life help: My life has become a monotonous routine. - Help.com

writeplaywrit
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An Unknown Location

My life has become a monotonous routine.

I live free by the standards of most people. I play music. I love my dog. I live in Toronto and I hate this place. The women are cold, the people are heartless and my soul is restless. I really wish the whole thing would come crashing down. Then I could die in peace. I plan on killing myself eventually. As I move toward the utterly hopeless realization about how worthless I really am, my heart aches. with no comfort from family, who lack the intelligent understanding required to talk about these things. Friends who are worse off then myself and surrounding myself with walls so no one ends up truly caring about caring about me. Here I am now, writing online in hopes that some supreme wisdom will just push me to the edge and I can finish myself. There is nothing to live for anymore.

I guess I am not really done, and i guess i need help with the following:

Getting out of Toronto
getting into a sustainable community that respects musicians
Find someone who has a heart
getting out of TO
getting out of this mess that we call society

This open post was written 7 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 504, 11, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post writeplaywrit may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. writeplaywrit is a verified member, has been around for 7 months, 2 weeks and has 1 posts and 4 replies to their name.

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writeplaywrit edited this post 7 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

My life has become a monotonous routine. I live free by the standards of most people. I play music. I love my dog. I live in Toronto and I hate this place. The women are cold, the people are heartless and my soul is restless. I really wish the whole thing would come crashing down. Then I could die in peace. I plan on killing myself eventually. As I move toward the utterly hopeless realization about how worthless I really am, my heart aches. with no comfort from family, who lack the intelligent understanding required to talk about these things. Friends who are worse off then myself and surrounding myself with walls so no one ends up truly caring about caring about me. Here I am now, writing online in hopes that some supreme wisdom will just push me to the edge and I can finish myself. There is nothing to live for anymore.

Good ole boy offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (37 minutes after post)

My first impression of you was that you might just be unorthodox, which has a tendency to isolate people from society. This is not unusual, and there are a multitude of people scattered around this earth that feel similar despair. My intentions, nor anyone here for that matter, is not going to push you to the edge of extinction. Our intentions are to help you obtain restoration in your life and hopefully confirm a new confident attitude in you when all of this is said and done. So I understand that you have a fervid interest in music? Is there any particular instrument(s) you enjoy implementing? Have you thought about pursuing music as a lifelong career?

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Good ole boy offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

That should actually be: “is not to push you to the edge of extinction.”

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writeplaywrit offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (45 minutes after post)

Yeah, I was really hoping that I could take the easy way out.
music is my life, my time is dedicated to music, volunteering teaching music and thats really about it.

I play guitar, bass, drums, piano, what ever i can get my hands on.

The thing is its not about money, music never should be. Unfortunately the only thing i am good at makes me little to nothing, Thus society deems it useless. That leads me to feel completely hopeless.

Have you ever tried to keep (or start for that matter) a relationship when the only thing you can give is yourself? as far as I have come its not that possible.

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Good ole boy offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (56 minutes after post)

The fact of knowing that you may not be good enough to pursue a professional career in music is reinforced by society and their dissuasive remarks?

An aspiration only requires determination and dedication from the pursuer. I’m not sure I understand your last question, however.

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kento6 offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 15 minutes after post)

First as you know (we all)go through these feelings from time to time,,everyone on earth feels totaly alone in the middle of a crowd at times,,as far as your family goes and not feeling respected,,not knowing the situation and the causes of the problem the only thing that has ever worked for me was at my worst breaking point, i knew inside of me total and complete collaspe was was just a breath away i threw my hands up and said to lord christ “i submit”,,that was to his sacrifice and salvation,,belive me , i’m not the weak and fragile type,, a tough knuckle head is what i’ve been all my life,,my only saving grace was that i allways cared for people as best i could,, since then my life has been infinetly better,,please you have to try it. seek the ways of lord christ read the bible and do it like it can save your life.
I say to people sometimes there’s a super being out there who created all life and the universe and he wrote a book about how we should live, love and conduct ourselves and to my amazement no one wants to read it,,,go figure,,how crazy is that??

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majo offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (4 hours, 9 minutes after post)

I think i know how u feel, i’m a dancer in Guatemala city a country from Central America lets say a third world country, so i’v no money a job that’s a sh**** family that dont understand me at all and most of my friends dont even talk to me anymore cuz they dont have time. u r not the only one whit those problems GOD¡¡ u’ve lot more chances of really make ur dream come true than me, i know people are mean and think that some things like music or dance r a waste of time but 4 u and me is pasion and is life, don’t give up on what u want cuz of people. dont expect different results from doing the same things over and over again¡¡¡ and please stop getting angry cuz people are just stupid¡¡¡ dont think that gettin away from toronto is the answer, cuz every where u go u’ll find the same kind of people, learn to live whit it, other way u’ll suffer a lot¡¡ try it again whit a different point of view and if that doesnt work try it again and again and again lots of failures ‘ll come until u find the real thing. if u really want to get away from toronto then do it. i’m sure u know how. sorry for the spelling =).

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ren offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (5 hours, 25 minutes after post)

Hey! You need to look a little deeper than just success in music. These things pass. Peoples tastes change. Fashion changes. That is why humans have always looked for something greater than ourselves. It’s in our nature. There is a god. It’s logical. And Jesus is a historical figure, proven in history. We know he was a good man. He certainly wasn’t bad! Why would a good man lie? I believe he was the son of God. So, this life isn’t everything. Sometimes when we can’t live for ourselves, we can live for others. Sometimes when we are miserable and feel like a failure, if we reach out to others we forget our own pain. It feels good. It gives us purpose. There’s nothing wrong with music, it just isn’t enough, even if you are successful. :)

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qurtrsho offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (4 months, 2 weeks after post)

just get rid of yourself..too much negativity..if you don’t want to be here, then go..we got too many people here anyways

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