social help: how do you ask friends out to share a meal with you without feeling like you need to pay for the entire bill? - Help.com

how do you ask friends out to share a meal with you without feeling like you need to pay for the entire bill?


This open post was written 7 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 274, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post DianaOh may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. DianaOh is a verified member, has been around for 8 months, 2 weeks and has 2 posts and 2 replies to their name.

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

Most people, when you ask them out to dinner, feel like you have to pay. You can always say “hey, how about if we go out to dinner and split the bill?” If they are people like you who like to save and understand your situation because they might be in a similar situation. However, most cheapskates who don’t like to pay would get indignant and not talk to you afterwards because they want you to have all the burden of the entire bill. Just tell them upfront. “Let’s go Dutch!”

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DianaOh offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

Thanks for your reply, I’ve thought about the Dutch thing but didn’t think it was the right thing to say. Don’t know why I keep getting friends who feel I can do all the paying. Guess I just need to toughen up or stop going out with them all together. Some, I know don’t have the money. I know that is a problem and I don’t feel bad about paying, but feel at least an offer once in a while would be nice at least for their share. Guess I’ve been sort of walked on. Again….thanks!

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

If you let them keep on thinking that you are always going to do all the paying for all the meals, they will keep on taking advantage of you. Unless you actually say something, some people are just plain moochers who don’t think twice about mooching you to death!

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DianaOh offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

Yeah, gotta be a little more tough. This is really starting to bug me. I love being around people, but do not like feeling taken advantage of. I might be lonely for awhile until I find some friends who will be willing to go out and pay their own way. People who just want to share my company. and not just get a free meal.

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lreske offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (4 months, 3 weeks after post)

how about going out someplace where you pay up front - i don’t know what you have where you are, but here a restaurant like corner bakery or pat and oscars you put in your orde rwhen you get there, pay and then go to your table to enjoy your meal… we do this a lot for big family gatherings because with a big group it always feels like someone is footing too much of the bill!

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