Mind help: how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? - Help.com

i got a not so little question bout the mind…am i crazy?

recently ive been thinkin about kids having strange experiences that could possibly mess them up a lil in the head…psycologically. as i kept thinkin bout all these crazy experiences i began to realize that i was merely projecting variations of my experiences onto imaginary people and then analyzing how possibly mentally scaring that experience would be. (for example, when i was bout 7 or 8 my dad got a girlfriend and her daughter was a rather big emo girl with lots of bi friends so i (this lil 90lbs kid was stuck with a bunch of bi chicks who were like 4 years older than me. things got a lil stranger from there but i dont like to talk about it. another simpler example would be a lil kid walkin in on some rather adult situaitons, not very fond childhood memories so i smoke bud and ive slowly been melting away my bad memories along with a few good ones and most of my childhood but o well, we video taped the important ****.) it began to freak me out a lil bit because i was thinkin about experiences that i had and how they would probibly mess somebody up in the head a lil bit…well does that mean im a lil messed up in the head? then i started to compare my mind to the mind of the average joe. but i dont know how joe thinks or reacts to things so how can i find the differences between the two of us? i couldnt. ive never really been the popular kid at school but people always liked me cause i was nice and would do pretty much anything for somebody. i dont know why but i always feel really really generous to people that i know wont return the favor or even acknoledge the kindness, im not sure why. but like i say i will do almost anything to help someone out but i dont trust people in the slightest. o and i am paranoid of being sniped in the back while i walk somewhere one day which scares the crap outa me. people tell me im funny but i dont think so, i see myself as a sarcastic ***, but i guess that just means i have like no self-esteem…o well, that **** is over rated. lately ive been thinking about something a total burnout told me awhile ago, he said there is a thin like between genius and schizophrenia. it struck me as strange becasue im pretty smart and i’ve had a lot of jackass teachers tell me that im not reaching my potential, but they are never the teachers that i actually like, its alwasy the sarcastic **** of a teacher who yells at people who will say that to me…weird right? anway i just thought it was strange cause im pretty smart but i do occasionally hear voices (by voices i mean like more than 7 and they argue which gets alittle annoying after awhile, but i only hear them sometimes. and they arent the “kill your family” voices more like a bunch of argueing old jewish men but with distinct personalities and voices….im jewish by the way) anyway i know i should be seeing a therapist to ask questions like this but i get paranoid around therapists cause my last two were a lil nuts. the first one was counciling me about my parents devorce which i never really cared about(i always just thought of it as having my parents not live together which didnt bother me at all. acutally most **** doesnt bother me, you’d have to try to light me on fire or punch me repeatidly before i will react out of anger and even then i wont be violent unless the person is drunk or a complete *******) anyway the counciler’d yell and then give me toys to make up for it and the second lady had big bug eyes and every 20min she would ask me if i was high. i’d never go to therapy high, that’d be a waste of dank. anyway i think i might be crazy but i dont even know anymore. if you have read this far, thank you for taking this much or an interest in my pitiful rambelings. ive been wanting to acutally voice what is writtin here to one of my friends so i could talk to somebody about it but i never feal comfortable bringing this up so now its 1:30 in the morning and im putting this on help.com to see if anybody feels like giving me advice. any comments are appreciated, i just wanna know what people think