and they didnt replace me..its just life hit us and there was nothing we could do about it..sometimes its just like that..
so try not think of it like that at all. Change is hard but you may never know what may come of this..by not hanging out with her as much, you could possibly meet someone else that you get along with even better and may be even happier with!..try and go in with a good outlook, thats the best way to handle it, the ol with every closed door a new one opens mind set :)
Thanks, i’ll try. Your right though. Something good has to come out of this. Maybe it’s not what i want but it has to have some benifit in the end. I guess i just have to wait and see what that is.
bluflames83 wrote:
Jayde* wrote:
I’ll forgive you! As long as you sow me back together!! it’s im possible to do it yourself, the last time i did i sowed my arm to my neck… people stared at me for weeks xP
i can try!! im not the best sowerer though.. :/ im a master with my glue gun though :)
OoOooO glue guns are fun, but i always manage to burn myself at some point so you have to be super careful! and don’t get in my eyes, appearantly it hurts getting steaming hot glue in them and appearantly you need eyes… this is all so new to me!
xP
Oh course you have the right to be upset and even angry. She is part of your life, and judging from how you talk about her, a big part. It is like someone is trying to make a massive whole in your body, that no matter how much you try not to think about it and look on the bright side, it will always be there.
Unfortunately, in instances like these, you have no power. The best thing you can do is tell her how much you will miss her, but how you HAVE to keep in contact and see each other.
Try to be suportive, so that it is not too hard for both of you… She is probably feeling just as upset as you about the matter.
I hope this helps :)
Mez wrote:
Oh course you have the right to be upset and even angry. She is part of your life, and judging from how you talk about her, a big part. It is like someone is trying to make a massive whole in your body, that no matter how much you try not to think about it and look on the bright side, it will always be there.
Unfortunately, in instances like these, you have no power. The best thing you can do is tell her how much you will miss her, but how you HAVE to keep in contact and see each other.
Try to be suportive, so that it is not too hard for both of you… She is probably feeling just as upset as you about the matter.
I hope this helps :)
Yeah, it did. Thank you very much. I think it’s alot harder on her since i’m only losing one friend and shes losing me plus our other bestfriend and others. But i hope she makes alot of new friends and is happy at her new school. i just don’t want to be forgotten.
lq2m.. i know! i have scars al over my hands from glue gunning so much :) ive gotten hot plastic flung into my eye, but never hot glue.. :) thats gotta HURT!! :)
bluflames83 wrote:
lq2m.. i know! i have scars al over my hands from glue gunning so much :) ive gotten hot plastic flung into my eye, but never hot glue.. :) thats gotta HURT!! :)
Ouch hot plastic??? didn’t that do any damage??
Oh well you should try hot glue, it’s quite pleasent actually, very calming =) lol.
lol, fun conversations here.
There’s been a bunch of good advice in here.
Jayde, sometimes friends leave. We’re not guaranteed the availability of
any loved one’s in our life. Spose, that’s y it’s important to value them
while we have them. But there’s beauty in this type of sadness too. I always found it to be bittersweet. Enjoy it. :p
Srinh wrote:
lol, fun conversations here.
There’s been a bunch of good advice in here.
Jayde, sometimes friends leave. We’re not guaranteed the availability of
any loved one’s in our life. Spose, that’s y it’s important to value them
while we have them. But there’s beauty in this type of sadness too. I always found it to be bittersweet. Enjoy it. :p
Thank you Srinh, your totally right. I just just value the time that i know i have left with her and just enjoy it and be glad i have it while it lasts.
Does it sound strange to you that I say, enjoy your sadness? I’m not sure how that comes off. But yes, you can. I had a friend whom I was extremely close to. She moved away in my mid-teens…14ish? It was awful, i really missed her. We were living in NC and she was moving away to FL.
