social help: hello, i had a total twist off my social life and i don’t know if its for the best or not - Help.com

Why would you want to hang out with people who are just nasty people? Can’t you go off and do something on your own?

Well I think what you need is to find balance.

First you were good in school but didnt have anyone with like minded interests. Than you found them and started focusing on that instead of school. And than school started to suffer so you stopped focusing on your interests. You see a pattern here? Your on a tetter totter by yourself.

You need to find a compromise. Social skills, character and personality are NOT static. We have to take responsibility for cultivating our own character.

People are not just one thing - you are not just a student and you are not just a club member. A one on one chat is not the same as a group meeting is not the same as a discussion with a teacher is not the same as as talking with an employer. You are many things, so why are you trying to just be one thing?

so you suggest me as i should go back into being my old usual self and hang out with my free spirit plus restrain myself when the going gets tough at the course work ?

or should i hang out with my new class mates instead :S ?

these days i feel socially incapable not my usual self throwing parties and hanging out, also studying when it comes to that .. but not that hard ..

so should i go back ? usurper =] ?

I think you should be your NEW self. Why go back to old habits? Things have changed since than, why not make a new you? Who do you want to become?

Social skills need practice, period. You CAN loose them - its a certain type of intelligence - social intelligence. It can go, but you can also make it stronger by communicating and relating to people.

Do you WANT to go back? What do you WANT to do?

usurper you mean all it has to have is “will power” ?
as in what i want to become later on ?

i like myself its just that the circumstances weren’t good enough

littlenick i was talking about the club members some are good others aren’t
what do you mean by wander off doing things on your own ? do you prefer being a loner at all times :S !

ha ha I love solitude just as much as I love socializing. I have found a balance between the two and its working out quite well.

Yes, I believe in the power of free will and free choice. You are in control, if you dont like it, than make a change. What do you want to become - whatever that means to you! In the future, now - whenever! Its your question to answer.

And Just because you go off by yourself sometimes doesnt mean your a loner. Dont let the fact that people are busy and cant hang out stop you from doing things that you like doing.

Its a sign of Independence, and maybe confidence as well.