Love help: about 4 years ago I went out with a guy that I loved and addored very much. - Help.com

about 4 years ago I went out with a guy that I loved and addored very much.

He had a bit of a drug problem and eventually broke up with me he said that he wasnt good enough for me and that I needed to find someone better. About nine months after that i met who is now my huspand we have been married for three yrs now and its been a marrige with its good times and bad. About a month ago my ex and I found eachother and started talking again he is in rehab getting the help he needs he recently told me that he made a huge mistake and the he wants me back and loves me more than anything. Bad thing is, is that I love him to my heart has been split in two i love him and my huspnad. I dont know what to do I couldnt hurt my huspand by leaving him for this guy but i have so much love for the other guy that I think about it Im so lost I dont know what to do. Any advise.

This open post was written 6 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 136, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post cutie4u7 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. cutie4u7 is a verified member, has been around for 6 months, 4 weeks and has 1 posts and 2 replies to their name.

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courtbensett offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

this is a really complex situation… i guess it really depends on who you have stronger feelings for. if you honestly think you would be happier with your ex, then maybe you should leave your husband. if you love your husband very much and think you would be better off staying with him, then stay… just follow what your heart tells you to do.

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theoratica offline Verified User (10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (3 hours, 37 minutes after post)

…but at the same time understand that you may think grass is greener on the other side.. you haven’t seen this other guy in a while so you really don’t know him.. plus that would really hurt your husband and that’s not fair at all! My advice: stay with your husband.. when you marry someone, the other person is changing his life, goals, aspirations for a mutual life.. once you get into this type of a relationship, you have a responsibility to fulfill.. I know it’s easier said than done when you love both guys.. but hey, if you love your husband as much, think about the promise you have made him. Courtbensett is right though, this is a complex situation and you should also follow your heart.. but keep your promise in mind.. I really believe in what goes around comes around.. this other guy, if you get with him, a few years down the road, my dump you for someone else.. you know why? Because he won’t trust you since you’d left your husband for him.. just a thought.. good luck with your decision either way.

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Lavis Knight offline Verified User (6 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 15 hours after post)

The grass always does indeed seem greener on the other side. I cannot give any direct advice on this situation, but i can only give you some things to consider:

First is you haven’t really known this guy for at least 4 years or more, secondly remember that he left you because he felt unworthy - how do you know he won’t do this again? What if he has a stumble in his rehabilitation process and slips? Will he do the same thing?

I know it is difficult when our heart tugs us in so many different directions and i think even after 20 years of marriage it still happens to people, but please really think about this.

I wish you the best

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