It was nice to have a good cry after she left, felt totally emptied out after this. & I also realized how much she meant to me. We still kept in touch long after. This might be a good opportunity for you to meet other friends and learn other things from them. And teach them things too. Thank you for hosting so graciously via your post. :)
Yeah, i guess it is kinda strange but i get what your saying. I guess if i never had any change in my life. if i still just ad the same friends as i always have then my life would never change, and i think you need your life to change or you never really move on and you never really grow.
What do you mean by osting graciously via my post?
you have a gracious way about you. you’re welcoming, intelligent & interesting too. And have this amazing humility. I always enjoy reading your posts and getting invites. Tho, you seem to author fewer posts than many.
simply, You are amazing. :)
Srinh wrote:
you have a gracious way about you. you’re welcoming, intelligent & interesting too. And have this amazing humility. I always enjoy reading your posts and getting invites. Tho, you seem to author fewer posts than many.
Srinh wrote:
simply, You are amazing. :)
Thank you very much =) I don’t know why i never post, i guess because usually i feel a burden. I usually only post on here when my mind isn’t working and i need help seeing realization that i can’t see on my own. I always have other problems but i feel like i waste other peoples time. I felt bad after i posted thhis even. I don’t know really. But thank you for replying and helping, i’m really greatful to you and anyone that took the time to reply. It really means alot to me.
ehh kinda, i had a blister on my eyelid :)
yeah, theres no way im trying hot glue, ill hafta drink some tea to get calm.. :)
Ewww that must have been horrible!
How about a cold glue gun then? =)
How did this go from a post about friend help to one about a cold glue gun? LOL
Umm that is a good question… lemme see lol.
bluflames83 wrote:
im sorry!! :) i didnt mean to rip you apart!! :)
Jayde* wrote:
I’ll forgive you! As long as you sow me back together!! it’s im possible to do it yourself, the last time i did i sowed my arm to my neck… people stared at me for weeks xP
bluflames83 wrote:
Jayde* wrote:
I’ll forgive you! As long as you sow me back together!! it’s im possible to do it yourself, the last time i did i sowed my arm to my neck… people stared at me for weeks xP
i can try!! im not the best sowerer though.. :/ im a master with my glue gun though :)
I guess that how it started xP lol.
Jayde* wrote:
Ewww that must have been horrible!
How about a cold glue gun then? =)
yeah, its wasnt that bad compared to the herpes i had in my eye earlier this year :)
..do they make cold glue guns?? if they do i want one!! :)
Mez wrote:
How did this go from a post about friend help to one about a cold glue gun? LOL
lq2m…like jayde pointed out, i cant sew, so i have limited options.. :)
my sisters best friend moved away and they still talk every night and go to visit each other when ever they can so you could still be best friends it just wont be so personal hey it worked for my sister so it cou;d work for you
DiverBoy9 wrote:
my sisters best friend moved away and they still talk every night and go to visit each other when ever they can so you could still be best friends it just wont be so personal hey it worked for my sister so it cou;d work for you
Yeah i hope so. I found out today that she’s leaving for sure. =/ It was pretty depressing.
Yeah that’s really bad but as long as you have some sort of contact (Over the phone etc) then hopefully it won’t be as hard for you. It’s also good that you’ve known for a while because it’s given you more time to think about it & stuff if you know what i mean. I don’t wanna start lying about things and saying that it’s all gonna be perfectly fine because you and i both know it won’t, but there’s still alot that you can do to ease your pain & it’s all up to whether your able to accept that this is gonna happen. It’s good that she’s going for a good reason otherwise it would’ve been even harder for you but anyways i don’t wanna go on and on saying the same stuff over again lol but yeah i hope ur ok
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Thanks Ruz, Your completely right and thank you for your adivce. It sucks losing a friend though. Feels like i’ve been losing alot of people lately.
yeahhh especially if it’s a best friend but i’m sure you’ve been through alot of stuff and still managed to stay on your feet & you should be proud of yourself cause not many people can do that. Even right now i know your having a hard time but your barely showing it an it’s amazing how you can control your emotion but then again everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes. You know you want the best for her so that should help you get on with your life and enjoy it while you can & I’m sure she'’ll miss you very much but you will manage without a doubt. It just seems really hard right now & it will feel like that for a while but I know you can do it. I’m not suggesting that you forget about all of this but with a great personality like yours you’re bound to make some really good friends!
