I am angry!
I saw my counselor today and she made me sign a flipping contract saying that I wouldn’t use crisis services more than once a week which includes calling the suicide hotline and calling her during office hours. It also stated that I can’t drink and that my meds have to be bubble packed weekly. It then states that if I fail to comply I will be discharged. So if I call for help more than once in a week I’ll be discharged because I needed help. Does that make any sense?
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Since writing this post Puck You may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Puck You is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 9 months and has 124 posts and 5,405 replies to their name.
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Where were you?
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Bureaucracy. Like statistics and quotas more then actually helping.
Yea, I know
Puck You invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
Puck You invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
Puck You invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
That’s fracking B-S, if you ask me. I would directly ask someone the question you posed here: How am I supposed to be helped if I can only ask for help once a week?
Any chance you can find some other place–a place not so “bureaucratic”?
Thanks!
As far as finding another place that doesn’t appear to be an option
She’s not allowed do that… did she write up the contract herself? All the things she’s done to you Alice, she could be sacked…
no, her boss did.
well…her boss did with her help.
Puck You invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
Try and see this as a positive… maybe your counsellor has such faith in you that you can handle a lot more than you think but occassionally you reach out for help a bit too quickly before trying to tackle the problem yourself… Maybe she just wants you to realise that before you ask for help you try and think things through some times… see how many times you think you need someone to help you but when you have to stop and think “do i really want to use my one opporunity to speak to my counsellor this week on this thing”… I bet you deal with a heap more stuff than you thought you could. Good luck.
I suppose you could be onto something.
Sometimes we just need another person to have faith in us… I think your counsellor wants you to feel empowered and in control of your own life… Remember if it is something you really can’t cope with then you have that one phone call… but give it a go… one day at a time… solving those little things will make you feel stronger and more in control of your own life… also it’ a good opporuinty for you to write down a problem and the solution you found so when you go to see your counsellor then you can discuss your progress with her… show her how you have been coping.
But how am I going to know if that is the worse it is going to get. I mean let’s say one day I have a handful of pills in my hand and I call but a few days later I have actually taken the handful what am I suppose to do then? Not saying that I am suicidal now. Don’t worry.
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (11 hours, 25 minutes after post)
i don’t know of anything legal, but that counselor is screwed up bwitch and you should try to get another. i mean if i need help and i’m going to u and being payed you have to help me.
Ok i see where you are coming from…. so would pills be your choice for a suicide attempt? If the answer is yes then hide them… give yourself a few minutes where you have to stop and think… when you do stop and think ask yourself one question… do i want to be here tomorrow? The answer will always be yes… you do want to be here tomorrow no matter how bad it seems at this minute… but you would like to be here tomorrow feeling a bit better than you do today… Then you give yourself the chance to work through what is making you feel depressed… and if at all possible try and work through it… if you feel no one likes you…. this is just an example by the way… if you feel like no one likes you… step outside your home… walk down the street smiling at everyone you pass… see how many people smile back… by the time you get to the end of your street i bet their have been loads of people who have smiled back… so you know that at least those people liked the smile you gave them…. build it up slowly from there.
or hanging
Sincompanion wrote:
i don’t know of anything legal, but that counselor is screwed up bwitch and you should try to get another. i mean if i need help and i’m going to u and being payed you have to help me.
That’s what I thought! This isn’t the first time she has threatened to discharge me either! Last time she didn’t make me sign a contract she made me follow a strict regimented schedule and she said if I didn’t follow it I was beyond her help.
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (11 hours, 33 minutes after post)
ok, maybe i would tell u to try to make an effort to “follow” her schedule if she persist in her witchy ways heck get a new counselor
I followed her schedule and things got better for a while but then they went downhill again.
This contract doesn’t even have an end date on it.
There’s the point…. THINGS DID GET BETTER… we all have ups and downs… you are no different just because you need to see a counsellor… I think she is trying to do her best by you… You sound like you may have become dependant on others to get you through the rough times… and that is great some of the time… she sounds like she is trying to get you to rely on yourself more of the time than on others… It’s not a bad thing… When you come through the ba times you are stronger… and that will build on it’s self.
Yea, I guess your right.
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (11 hours, 42 minutes after post)
Anonymous wrote:
There’s the point…. THINGS DID GET BETTER… we all have ups and downs… you are no different just because you need to see a counsellor… I think she is trying to do her best by you… You sound like you may have become dependant on others to get you through the rough times… and that is great some of the time… she sounds like she is trying to get you to rely on yourself more of the time than on others… It’s not a bad thing… When you come through the ba times you are stronger… and that will build on it’s self.
wat that person said i’m doing chemistry so i’ll talk later
Sincompanion wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
There’s the point…. THINGS DID GET BETTER… we all have ups and downs… you are no different just because you need to see a counsellor… I think she is trying to do her best by you… You sound like you may have become dependant on others to get you through the rough times… and that is great some of the time… she sounds like she is trying to get you to rely on yourself more of the time than on others… It’s not a bad thing… When you come through the ba times you are stronger… and that will build on it’s self.wat that person said i’m doing chemistry so i’ll talk later
huh?
Take very tiny steps…. did you just get through the last five minutes of your life? Yes… Can you get through the next five minutes… Of course you can…. There’s no stopping you! Then you need to get through the next five minutes… Build it up…. Can you get through the next hour…. No problem… you just got through the last one…. etc etc..
Yea, I know.
Je ne sais pa invited 11 users to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
You don’t sound very convinced…. You got through the last five minutes didn’t you…. OF COURSE YOU DID…Can you get through the next five minutes…. OF COURSE YOU CAN….. You can do it because you just did it and you’ll keep doing it because you CAN!
You’re right.
