life help: this is not everything, it’s just something - Help.com



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this is not everything, it’s just something

I hate the way I’m awkward around people which is why I prefer to be alone even though I hate being alone I get paranoid people are listening to my thoughts I have to turn over pictures of people’s faces on books or magazines or photos lying around because I feel like they are watching me get changed or go to the toilet I want to become a Christian because I think it might make people have a better opinion of me and it might make them think I am kind or sensible or something I used to have bulimia and only one person knows and not because I told them I hate it when people draw attention to me yet I rely on that attention to feel like I exist everyday I feel like I’ve eaten more than I should have I don’t like any of my friends I am sick of being the odd one out yet I wouldn’t know how to cope if I suddenly began to fit in I sit around and wait for something or someone to come along and make everything better but never take any action towards sorting things out myself I have too many ambitions and not enough energy I am scared to succeed because it would just make people expect more of me and I am too scared that I will let them down I always cry when people are nice or show sympathy towards me yet am utterly numb when people try to insult me or put me down I want to have a baby I am failing at school I am sick of this village and I want, need to get out this place it is suffocating and strange I want my reputations to go away I want to start again but I want to move on and get away from it I know for a fact that my parents love my brother more than they love me because they don’t love me at all and I don’t blame them because I can’t see how they possibly could I stay up all night and sleep all day I can’t ever put into words what I’m trying to say when it really matters I talk too much and always regret it I am selfish I am unkind I am constantly trying to be something else I push away the people that try to help me then cry because I have nobody there to help me I got told to write everything down that is in my head because I couldn’t say any of it to the doctor, and they say Write It Down You Are Good At Writing but I’m no good at writing my thoughts and that is why I am posting this anonymously on a website and I’m not going to give it to you, doctor.

This open post was written 6 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 189, 12, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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ameliaearthlin offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 47 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

people dont think about u as much as u think they do.
Humans are too self centred for that.

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ohgoshrebecc offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

That is true
And I hate the way I am convinced everyone is constantly judging me even when in the back of my mind I know that they are too busy judging themselves

Add that to the list.

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ameliaearthlin offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 47 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

the best way to combat low self esteem, is to jump in the deep end. Get a job where u have to interact with people… retail, coffee shop… You will get really good a at small talk really quick. And the customers are far too busy thinking about their purchase to be thinking about u

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Risen Demon offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

hahah rofl
i love ur rant :P
especially the end
“and im not gona giv it to u doctor” lololol funny
anyways
i feeel abouutttt.. 90+% the same way u do ^^
i actualy recently wrote a rant on someone elses post about all the things i hate ;D!
lol if u wana check it out.. i forget wich post it was but u cud go to my profile and find it ther :P
anyways im both sory and glad u feel this way.. ikno “wut a jerk” lol
its jus nice to c im not the only one who feels this way
cuz i mean thers ppl on this site that r like OMG ima kil myself
n thats not rely how i feel either o_O
so u kinda jus nailed it lol
:P nice thet u put into words wut ur feeling lol
if u ever wana tlk some more, im here i gues lol.. rely got nuth else to do

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Help me with: work out

Risen Demon changed the tags on this post: they were "" 6 months, 3 weeks ago.

Help me with: work out
Risen Demon offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

ameliaearthlin wrote:
the best way to combat low self esteem, is to jump in the deep end. Get a job where u have to interact with people… retail, coffee shop… You will get really good a at small talk really quick. And the customers are far too busy thinking about their purchase to be thinking about u

orly? think thatl help? ;3

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Help me with: work out
ameliaearthlin offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 47 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

yes it helped me. I use to suffer panic attacks and be really nervous, I hated being around people. And felt I was always being watched and judged.
Our natural reaction is to flight or fight… choose fight hun.
Get in there and give yourself the oppotunity to work on social skills.

youwish! offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (43 minutes after post)

I was the sme way at one time. I used go go outta my way to avoid peoeple, but now I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m 22 and I missed so much by being scared and anti social and shy! I’m still shy to a point, but nowhere like I was. At some point u jus gotta realize how awesome u r, and if somebody don’t like u, tell em to kiss ur grits and kick rockz.

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Risen Demon offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (43 minutes after post)

ameliaearthlin wrote:
yes it helped me. I use to suffer panic attacks and be really nervous, I hated being around people. And felt I was always being watched and judged.
Our natural reaction is to flight or fight… choose fight hun.
Get in there and give yourself the oppotunity to work on social skills.

XD lololo ok
hehe ye i cnt stand bein around ppl o_O
n in crowded areas
x_X

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Help me with: work out
Risen Demon offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

youwish! wrote:
I was the sme way at one time. I used go go outta my way to avoid peoeple, but now I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m 22 and I missed so much by being scared and anti social and shy! I’m still shy to a point, but nowhere like I was. At some point u jus gotta realize how awesome u r, and if somebody don’t like u, tell em to kiss ur grits and kick rockz.

rofl nicely put :P thx ;D!

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Help me with: work out
youwish! offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (52 minutes after post)

lol i try

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ameliaearthlin offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 47 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

Risen Demon wrote:

ameliaearthlin wrote:
yes it helped me. I use to suffer panic attacks and be really nervous, I hated being around people. And felt I was always being watched and judged.
Our natural reaction is to flight or fight… choose fight hun.
Get in there and give yourself the oppotunity to work on social skills.

XD lololo ok
hehe ye i cnt stand bein around ppl o_O
n in crowded areas
x_X

neither did I. But thats how I overcame it. Oh and a little bit of help from some happy pills

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