I am having trouble communicating with my mother.
This has been a life-long problem that isnow it is affecting our ability to make wedding plans. I am set to get married to the love of my life on June 13th in Folly Beach, South Carolina. We met while I was in the Navy. I have since ended my Naval career while he is still enlisted. The problem is that while we were dating in South Carolina, I got pregnant. We were already engaged but this put a lot of time pressure on the wedding.
Now the wedding is less than two months away, and my family has decided to take my brother and go skiing on his spring break. There is no sense of urgency, I feel as if I am getting no support from them.
When I talked to my mother over the phone today, I was wondering why she was not helping and why everyone was acting so nonchalant about the situation. She then put on her very meek (don’t let it fool you) attitude and started saying how she didn’t want to impose on my wedding, and was waiting for me to ask for her help.
Ask for her help? She’s the mother of the bride! Isn’t that her job?!
My mom and I haven’t had the best relationship in the past. In fact, it got so bad in high school and beyond that she “kicked me out” because of the fighting in college. Everyone in her extended family knows how she is, and I have gotten understanding and have even been able to stay with them because of it, but she refuses to change. She points the finger at everyone else and all throughout my childhood, I was blamed for her outbursts.
So, I try to calmly explain that I do want and need her help. Instead of taking charge like I’ve seen her to do and be the mother I need right now, she starts putting up her guard and saying that she can’t handle it if I start using “profanity.” My family comes from a very religious background and this was the only tool I could use against her to get her to calm down sometimes, simply because it left her speechless. She is extremely nagging. As soon as she walks in the door, the emotional climate changes from calm and collected to unreasonable and totally stressed. I have gotten to the point where I just don’t want to deal with her any more. Her logic is totally unreasonable and I really need my mother right now to step up and help with the wedding, but she is lost in her own problems.
I shouldn’t be this stressed because I am pregnant and am simply left wondering why I have to outsource for support when I should be getting it from my own home!
Help!!!!
This open post was written 7 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 128, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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