I know i am…. but i’m still waiting for you to convince me that you believe it… :-) COS YOU ARE DOING IT COS YOU CAN!
:)
Is that the best you can do….. Where’s that get up and go that i know is inside you right now straining to get out? :-)
I dunno. I guess it’s asleep.
Part of the contract is that I have to attend 3 different groups one of which is DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Since seeing her I have purchased 2 DBT workbooks in hopes that I will get a head start in understanding what they are talking about in group.
Puck You invited 1 user to read this post 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
I think the groups are a good idea… Your counsellor is giving you the tools to help yourself… I know you are angry with her because you feel the support you feel you need is being withdrawn but it’s not the case… she wants you to be strong enough to deal with as much as possible…. There is not always going to be a counsellor there or a friend to call… the DBT groups will help you sort out ways to deal with things.
One of the main things in DBT is keeping a diary…. you can start doing this before you even attend the group… it helps to focus your mind. I would recommend a book called Dialectical Behaviour Therpy Workbook by Matthew MacKay, Jeffrey Wood and Jeffrey Brantley. I think you would find it very useful.
This particular type of therapy is trying to get you to see things from different viewpoints rather than reacting to a particular event as perfect or unbearable…It stops you believeing that every single thing that is not perfect is impossible to cope with… there is something between the two… you have to learn that life is not black and white… there are loads of shades of grey between the two.
You may find it reassuring to know that patients within a DBT programme may telephone their individual therapist between sessions. Pagers are often used for the initial contact. Such contact may sometimes be planned but is chiefly about helping the patient to get through crises. The contact should be mainly about coaching the patient in the appropriate use of the skills that have been learned previously in the group. Typically a DBT telephone call is brief – perhaps 5 or 10 minutes – and should not in general be used as an extra therapy session. Its function is different. It is mainly to try to help the patient avoid self-harm or sometimes to sustain or repair the therapeutic relationship. The patient is banned from contacting the therapist for 24 hours after an act of self-harm.
The hours during which telephone contact is available are agreed between the therapist and the patient. What the therapist can manage is an explicit determinant and, indeed, is usually the limiting factor. The arrangement may be changed if it is misused. However, perhaps surprisingly, even highly disturbed patients usually respect the rules of the game. If they do not, this is discussed exhaustively as therapy-interfering behaviour.
Hope this reassures you about taking part in this type of therapy.
Anonymous wrote:
One of the main things in DBT is keeping a diary…. you can start doing this before you even attend the group… it helps to focus your mind. I would recommend a book called Dialectical Behaviour Therpy Workbook by Matthew MacKay, Jeffrey Wood and Jeffrey Brantley. I think you would find it very useful.
that’s the one I got
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (14 hours, 2 minutes after post)
Did you try contacting a legal aid lawyer, try talking to him.
OK, thanks.
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (14 hours, 12 minutes after post)
Also talk to your counsellor, tell your counsellor that she can not do that, tell her that if you can’t ring the suicide hotline because of this contract and “TOUCH WOOD IT DOESN’T HAPPEN” you kill yourself that she can be brought before the courts under 2 laws negligence causing death, manslaughter 2 and also she can be brought under malpractice law suit because the stunt she has puled is by far illegal, and also talk to your local politician tell them what is going on.
OK, I will
The counsellor has not done anything illegal… not even anything negiliant… What has been suggested is part of the therapy that is being put in place for Puck You…I know it is easy to think the “contract” is harsh but it isn’t… It is necessary for the therapy to be effective… Puck You… you need to focus on getting through life without relying too much on others… You know you can do it… Keep going. Best of luck.
thanks
Or were they threatening to not help you any more if you didn’t comply?
Yea, I had to sign it
That’s just wrong….but yeah, i agree with Ikari’s first comment. A lot of schools won’t allow a child to switch schools till the end of a school year (to ensure the school meets it’s requirments for kids and thus, more government funding). Sad case. I hope you can pull through though. Best of luck
Thank you
It doesn’t sound like a legal contract, but one created for practical purposes. Only you and your therapist can really say if it’s useful.
It’s not legal. If I break it they won’t take me to court…they’ll just discharge me and that they are serious about
I’ll talk to her on Tuesday see where I can get with her.
ok, thanks
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (21 hours, 8 minutes after post)
I don’t think Jesus personally runs that site. I think PEOPLE do.
wow thats really messed up..why would they do that?!
that makes no sense at all.. if you call mre than once a week they should bring you in for MORE appointments not discharge you.. do you know their reasoning for this?
(sorry if it says somewhere in the other posts… i didnt read them all)
i would be angry too.. you have the right to be
They say I am using up all their resources
Hello i was dropping by to ask you how r u doing. i know i’m not much help but i’m just preoccupied and dash. but how are you and r u getting some help
Find a new counsellor.
A lot of energy is being used up getting angry with a system that you are not likely to change…. Direct the anger positively into getting well again… Five minutes spent on this is five minutes less spent doing something positive to make you feel in control of your own life… Best of luck.
Anon, something just occurred to me. It occurred to me that my counselor is doing this becuase she cares. I mean she spent the time reviewing my case and then drawing up the contract. All just to keep me safe. I know at first I was angry but now I realize that she cares. Thanks for all your insight.
well i’m glad that u see it in a differnt light well me i’d pout like a spoiled child for days. but at times wat is best for us is not always welcomed. but hope it goes better
Thanks.
lol. Yea, I know what you mean.
its just as advice are thinks we already know but not take it in consideration until someone else voices it well other than our parents. we have a parent head phone which allows us not to hear them period.
Right!
Hi Puck You…. I’m so glad you have seen the positive from this experience… I knew you would as soon as the anger subsided. Focus on the positives in you life now…. Onwards and upwards!
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