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well dont worry…….. you have the internet……..you can e-mail and call each other and text………when a friend moves you are sad but be happy she`ll make new friends and will not 4get about you
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ashley7665 wrote:
well dont worry…….. you have the internet……..you can e-mail and call each other and text………when a friend moves you are sad but be happy she`ll make new friends and will not 4get about you
Thanks ashley. I guess i’m lucky we’ll still be able to communicate in some sort.
so have things gotten any better jayde?? : ) does it still look like shes moving?? hopefully im not making you sad by making you think about it.. : )
Yeah she’s going. She sent me a big long e-mail about how sad she is and how she knows i’m sad and that she won’t lose touch with me. It made me cry. But it’ll be okay… I hope. Thanks for checking up on me blueflames =)
np : ) thats really bad : ( she said she wont lose touch though, it will be okay : )
I hope so =( everyting is getting depressing lately.
thats not good.. :( everything tends to run in good-bad cycles though, good times will come back soon :)
I hope so =( i’m tired of all this bad stuff happening around me…
A very close family friend of ours just died today =/
omg im sorry! i dont know what to say to help : ( lots of times life just sucks. and bad things happen to good people..
bluflames83 wrote:
omg im sorry! i dont know what to say to help : ( lots of times life just sucks. and bad things happen to good people..
Life does suck… =( My family isn’t in good shape. Everyone is breaking down. My dad was there when he died. The found him on the ground from a heart attack and my dad used the defibulator on him but he died =/ I’m still shocked that he’s gone…
wow…I don’t know what can help, I can’t bring people back to life.. I’m sorry.. *hugs jayde*
Thanks. It’s alright.. Things will just be rough for a while but i’ll be fine i hope.
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vanillathug15 invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
hey jayde(: i know your going through a really rough timee and i actually completely understand. one of my best friends is in softball and shes really good but shes always soooo busy with it and i rarely get to hang out with her ever so i know how that is and second off my other bestfriend moved away about 3 months ago and we rarely get to see eachother either.. she said the same thing, that we’d get to hang out and stuff but yadayada yada.. my best advice would be to stay in touch with her as much as possible even though it’ll be hard, i can do and so can you i promisee. and last but not least, relax you will still have friends after shes gone and she will too. we always come across problems but theres always a good solution most of the time(: i promise you’ll be fine. let me know if i can help you with anything else okay?
nicoleee(: wrote:
hey jayde(: i know your going through a really rough timee and i actually completely understand. one of my best friends is in softball and shes really good but shes always soooo busy with it and i rarely get to hang out with her ever so i know how that is and second off my other bestfriend moved away about 3 months ago and we rarely get to see eachother either.. she said the same thing, that we’d get to hang out and stuff but yadayada yada.. my best advice would be to stay in touch with her as much as possible even though it’ll be hard, i can do and so can you i promisee. and last but not least, relax you will still have friends after shes gone and she will too. we always come across problems but theres always a good solution most of the time(: i promise you’ll be fine. let me know if i can help you with anything else okay?
Thanks alot Nicole. It sucks when friends leave huh? i guess for now i just have to enjoy the time i have with her, make some great memories, do the bestfriend thing. It’s good and bad to know people go through this all the time. Good because then i don’t feel like i’m the only one with this problem (obviously not, but you know). Bad because no one should have to lose there best friends. I guess it’s just one of those opsticles in life that are supposed to knock you down till you decide to get up. I’ve had alot of those lately =/.
Thanks i will =)
hahah yeahh sounds like a great idea(:
and no problem im glad i could help:D
OhNoItDaPoPo91
Anonymous
aussie2k
bluflames83
Braad
Mez
Srinh
DiverBoy9
Ruz
nicoleee(: