Love help: ok heres how it is - Help.com

ok heres how it is

a few weeks ago me and my girlfriend had a break from our relationship
mainly becuse i was acting like a **** and controling her
now we are back together, and i am still the same but i am changing
but now she is mad becuse i havnt completely changed yet
anything i can do?

This open post was written 7 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 120, 18, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post C.J.P may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. C.J.P is a verified member, has been around for 8 months, 1 week and has 2 posts and 9 replies to their name.

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

just explain to her you are trying your best to change but that it is hard… and ask her to be patient with you because it wont just happen straight away but that you love her and that this is why you are willing to change…

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (8 minutes after post)

but when i try to explain this to her she shuts me out and will not listen
she has some pretty heavy stuff happening and i understand that
but her friends keep calling me controling still and it really hurts me

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B.Nas offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (8 minutes after post)

yes, just tell her you are trying your best. Change doesnt always happen all at once but that you are willing to do what it takes to make her happy.

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months, 1 week ago (11 minutes after post)

ok we need to get to the bottom of this then if you want this relationship to work… how exactly are you being controlling?

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

well… her words are that i always am with her (i only see her at the weekend, and only every 2 weekends)
she says i upset her by bringing up things like when she has done somthing wrong such as cuddle up to another guy etc

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B.Nas offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (19 minutes after post)

whoa…..it sounds kind of like you being controlling might not be the issue…
If you only see her for this amount of time and she thinks its too much, and she likes to cuddle up too other guys, you might be in for more than you thought. It sounds to me like its not you but her thats the problem here. If a girl is in a relationship with someone she truly cares about she should WANT to spend time with you and she shouldn’t under any circumstances be cuddling up to another guy.

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B.Nas offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (20 minutes after post)

as for bringing this up, its because you are uncomfortable with the idea that she is doing this and you should be. If you want my advice i’d stray away from this one…

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (23 minutes after post)

well she only cuddled up to him once… and i think it was only as friends but… shes always saying i upset her by saying things that are out of order …

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months, 1 week ago (42 minutes after post)

ok now that ive read a bit more take it from me mate, its not that you are controlling, it sounds like she just isn’t into you anymore… or else she wants an open relationship… one or the other…

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 30 minutes after post)

an open relationship would kill me inside and i KNOW she loves me but its just me i think… i think im messing it up

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 43 minutes after post)

that is what she wants you to think… women can be very devious… trust me i am one… what it sounds like to me is that she likes you… but only to a certain level.. not enough to go out with you full time… unless you let her flirt with other guys and basically only come to see her every once in a blue moon… but that wont work for you so do yourself a favor… leave her… you are guaranteed to find someone else… someone who really appreciates you.. it might take a while but it will happen…

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 47 minutes after post)

but…iv spent the last 9 months doing everything i can to see her, every penny i get has gone towards seeing her, and i love her to bits, i cant leave her, tbh it would break me beyond repair

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months, 1 week ago (2 hours, 5 minutes after post)

No it wouldn’t… you just think it would.. you have convinced yourself that you need her to be able to function properly, when the truth is you don’t even have her in the first place… So therefore you are doing fine with out her already you just don’t realize it.

In my honest Opinion there is no point in carrying on with this relationship because its obviously not working for her seeing as she keeps giving you grief for being who you are and its not working for you because she is making you unhappy and doubtful about yourself…

You should not be worried about this relationship, because to me there doesn’t even seem to be one to be worried about. but then again thats only my opinion on what i have been told.. i don’t know the full story.

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (2 hours, 12 minutes after post)

well… i just called her, she said “i aint in the mood, talk to you later” and hung up :\ been telling her friends im a “over controling person” and tbh she thinks I have a problem :\ think is the other way round somtimes :\

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (4 hours, 23 minutes after post)

well i did what u said…me and vicky are over :\

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months ago (18 hours, 58 minutes after post)

I know you might not think its best right now but you will see in time you will be happier… go out have fun and forget about it! :D

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C.J.P offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months ago (19 hours, 27 minutes after post)

hm…all my friends are thinking the same… they all say “it will be fine, girls come and go” hmm…its harder then it sounds tho aint it?

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CrazyInLove85 offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 7 months ago (20 hours, 24 minutes after post)

yes it is, but thats life… no one said it would be easy… they just said it would be worth it! :D just keep your head up and try and go out with your friends and have a laugh…

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