Low self esteem, leading to lack of faith in my relationships.

dotspot

Low self esteem, leading to lack of faith in my relationships.

A lot has changed in my life. I have two jobs (56 hours), am giving college another shot (only one 5-credit course), and have been in a wonderful relationship for over 2 months. Honestly, I haven’t felt this this happy in a whole decade.

But being involved with someone means caring. Caring means making yourself vulnerable. And my low self esteem, and depression, make me feel inferior and unworthy. I feel like I have very little redeeming qualities, so it is always just a matter of time before a female will find someone better, or fall out of love with me.

I’m so busy, and my GF lives across a river, in another city. Sometimes we don’t see each other for 5 days at a time. Even though I have absolutely no reason not to trust her, I have irrational, paranoid suspicions that my GF is seeing someone else. She’ll tell me she’s hanging out with her coworker, Jessica, who I’ve met, and I wonder if my GF is seeing her (my gf has been with girls in the past). Or if the ‘Jessica’ she refers to is actually some different, unknown guy named Jesse… I also feel jealous and inferior to the other guys when we go on double or triple dates.

I just want it to work out…

Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone. I’m not sure if I’m ever capable of it. My GF told me that she is ‘completely in love with me’, and I couldn’t say it back. I think that has hurt our relationship.

This open post was written 7 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 345, 10, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post dotspot may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. dotspot is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 9 months and has 71 posts and 1,549 replies to their name.

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Tere 1 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (13 minutes after post)

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. There are three things that last faith, hope and love, and love is the greatest of these.

You are at the begining of your life, perhaps you will have many loves, but if you are fortunate, you will have only one love. and you are what you’re love not what loves you. GOOD LUCK!!

ashley.stamey 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (24 minutes after post)

Well You should never feel bad about yourself no matter what the reason or excuse… you are the way god made you for a reason you need to find some one who will accept that and be with you for you just the way you are you shouldnt have to tell someone you love them after two months just to keep a relationship a float. She should be able to noticed your insecurities and commitment issues and see you through it… If it doesnt work move on to some one who will be more on your level, and a lot more close to you, it will help to cut down on the insecurities… If you see that its not going to work and you know that for sure then get out now while you can cause the longer you wait the harder it gets trust me… PLEASE READ MY POST I HAD ONE POSTED IN ANONYMOUS… BUT IT READS I NEED HELP ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN DATING AND LIVING TOGETHER FOR A YEAR NOW… PLS LEND ME YOUR ADVICE

Help me with: Im in augusta Ga and i cant seem to find a doctor who will actually give me a script for decent pain medication… I

sweet.kiwi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

Insecurities get in the way of everything. It may be hard to somehow let go of it all, but you are who you are and nothing can change that, but you. This person that you are involved with, she wouldn’t say she would be in love with you if she intended to see other people, because then the relationship would be completely irrelevant. Communicating helps, talking about your feelings and whats been going on is a simple step. Vulnarability isn’t something you should be ashamed of, sometimes it feels good knowing that someone will be there for you as you are for them.

Chill out relax, and enjoy life. You only get to live it once. Remember also that not all things work out in the end, for now do not expect a lot, because when you do, then you’ll end up getting disappointed in the end.

dazednconfused8 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 6 months ago (1 month after post)

hi are you still there?

Help me with: Does alcohol affect one’s decision to cheat?

lucy_h 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

Crap, I know how you feel, dude…I mean, I’m a girl, but I’m in the same kind of situation. Not exactly, but somewhat. I wish I had advice for you, maybe you need to work on yourself before you try and be in a committed relationship…

Help me with: I feel like I have so little to live for.

dotspot 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

blue_ice24 wrote:
maybe you need to work on yourself before you try and be in a committed relationship…

I think that’s it. I have issues that need to be resolved.

Help me with: If my girlfriend doesn’t call me, should I call her, or wait until she calls?

lucy_h 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

dotspot wrote:

blue_ice24 wrote:
maybe you need to work on yourself before you try and be in a committed relationship…
I think that’s it. I have issues that need to be resolved.

Yeah, probably. I’m in the same boat. It’s terrible. No matter how much you like the person, sometimes you just have to realize that you need to work on yourself before you let yourself be happy…work now, pleasure later, right? Kind of annoying, but I guess it’s the only thing to do

Help me with: I feel like I have so little to live for.

dotspot 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

She broke up with me. :(

Help me with: If my girlfriend doesn’t call me, should I call her, or wait until she calls?

lucy_h 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

dotspot wrote:
She broke up with me. :(

What was her reason?

Help me with: I feel like I have so little to live for.

dotspot 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

blue_ice24 wrote:

dotspot wrote:
She broke up with me. :(

What was her reason?

Didn’t give me anything specific. She said she didn’t love me anymore and thought that we were too different from each other.

Help me with: If my girlfriend doesn’t call me, should I call her, or wait until she calls?

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Low self esteem, leading to lack of faith in my relationships. - Help.com