controlling temper help: I need some tips on how to be more patient and how to control my temper. - Help.com

try meditation or yoga kinda things

Take deep, deep breaths. Walk away or out of the room to give yourself the chance to form a calmer reply.

Just don’t talk. Be silent. I know this is hard to do, but it works. Look at some spot on a wall or something and keep calm.

Meditation is a great way to learn to calm yourself down. It is something that will take time for you to learn to do. You have to practice daily and always do the same thing to start. Like take deep breaths. Then, over time, your body and mind will know when you take deep breaths, it is time to calm down and relax.

When you get in a situation where you feel your temper is boiling, you take deep breaths and you body will automatically take it down a notch. It will help you think clearer and be able to assess your situation with out the anger.

What are some things that tries your patients? I am a very patient person. I just don’t know who to tell you how to be patient. I think for me, it is just having a understanding of other people and empathy for their situations.

So like standing in a long line at the store, something that bothers most people, I feel for the person working. I know she is doing the best she can. I think maybe someone called off work and they are short on people. I try to be understanding.

count from one to ten before lashing it out. try to use your better judgment in reacting to things/ events/ people. if it not worth it, don’t get angry at all.

It’s never worked well for me, but it’s the only things that ever WORKED. You know? Anywho, my mom and I have this great analagy (I know I way spelt that wrong…) that makes me laugh. Think of anger as a heard of wild horses. You know when it starts, like the horses are just out trotting, but soon they start to trot faster and before you know it, they’re in a fullblown run. I always visualize a bunch of horses running around JUST becuase I’m a little mad. Hahaha, I know, extremely dorky, but it usually gets me to laugh, which helps relieve whatever I’m pissed about. =D

What works for me is repeating this to myself: “It’s not about me.”

People say and do things based on their own fears and needs and histories and experiences. It’s not about me. If they’re acting strangely, it’s because there’s something bothering them.

Anger doesn’t get me anywhere. It just makes other people defensive and angry. So I accept the feeling, remind myself it’s not about me, and the feeling usually dissipates almost immediately.

well when you feel like shouting at someone or screaming or that your mind blowes up.. then just take a deep breath
it should help..
focus on something nice.. like your wedding :) or your beautiful ring..
you can do it..

you are welcome
well it seems that my last reply was as anon..lol:P

hahaha can I ask what SIGN you are?

and what I do (I have a pretty nasty temper) is make sure I eat because if i don’t i become mean as hell lol
also when thing bug you I just say to myself “Just ignore it” take a deep deep deep frustrating breath and then take one more deep breath that’s more claiming and tell yourself “relax” and smile even if it’s forced sometimes…then you’ll be more claim or at least that works for me when my boyfriend or whoever bugs the hell outta me lol

try to find the humor in a situation, Ive been doing that for so long that in most situations it becomes automatic. makes it hard to get angry when the situation is actually funny. allthough if your going to do that try laughing on the inside.. I once had to explain to my boss why being fired is funny… awkward.

Do anything that relaxes you. Get out of the situation that makes you stressed and angry. Take deep breaths and concentrate on other things.

I have that problem. I handle it by not getting into confrontations…but I guess that’s not healthy in any way.!

Sherooo wrote:
I have that problem. I handle it by not getting into confrontations…but I guess that’s not healthy in any way.!

If you avoid confrontations, you just repress the anger inside, get tired, and become more likely to snap at people.

linuxya wrote:

Sherooo wrote:
I have that problem. I handle it by not getting into confrontations…but I guess that’s not healthy in any way.!

If you avoid confrontations, you just repress the anger inside, get tired, and become more likely to snap at people.

ah.

why do we get angry, upset or hurt in the first place?

it always accrue when the reality does not stand with our expectations, or when we strive to achieve a goal we set for ourselves, and an unexpected parameter adds up, or changes, to disrupt our plans.

what to make of it? i am not sure.
but expecting things to be unexpected, and understanding that the plans we make are usually born out of imagination, can put most things in proportions.

for example if someone cuts you off on the road,
you would get angry only because you expected of people to drive normal,
or for the journey to be safe and calm.
when you assume every other vehicle could be driven by someone stupid and crazy, you are not surprised when they do, therefor you are ready for it, and it doesn’t make you mad.

You took that question RIGHT off the tip of my tongue.
I have such an easy time thinking of advice for other people, but when it comes to my problems, I feel like its a dead end.
I’ve got some pretty bad anger troubles, it’s been since I was a little kid too.
I still don’t quite know how to deal with it.
I think grbghp is onto something. We expect a certain outcome from the world in our day and when we get anything different, anger is a quick response.
I’m trying to figure out things that would help me calm down…
I know pot works wonders for me, and getting deeply involved in a project also helps me, unless distraction is why I’m mad. lol.
I think we take ourselves too seriously sometimes and forget that humans aren’t always the smartest of all the species here on earth.
If animals could talk, I bet some of them would be calling us morons.
that made me giggle.
i hope this helped a little.

Anger comes from the world not being what we want.

You can get angry and turn your back on an opportunity or you can force yourself to come up with alternatives and refuse to allow a situation to ruin the day.

This has been a tough lesson for me. But I have been practising it. I make plans, problems occur, arguments spark… in the past I would give up and go away until my emotions settled down. Now, I adapt and work at a new plan despite the emotions. I am retraining myself to not be controlled by my emotions. I accept that I have them, but I work out alternative plans, I admit my own mistakes regardless of the other side’s behaviour, I talk things out and focus on the goal.

You know what the best part is? It works… and the enjoyment part REINFORCES my new behaviour. And the anger dissipates faster every time.

Keep breathing. Keep adjusting. Keep focusing on the good that’s happened and the opportunity ahead.

You can try to take a short nap ? As for me , i am very impatient and what i will do is to lay on the table , close my eye and have a short nap . Your mind thinking will be much better after a short nap .