This post left anonymously
Sexually confused.
When I was a child my parents never hid sex from me. I would frequently see them coming out of the room with just a sheet on and know exactly what they were doing. We never had “the talk,” because my parents treated me as if I already knew everything and should have no problem being exposed to it. As I grew up, I would hear my mother and her boyfriend having sex. I can still remember exactly what she would say. My mom was abused by her second husband in every way possible, and I heard and saw almost all of it. I remember exposing myself, harboring very inappropriate thoughts about people I should not be thinking of in that way, and doing other vile things when I was a child. I feel that this may have been brought on by something that happened in my past. My grandparents were especially weird about sex. My grandmother once saw a porn on tv and made me watch it so that I could “see how disgusting it was”–I couldn’t have been any older than ten. My mom was often explicit about her love life when I was very young, and while I have never been touched in an inappropriate way I feel that I have been mentally abused in some way. I am a very sexual person, but I often feel that sex is completely disgusting and I want no part in it. I feel bad for thinking very bad things that, if acted out, would have me locked in prison. I feel sort of stupid for posting this, because I don’t want to seem like I am comparing my problem to people that have actually been abused, but I have so many weird feelings about sex at an age that I should not feel this way (I am almost 19), and I’m not sure what to do about it.
This open post was written 7 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 206, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
Replies (1)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
the_ragdol
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.